Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
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Top 10 Nope! We're Not Monogamous Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Nope! We're Not Monogamous episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Nope! We're Not Monogamous for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Nope! We're Not Monogamous episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
A Unicorn's Story, EP 17
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
01/27/22 • 38 min
My guest today is talking about her first ever visit to a sex club, her first ever polyamorous experience as a unicorn, and the biggest lessons she’s learned this last year in her journey to ethical non-monogamy. Kelsie Riffey can be found by day domming the business world, assisting high achieving women and scaling their businesses to seven figures and beyond, and by night you can find her on the middle of the dance floor hips swaying, fully liberated and expressed.
💨 TLDR;
- 2:23- Discovering Non-Monogamy
- 5:40- A Unicorn Story
- 17:56- Balancing Boundaries and New Relationship Energy
- 25:49- Leading One Authentic Life
- 30:39- The Sex Club Experience
- 35:06- First Date Music
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.
Want to connect with Kelsie?
Instagram - @_kelsiecorrine_
📚 Books mentioned:
● Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia
Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course
👀 Find Us Online
Website
- Facebook
- Instagram
Credits
Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/
Editor/Producer: Danny Walters.
About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.
Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Catapults and Consent: When Kink and Polyamory Overlap with Still
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
11/14/24 • 62 min
Are you ready to get an in-depth look into navigating kink and non-monogamy together? This episode is your ultimate guide to understanding the fascinating intersection of kink, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships. I’m sitting down with Still, a veteran kink community organizer and co-host of Tasty!—South Seattle's monitored monthly kink night at The Lumber Yard Bar. Together, we unpack what it really takes to create safe, trusting, and authentic experiences in these diverse communities.
What You’ll Learn:
- How Kink, Polyamory, and Swinging Communities Overlap: Discover the surprising similarities and shared practices that bring these communities together.
- The Power of Clear Boundaries and Pre-Negotiation: Why setting expectations before play is key to building trust and avoiding misunderstandings.
- Managing Jealousy and Embracing Compersion: Get practical tips on how to navigate the tricky emotions that can arise in non-monogamous dynamics.
- Safety Tips for Newcomers to Kink Events: From vetting events to understanding the role of dungeon monitors, learn how to make your first kink experience a positive one.
- The Role of Dungeon Monitors in Creating Safe Spaces: Explore how community support and safety protocols help protect everyone involved.
About Our Guest: With over a decade of experience in kink organizing and event production, Still brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. As the co-host of South Seattle’s Tasty! Kink Night at The Lumber Yard Bar, they’re passionate about creating inclusive, educational, and safe spaces for exploring alternative relationship styles. If you’re curious about BDSM or interested in broadening your understanding of non-monogamy, this episode is packed with valuable insights and expert advice. Visit the Lumberyard bar in White Center every first Thursday of the month to attend the public monitored kink night event co-hosted by Still.
Listen Now: This episode is for anyone, whether you’re new to the world of alternative relationship structures or a seasoned participant. Tune in for an honest, insightful, and judgment-free discussion that offers fresh perspectives on trust, communication, and self-discovery.
Tune in now and subscribe to "Nope! We're Not Monogamous" so you never miss an episode!
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Managing Jealousy in Open Relationships with Therapist Ann Russo
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
09/19/24 • 47 min
Navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to dealing with jealousy. In this conversation, I sit down with Ann Russo, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships, to explore the intricacies of love beyond traditional boundaries.
Ann shares her unique perspective, having grown up in a non-monogamous household, and offers valuable insights into the world of ethical non-monogamy. We discuss the importance of communication, self-awareness, and authenticity in building healthy non-monogamous relationships.
Key Insights You'll Gain:
- Understanding the fluid nature of non-monogamy and how it can evolve over time
- Strategies for addressing jealousy and insecurity in open relationships
- The importance of defining personal boundaries and communicating needs effectively
- How to navigate societal expectations and overcome internalized biases
- The role of self-love and sexual empowerment in non-monogamous relationships
We also touch on the challenges of raising children in non-monogamous households and the importance of fostering open, shame-free conversations about love and relationships.
Whether you're curious about non-monogamy, currently navigating open relationships, or simply interested in expanding your understanding of diverse relationship structures, this episode offers valuable perspectives and practical advice for creating authentic, fulfilling connections.
Ann Russo is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships. She runs a practice of therapists trained in working with non-monogamous individuals and couples. Ann also provides consulting and training for therapists on non-monogamy, sex-positive approaches, and the intersection of religion and sexuality.
