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Painted Bride Quarterly’s Slush Pile - Episode 112: Letting Go of Meaning

Episode 112: Letting Go of Meaning

03/28/23 • 38 min

Painted Bride Quarterly’s Slush Pile

Can you lean into experience without always needing meaning, Slushies? The psalm is a Christian form similar to a song or poem where meaning is often elusive unless the reader is prepared to put in the work. Sometimes, though, things just are, and we certainly encounter that here in some very satisfying ways. We talk about the importance of the pause or caesura in poetry, proofreading, and powerful image systems. We also just enjoy the experience of reading two gorgeously rendered poems full of both the specific and the mysterious.

Links to things we discuss that you may dig:

Poetry Foundation: Caesura definition

Flannery O’Connor’s The Violent Bear It Away

Robert Hayden’s Those Winter Sundays

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor Wilbur Records, who kindly introduced us to the artist is A.M.Mills whose song “Spaghetti with Loretta” now opens our show.

At the table: Marion Wrenn, Kathleen Volk Miller, Samantha Neugebauer, and Dagne Forrest

John T. Leonard is a writer, educator, and poetry editor for Twyckenham Notes and The Glacier. He holds an M.A. in English from Indiana University. His previous works have appeared in Chiron Review, December Magazine, North Dakota Review, Ethel Zine, Louisiana Literature, Jelly Bucket, Mud Season Review, Nimrod International Journal, The Indianapolis Review, Genre: Urban Arts, and Trailer Park Quarterly among others. He lives in Elkhart, Indiana with his wife, three cats, and two dogs.

Socials: Twitter @jotyleon and @TwyckenhamNotes

Psalm

Prone to wonder. Lord, I feel it.

Nomad, no man, no son, father, sun.

I am bright, rusted, and wretched.

You turned the doorknob right,

hot shower and cold bathroom tile.

I was wrapped in that small, soaked rug.

A place that filled the garden of our souls,

superior and sewn, stones dancing across a lake.

Look how Christian a puddle of vomit can be.

You held me, let me breathe into your arm.

You forked my tongue and sewed a map to

North Dakota with that black medical lace.

For Hell’s sake, I am holy, holy, calm, and true.

Be escaped. Be fallen, black, and blue.

My call to evaporate, pulled upwards to

the real adventure. Wide awake now,

bruised vanity, summer of head colds

and bodies washed up on the pebbled shore.

If I took it back, my sunglassed future glance,

my walk of muses, my pacing lonely apartments,

spitting on each and every brick. If I took it back,

but not what I’ve suddenly become: a contrail

of promises, sci-fi crimes, Saturn in the traffic.

I’m chasing altars to the daylight of you.

Feels like I feel it, prone to rip the husk of your lips.

Still, the rusted son of red starlight, gospel music

touching lovers in the limo behind the hearse.

I am lime, let moonlight citrus me further.

Then Sunday will come and sweep it all away,

back into the rose quartz river of a psalm.

Fledgling

Waking up to the white bone of dawn;

memory of light, half-life of darkness,

a daily prophecy of frozen floorboards.

This cold, fading silence of Sunday morning,

falling like the ash of a thirty-year volcanic winter.

The way all of our merit would vanish, if we gave up

a moment of the day to plunge back into our dreams.

Light, now imagined as radiant cloud or burning crown.

The slow trudge outside, curse and prayer of woodpile.

Eastern red cedar still asleep: erasure of termites,

black snake of phone line limp with snow, sick fledgling

whose eyes didn’t close, not even once throughout the night;

who wa...

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Can you lean into experience without always needing meaning, Slushies? The psalm is a Christian form similar to a song or poem where meaning is often elusive unless the reader is prepared to put in the work. Sometimes, though, things just are, and we certainly encounter that here in some very satisfying ways. We talk about the importance of the pause or caesura in poetry, proofreading, and powerful image systems. We also just enjoy the experience of reading two gorgeously rendered poems full of both the specific and the mysterious.

Links to things we discuss that you may dig:

Poetry Foundation: Caesura definition

Flannery O’Connor’s The Violent Bear It Away

Robert Hayden’s Those Winter Sundays

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor Wilbur Records, who kindly introduced us to the artist is A.M.Mills whose song “Spaghetti with Loretta” now opens our show.

At the table: Marion Wrenn, Kathleen Volk Miller, Samantha Neugebauer, and Dagne Forrest

John T. Leonard is a writer, educator, and poetry editor for Twyckenham Notes and The Glacier. He holds an M.A. in English from Indiana University. His previous works have appeared in Chiron Review, December Magazine, North Dakota Review, Ethel Zine, Louisiana Literature, Jelly Bucket, Mud Season Review, Nimrod International Journal, The Indianapolis Review, Genre: Urban Arts, and Trailer Park Quarterly among others. He lives in Elkhart, Indiana with his wife, three cats, and two dogs.

Socials: Twitter @jotyleon and @TwyckenhamNotes

Psalm

Prone to wonder. Lord, I feel it.

Nomad, no man, no son, father, sun.

I am bright, rusted, and wretched.

You turned the doorknob right,

hot shower and cold bathroom tile.

I was wrapped in that small, soaked rug.

A place that filled the garden of our souls,

superior and sewn, stones dancing across a lake.

Look how Christian a puddle of vomit can be.

You held me, let me breathe into your arm.

You forked my tongue and sewed a map to

North Dakota with that black medical lace.

For Hell’s sake, I am holy, holy, calm, and true.

Be escaped. Be fallen, black, and blue.

