On Her Terms with Nikki Elledge Brown

I LOVE external tracking, and yet true, sustainable inspiration is an inside job.

Internally tracking what we think and how we feel BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER we take action can be incredibly useful as we build new habits.

More in the ep, of course, but here's an at-a-glance summary:

BEFORE: Like taking a pic of the garage before you declutter it. If you don't document this current state of the union - how you feel about this area of life, what's driving you to want to change it, the resistance you have to the action, etc. you're likely to forget this feeling. One day, a different version of you who has integrated these habits and made these changes will forget what it REALLY felt like and sounded like in your brain. Take note (in detail, with no filter) so you can appreciate how far you've come!

DURING: Note the thoughts that come up as you start doing the thing. How many minutes in before you start to think, "oh this isn't that bad; I can do this," or even "I actually like this!"? Watch for patterns so you can let that Mom Brain leadership step in and remind yourself "HUNNY. This is normal. You tend to (internally) kick and scream for the first 30 seconds, and then you're fine and having fun with it. You've got this."

AFTER: What thoughts and feelings come up once you've followed through on the action and taken great care of yourself (your home, your kids, your finances), etc? Highlight and amplify those keepers. Eventually they'll grow stronger and stronger like a tractor beam of dopamine that starts to pull you in to action without you having to think so hard about it.

Over time, the more we develop this internal vocab for how X action makes us feel Y (desired feeling), the easier it will be to continue.

Mom in momentum.

Let me know what you notice!

📮 Thoughts? Qs? Requests? Share with me here in the comment box >> onherterms.com/convo

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📱 Are we connected on IG? Join me there @nikkielledgebrown and tag me in a screenshot as you listen.

👑 Want my pro support in bringing your ideas to life while valuing your fam and your well-being? Click here to tell me more.

🎧 This private pod magic is made possible by Hello Audio.

(I'm obsessed. And an affiliate. >> nikkielledgebrown.com/helloaudio. 10/10 recommend.)

Reflections from a nerd on NYE.

NOTE: The habits playlist lives at onherterms.com/spotify.

Would love to know what YOUR truth and dare challenge is!

Would also love to hear any of your answers and you scroll camera roll for your year's highlight REAL:

2024 SPEED ROUND ⚡

biggest win

favorite memory

most useful daily habit

most valuable lesson

most courageous move you made

one word or phrase to summarize your 2024

Extra credit for later consideration: What went WELL this year? What... didn’t? 🙃 What would you love to REPEAT in 2025? What would you love to do differently?

And BONUS I forgot to share (side B of the worksheet) - a forecast for the year ahead!

Write out what you would LOVE to experience in each of the months of 2025. Then answer the same Qs.

2025 SPEED ROUND ⚡

biggest win

favorite memory

most useful daily habit

most valuable lesson

most courageous move you made

one word or phrase to summarize your 2024

Extra credit for later consideration: What are you so glad you STARTED doing this year? What are you glad you STOPPED doing this year? What made you feel SPARKY and alive in 2025?

As mentioned, would happily share this doc with you for easy printing and sharing with your fam.

Just send me an email (reply to any I've sent you!) and I'll get it to you soon.

Sending lots of love from here. Looking forward to getting to know you better in 2025!

📮 Thoughts? Qs? Requests? Share with me here in the comment box >> onherterms.com/convo

❤️ Loving this episode? Tap the menu to share with a friend or three!

📱 Are we connected on IG? Join me there @nikkielledgebrown and tag me in a screenshot as you listen.

👑 Want my pro support in bringing your ideas to life while valuing your fam and your well-being? Click here to tell me more.

🎧 This private pod magic is made possible by Hello Audio.

(I'm obsessed. And an affiliate. >> nikkielledgebrown.com/helloaudio. 10/10 recommend.)

We've talked about SEEING new habits as oldies with the HABIT HALO concept.

Now let's talk about actively bringing them into time and space with the buddy system (and/or time tethers).

Think of it like a Big Sister / Big Brother program. Or training wheels. A leash or a lead.