Connect with Ann:
www.annrusso.orgwww.linkedin.com/in/annrussolcsw
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Polywise - A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships with Jessica Fern and David Cooley
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
10/18/23 • 64 min
Are you in a non-monogamous relationship and looking for ways to enhance your emotional intelligence? Look no further! Join me, Ellecia Paine, as I interview Jessica Fern and David Cooley on the importance of emotional intelligence in non-monogamous dynamics. Dive into their personal experiences, learn how they overcame challenges, and discover practical tools for emotional growth.
From journaling and meditation to embracing conflict as an opportunity for intimacy, this episode offers valuable insights for individuals in non-monogamous relationships.
Don't miss out on this enlightening discussion that will empower you to build stronger and more fulfilling relationships!
We're all human, and emotional intelligence plays a key role in how we interact with others. Jessica and David unpack the importance of knowing how to communicate your feelings and needs, especially when they become overwhelming. You'll learn the markers of drama triangle involvement, and strategies to enhance emotional and relational intelligence. This isn't just about relationships, it's about nurturing growth. We discuss practices to cultivate intimacy, the importance of curiosity in conflict resolution, and innovative techniques such as breathwork and restorative justice circles to help us stay present in difficult conversations.
Writing a book is a herculean task. Writing a book together? Even more so. Jessica and David share their journey of co-writing, discussing how they unpacked and developed ideas, managed critiques, and the crucial role of accountability in their creative endeavor. We also delve into the complexities of identity and relationship choice when it comes to polyamory and non-monogamy, exploring the power of frames and metaphors in public decision-making. From discussing the importance of living out one's orientation, to the best strategies for fostering intimacy, it's a conversation you don't want to miss. Tune in and let's navigate jealousy, autonomy, and the struggles of becoming ethically non-monogamous together.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Finding Yourself in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 32
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
09/07/22 • 47 min
I am so excited to share with you this conversation with Emily Gindlesparger. Emily is the author of Please Make Me Love Me, an intimate memoir of opening her relationship, coming into a queer identity, forming multiple intense, long-term relationships, and ultimately, learning to live by her own terms. She expresses herself so beautifully and, in this conversation, shares from such a heartfelt place her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy to monogamy, and finding herself along the way.
Professionally, Emily is a book coach and ghostwriter at Scribe Media, where she helps authors tackle the emotional journey of writing, tap into the wisdom of their experience, and share it with the world.
💨 TLDR;
- 8:45- Opening up
- 15:43- Finding Safety in Non-Monogamy
- 19:38- Being Honest With Yourself
- 27:12- Making Time For Yourself
- 29:18- Letting Go of Self-Judgement to Live Authentically
- 40:54- Building in Time to Feel Your Feelings
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.
Want to connect with Emily?
Website: emilygindlesparger.com
Instagram: @emilygindle
Medium: @emilygindlesparger
📚 Books mentioned:
● Please Make Me Love Me: A Memoir, by Emily Gindelsparger
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia
Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!
👀 Find Us Online
- Website
- Facebook
- Instagram
Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout
About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.
Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Good Girls Talk About Non-Monogamy, with Leah Carey, Ep. 31
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
08/11/22 • 59 min
This week I am talking to Leah Carey. Leah is a sex and intimacy coach and she's the host of Good Girls Talk About Sex. We talk about her evolution from someone who didn't talk about sex and who was very sexually repressed to someone who talks about sex a lot, very publicly. We also talk a lot about learning to share your needs and she shares her experiences and a tool for you to try at home!
Leah works with people to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires like diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, or having first time queer experiences, or investigating consensual non monogamy or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. She reflects your true sexual nature back to you without judgment, so you can see yourself without shame.
💨 TLDR;
- 4:41- The Journey to Non Monogamy
- 19:52- The Journey to Sexual Connectedness
- 25:40- The Power of Sex Workers
- 30:48- Recognizing What Works for YOU
- 44:32- Trolls vs. The Uninformed
- 50:29- Tools for Speaking Your Desires
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.
Want to connect with Leah?
www.Leahcarey.com
Instagram @goodgirlstalk
Facebook
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia
Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!
👀 Find Us Online
- Website
- Facebook
- Instagram
Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout
About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.
Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Why 2025 is the Year to Let Go of Jealousy, Ep. 92
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
01/02/25 • 13 min
Are you tired of jealousy hijacking your relationships? Imagine stepping into 2025 with the power to transform those uncomfortable feelings into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful tools to help you navigate jealousy in non-monogamous relationships with confidence and grace.