My call to evaporate, pulled upwards to

the real adventure. Wide awake now,

bruised vanity, summer of head colds

and bodies washed up on the pebbled shore.

If I took it back, my sunglassed future glance,

my walk of muses, my pacing lonely apartments,

spitting on each and every brick. If I took it back,

but not what I’ve suddenly become: a contrail

of promises, sci-fi crimes, Saturn in the traffic.

I’m chasing altars to the daylight of you.

Feels like I feel it, prone to rip the husk of your lips.

Still, the rusted son of red starlight, gospel music

touching lovers in the limo behind the hearse.

I am lime, let moonlight citrus me further.

Then Sunday will come and sweep it all away,

back into the rose quartz river of a psalm.

Fledgling

Waking up to the white bone of dawn;

memory of light, half-life of darkness,

a daily prophecy of frozen floorboards.

This cold, fading silence of Sunday morning,

falling like the ash of a thirty-year volcanic winter.

The way all of our merit would vanish, if we gave up

a moment of the day to plunge back into our dreams.

Light, now imagined as radiant cloud or burning crown.

The slow trudge outside, curse and prayer of woodpile.

Eastern red cedar still asleep: erasure of termites,

black snake of phone line limp with snow, sick fledgling

whose eyes didn’t close, not even once throughout the night;

who wa...

Previous Episode

undefined - Episode 111:  What Lingers

Episode 111: What Lingers

There’s a lot packed into this episode, Slushies, including sibilance and balancing gravity with a light touch. Differing perspectives and the resonance of history, both real and mythical, cascade through a trio of poems by Danielle Roberts. Jason worries that his erudition has collapsed momentarily, Kathy loves the rush of wanting to immediately re-read a poem, and Samantha reminds us of an Anne Carson line: “Aristotle says that metaphor causes the mind to experience itself in the act of making a mistake.” Oh, and Marion brings to life the idea of hearing a baby’s cries in the ceiling when she recounts living in the apartment below a family with newborn triplets!

Links to things we discuss that you may dig:

Jeanann Verlee’s Helen Considers Leaving Troy

George Eliot’s Middlemarch

Anne Carson’s Essay on What I Think About Most

Elizabeth Bishop’s Collected Letters

Jason Schneiderman’s How the Sonnet Turns: From a Fold to a Helix, APR Volume 49, Issue 3

British Antarctic Survey: Ice cores and climate change

The Norton Reader

Smartless Podcast (Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett)

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor

Next Episode

undefined - Episode 113: The Call of the Wild

Episode 113: The Call of the Wild

Are you ready to get primal, Slushies? We look at poems of birth and mothering that call on the senses as they shift between what’s animal and what’s human in us. Kathy celebrates the pure, messy pleasure of a classic tomato sandwich and Jason reminds us why an irregular opening line can be the hook a poem needs, while we all marvel at a poem’s ability to dazzle us with changing perspectives, locations, and personas. Oh, and strong titles get some much deserved love too.

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor Wilbur Records, who kindly introduced us to the artist is A.M.Mills whose song “Spaghetti with Loretta” now opens our show.

At the table: Kathleen Volk Miller, Jason Schneiderman, Samantha Neugebauer, and Dagne Forrest

Sarah Elkins lives in southern West Virginia where she is rounding the final curve of a four-year term as a councilperson in the City of Lewisburg, population 3,700ish. She is also chair of the Parks Commission (Yes, you should be thinking Leslie Knope). Sarah and her husband Max run Hammer Cycles, a bicycle shop in White Sulphur Springs, WV. She and Max founded and coach the Greenbrier Valley Hellbenders Youth Mountain Bike Team and work tirelessly on trail advocacy and mountain bike initiatives throughout the region. Sarah’s son, Tad, is a high school freshman and loves hearing poems about his birth and progression through puberty. Oh, yeah, Sarah writes poetry. That’s what she loves to do most. Therefore, she fills her time with all the aforementioned stuff to remain at an appropriate level of disequilibrium from which the poetry springs.

Website: SarahElkins.com

Birthing

The summer before my son was born, I ate tomato sandwiches

with mayonnaise, salt and pepper.

The rain was so heavy in June, the fruit

swelled on the vines and their skins ripped.

I took big bites holding thick bread with two hands,

pink rainwater running down both forearms

to my elbows—everything reduced, then,

to hunger. At night, curled on my side

in the un-airconditioned dark

I dreamt of big cats’ razor tongues

dragging the length of my back,

saber teeth at my throat, not tearing

the skin but feeling for pulse,

their muscled hips coaxing me

into the sweaty delirium of my final weeks.

The cats returned every night until

twenty-six hours before I howled him into being,

I opened. All the rain of June, and July

leaving me for the hardwood floor

where I crouched on all fours looking

for flecks of vernix, tasting my wet fingers,

sniffing the sweet water for signs it was time.

The cats slunk away until now, eating

this tomato sandwich, my first in twelve years—

I recall I was a panther once.

From the Tall Grass

I floss at night after steak and butter.

My house: unguarded range, bison huffing,

ice-faced, hooves stamping an echo stutter.

I do nothing in this boundless nothing.

No thought, no synapse firing. Still hands still

stained—berry juice of an empty morning.

This room-less space, a translucent thin will

through which I, good sow, whiff my boy’s homing.

His trek complete, except for the recount—

bighorn sheep, bull moose, near miss, eagle plume.

I toss one sleek mink to the catamount.

The grass lies down; walls rise around my room.

Ursa fades. A house cat lurks in willow.

I sip gin, smooth the pelt of my pillows.

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