Whatever works for your brain, as long as it helps you see the power in letting your new habit carpool (or at least caravan) with a more seasoned habit.

Examples I share: red lights + legs up the wall (as fun as it sounds), brushing and flossing, carpool and grocery pickup, taking supplements with lunch.

When and where do you already, intuitively do this? How can you use this idea to onboard your new habit and set yourself up for success?

Take a listen for more context, give it a go and keep me posted!

I'm nosy AF and would genuinely love to know which habits you're creating (and leveraging) over there.

📮 Thoughts? Qs? Requests? Share with me here in the comment box >> onherterms.com/convo

❤️ Loving this episode? Tap the menu to share with a friend or three!

📱 Are we connected on IG? Join me there @nikkielledgebrown and tag me in a screenshot as you listen.

👑 Want my pro support in bringing your ideas to life while valuing your fam and your well-being? Click here to tell me more.

🎧 This private pod magic is made possible by Hello Audio.

(I'm obsessed. And an affiliate. >> nikkielledgebrown.com/helloaudio. 10/10 recommend.)

This one was inspired by a messy manicure and the reality of progress.

Perfection is not a prerequisite for progress.

But how often do we keep ourselves from moving forward because on some level, we believe it is?

Ex. If I can't write a chapter a week, I won't even write a paragraph. (I don't recommend trying this thought at home.)

That is not how that works! Logically we know this.

Like batting averages - nobody's hitting 1000 out of 1000. Not even close.

If you want to play the game, you've got to be willing to miss sometimes.

If you want to have a chance at a hit, you've got to be willing to miss sometimes.

I describe the "what we think consistency looks like" doodles - like this one.

Progress isn't linear. It's not cookie cutter. It's messy.

Consistency is about commitment and continually opting back in.

^^ That commitment and continual opt-in makes our progress as predictable as can be. Because the only way we won't get "there" is if we quit trying.

I speak to Jon Acuff's concept of "the day after perfect" - the day we show up after the day we didn't. THAT is where the magic happens. It's where we build resilience and confidence.

We get to decide what "perfection" actually looks like for us.

Messy manicures and all.

📮 Thoughts? Qs? Requests? Share with me here in the comment box >> onherterms.com/convo

❤️ Loving this episode? Tap the menu to share with a friend or three!

📱 Are we connected on IG? Join me there @nikkielledgebrown and tag me in a screenshot as you listen.

👑 Want my pro support in bringing your ideas to life while valuing your fam and your well-being? Click here to tell me more.

🎧 This private pod magic is made possible by Hello Audio.

(I'm obsessed. And an affiliate. >> nikkielledgebrown.com/helloaudio. 10/10 recommend.)

Reflections on using big feelings (anger, fear, anxiety) as fuel for transformative action.

If you're feeling frozen, helpless, powerless, "what difference can I possibly make?"...

It's no coincidence that we're here, in this time and space. We're all needed. Take care of you!

Don't give up. Stay in the metaphorical room.

This message includes simple ideas to reclaim your power from the inside out plus pre-drafted permission slips to prioritize recharging your battery *guilt free* so that you can show up in the way that only YOU can - for yourself, your kids, your clients, your neighbors, your nation, the world at large. (All that's needed is your energetic signature.)

Pro resources mentioned (use discernment and do your due diligence of course, I haven't personally used these resources although I'm absolutely a proponent of empowering therapy and pro support!):

• openpathcollective.org **not open heart, like I said in the audio! oops.
• betterhelp.org

📮 Thoughts? Qs? Requests? Share with me here in the comment box >> onherterms.com/convo

❤️ Loving this episode? Tap the menu to share with a friend or three!

📱 Are we connected on IG? Join me there @nikkielledgebrown and tag me in a screenshot as you listen.

👑 Want my pro support in bringing your ideas to life while valuing your fam and your well-being? Click here to tell me more.

🎧 This private pod magic is made possible by Hello Audio.

(I'm obsessed. And an affiliate. >> nikkielledgebrown.com/helloaudio. 10/10 recommend.)