What You'll Discover:
- How to identify jealousy in your body before it spirals in your mind
- The art of uncovering hidden triggers that fuel jealous thoughts
- A game-changing approach to reframing jealousy as a helpful signal
Key Insights:
- Why suppressing jealousy only makes it stronger
- The surprising connection between curiosity and relationship growth
- Real-life examples of transforming jealousy into deeper intimacy
Whether you're new to non-monogamy or an old pro, this episode offers practical strategies to help you create lighter, more loving relationships. Learn how to turn jealousy from your enemy into your ally on the path to personal growth.
As a relationship coach with over a decade of experience in non-monogamy, I bring both personal insights and professional expertise to help you navigate the complexities of open relationships. My approach combines practical tools with deep emotional work to foster genuine connection and personal growth.
Ready to make 2025 the year you finally break free from jealousy's grip? Tune in now and take the first step towards more fulfilling, confident non-monogamous relationships.
Get on the waitlist for Beyond Jealousy today. www.elleciapaine.com/jealousy
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Long-Distance Love: Non-monogamy Across Continents with CJ
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
10/05/23 • 48 min
Are you in a long-distance relationship and curious about exploring non-monogamy? Today's guest, CJ, a sex coach and pleasure advocate, walks us through their personal experience of how non-monogamy played a vital role in navigating the challenges of being apart from their partner across two continents. We take a deep look into the significance of communication, creating a non-judgmental environment, and the importance of touch in maintaining intimacy, despite the miles.
Navigating jealousy and exploration in a relationship, especially in a non-monogamous one, can be tricky. CJ opens up about their journey of confronting the fear of being replaced and how they managed their anxiety without letting it hinder their partner's experiences. We discuss the delicate balance of sharing feelings without spoiling the partner's experience, and CJ reveals how they turned their partner's experience into something erotic, showcasing the exciting opportunities non-monogamy can offer.
Want to connect with CJ?
www.noshamewithcj.com
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Navigating Polyamory and Parenting
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
09/07/23 • 61 min
Listen to this episode if you're a non-monogamous parent or part of a non-traditional family who wants guidance on how to navigate the challenges and celebrate the unique aspects of your family structure. Koe's insights will inspire and empower you to create an environment where your children feel supported, loved, and accepted for who they are.
Koe, a second-generation sex educator, shares her journey growing up in a polyamorous family and provides insights from her intriguing book, This Heart Holds Many: My Life as a Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family. Koe's raw and honest storytelling paints a vivid picture of the challenges faced by children in non-monogamous families and how they're navigating societal structures and perceptions.
Want to connect with Koe Creation?
https://www.koecreation.com
https://www.twitter.com/koecreation
📚 Books mentioned:
- This Heart Holds Many: My Life as the Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family by Koe Creation (You can get a copy of the first edition from Koe’s website)
- Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Unlocking Desire: Exploring the Transformative Power of Sexual Fantasies with Artemisia De Vine
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
11/16/23 • 54 min
Astonishing revelations await as we journey into the realm of desires and sexual fantasies with the luminary, Artemisia De Vine. Imagine peeling back the layers of desire, treading into territories unexplored, and gaining a profound understanding of your own erotic wiring. This is not just about sex or fantasy; it's about self-discovery, connection, and pleasure in its purest form.
Dive into the world of stories; the narratives that fuel our fantasies, the scenarios that make our hearts race, and the characters that come alive in our minds. Let's dissect the power dynamic of predator and prey, a trope common in casual sex encounters, and the subconscious desires that control us more than we realise. The influence of these narratives extends beyond the bedroom to shape our relationships, experiences, and perceptions.
Finally, let's turn up the heat with Artemisia as she delves into the world of sex tips. This isn't just a list of 'do's and 'don'ts'; it's a guide to understanding your and your partner's erotic wiring. From communication to exploration, Artemisia shares insightful tips to help you unlock your desires and enhance your sexual experiences. Get ready to redefine pleasure as we navigate the captivating world of desire.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
-Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
-Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
-Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
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FAQ
How many episodes does Nope! We're Not Monogamous have?
Nope! We're Not Monogamous currently has 93 episodes available.
What topics does Nope! We're Not Monogamous cover?
The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Love, Kink, Polyamory, Podcasts, Marriage, Relationships and Sexuality.
What is the most popular episode on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?
The episode title 'Polyamory Pitfalls: Handling Jealousy in Non-Monogamy with Ali Hendry, Ep. 70' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?
The average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous is 51 minutes.
How often are episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous released?
Episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous are typically released every 14 days.
When was the first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous?
The first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous was released on Jun 19, 2021.
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