Dr. Ramani ON: How to Spot a Narcissist & 3 Signs of Gaslighting in Any Relationship

12/12/22 • 76 min

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Today, I am talking to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is an author of several books including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. The focus of Dr. Durvasula’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations.

Dr. Ramani shares her studies about narcissism and our narcissistic tendencies. She and I talk about how our personalities define how we act with people and around people, why narcissists are resistant to change and to how deal with one, the truth about gaslighting and why it is so unhealthy to the person at the receiving end, and why we shouldn't misplace our hopes in others and instead place it on ourselves.

What We Discuss:

00:00:00 Intro
00:03:11 When did narcissism become a study of focus?
00:07:06 Narcissism is a very quiet condition
00:12:45 Awareness and discomfort
00:19:37 How do people end up with a narcissistic personality?
00:26:25 Narcissists can be very attractive
00:33:26 The concept of multiple truths
00:36:40 Love bombing
00:41:08 The real meaning of gaslighting
00:47:05 Dealing with a gaslighter
00:53:35 “I can change this person.”
01:00:07 Ultimate healing from a narcissistic relationship
01:04:31 Setting healthy boundaries
01:06:49 Adopting narcissistic patterns to be able to fight back
01:09:20 Misplaced hope

Episode Resources

Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Website
Dr. Ramani Durvasula | YouTube
Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Twitter
Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Instagram
Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Facebook
Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani

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12/12/22 • 76 min

On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Dr. Ramani ON: How to Spot a Narcissist & 3 Signs of Gaslighting in Any Relationship

Transcript

Speaker 100:00:00.200

So the way gaslighting works is it's a denial of a person's reality. That's step one. I never said that that never happened. Now you're already a little off balance because I'm very authoritatively saying something didn't happen. That by itself is not gaslighting. Now the step two of gaslighting is then I tell you there's something wrong with you. Do you know what I'm sick of. I'm sick of living with an unhinged, paranoid lunatic. That's what I'm

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