Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Ellecia Paine

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

All episodes

Best episodes

Seasons

Top 10 Nope! We're Not Monogamous Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Nope! We're Not Monogamous episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Nope! We're Not Monogamous for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Nope! We're Not Monogamous episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

Unlocking Desire: Exploring the Transformative Power of Sexual Fantasies with Artemisia De Vine

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

11/16/23 • 54 min

Astonishing revelations await as we journey into the realm of desires and sexual fantasies with the luminary, Artemisia De Vine. Imagine peeling back the layers of desire, treading into territories unexplored, and gaining a profound understanding of your own erotic wiring. This is not just about sex or fantasy; it's about self-discovery, connection, and pleasure in its purest form.
Dive into the world of stories; the narratives that fuel our fantasies, the scenarios that make our hearts race, and the characters that come alive in our minds. Let's dissect the power dynamic of predator and prey, a trope common in casual sex encounters, and the subconscious desires that control us more than we realise. The influence of these narratives extends beyond the bedroom to shape our relationships, experiences, and perceptions.
Finally, let's turn up the heat with Artemisia as she delves into the world of sex tips. This isn't just a list of 'do's and 'don'ts'; it's a guide to understanding your and your partner's erotic wiring. From communication to exploration, Artemisia shares insightful tips to help you unlock your desires and enhance your sexual experiences. Get ready to redefine pleasure as we navigate the captivating world of desire.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

A Unicorn's Story, EP 17

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

01/27/22 • 38 min

My guest today is talking about her first ever visit to a sex club, her first ever polyamorous experience as a unicorn, and the biggest lessons she’s learned this last year in her journey to ethical non-monogamy. Kelsie Riffey can be found by day domming the business world, assisting high achieving women and scaling their businesses to seven figures and beyond, and by night you can find her on the middle of the dance floor hips swaying, fully liberated and expressed.

💨 TLDR;

2:23- Discovering Non-Monogamy
5:40- A Unicorn Story
17:56- Balancing Boundaries and New Relationship Energy
25:49- Leading One Authentic Life
30:39- The Sex Club Experience
35:06- First Date Music

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Kelsie?
Instagram - @_kelsiecorrine_

📚 Books mentioned:

● Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia

Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course

👀 Find Us Online

Website
- Facebook
- Instagram
Credits

Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/

Editor/Producer: Danny Walters.

About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

Catapults and Consent: When Kink and Polyamory Overlap with Still

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

11/14/24 • 62 min

Are you ready to get an in-depth look into navigating kink and non-monogamy together? This episode is your ultimate guide to understanding the fascinating intersection of kink, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships. I’m sitting down with Still, a veteran kink community organizer and co-host of Tasty!—South Seattle's monitored monthly kink night at The Lumber Yard Bar. Together, we unpack what it really takes to create safe, trusting, and authentic experiences in these diverse communities.
What You’ll Learn:

How Kink, Polyamory, and Swinging Communities Overlap: Discover the surprising similarities and shared practices that bring these communities together.
The Power of Clear Boundaries and Pre-Negotiation: Why setting expectations before play is key to building trust and avoiding misunderstandings.
Managing Jealousy and Embracing Compersion: Get practical tips on how to navigate the tricky emotions that can arise in non-monogamous dynamics.
Safety Tips for Newcomers to Kink Events: From vetting events to understanding the role of dungeon monitors, learn how to make your first kink experience a positive one.
The Role of Dungeon Monitors in Creating Safe Spaces: Explore how community support and safety protocols help protect everyone involved.

About Our Guest: With over a decade of experience in kink organizing and event production, Still brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. As the co-host of South Seattle’s Tasty! Kink Night at The Lumber Yard Bar, they’re passionate about creating inclusive, educational, and safe spaces for exploring alternative relationship styles. If you’re curious about BDSM or interested in broadening your understanding of non-monogamy, this episode is packed with valuable insights and expert advice. Visit the Lumberyard bar in White Center every first Thursday of the month to attend the public monitored kink night event co-hosted by Still.
Listen Now: This episode is for anyone, whether you’re new to the world of alternative relationship structures or a seasoned participant. Tune in for an honest, insightful, and judgment-free discussion that offers fresh perspectives on trust, communication, and self-discovery.

Tune in now and subscribe to "Nope! We're Not Monogamous" so you never miss an episode!

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

No Rules Polyamory: Exploring Pleasure, Tantra and Sex Magic

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

05/02/24 • 44 min

Can sex magic really help you manifest your desires and enhance pleasure? In this candid conversation with Lona, a neo-tantra teacher and sexual bliss coach, we unravel the mysteries behind this esoteric practice. Lona shares her personal journey into non-monogamy, kink, and somatic therapy as gateways to deeper fulfillment.

We explore the challenges of her transition from a decade in a monogamous relationship to forging her own path of "no rules" polyamory. Lona explains how she discovered tantra while studying witchcraft, and became fascinated by its power to merge sexuality and spirituality. She offers insight into missteps within past relationships, and how those experiences ultimately strengthened her connections. Lona also discusses techniques for moving beyond trauma triggers using the wisdom of the body over that of the mind.

By tuning in you’ll:

Gain perspective into a teacher's evolution with non-monogamy and polyamory
Learn foundational concepts of neo-tantra, sex magic, somatic therapy
Pick up strategies for communicating needs and embracing vulnerability in relationships
Find inspiration to explore your most authentic sexual and spiritual self

Join us for an eye-opening, taboo-busting conversation that will teach you how to unlock the magical power of pleasure. Hit play now to start manifesting your desires.

Want to Connect with Lona?
www.lonateachesbliss.com

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

From Strict Religion to Ceremonial Celebrations: Dan's Story

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

05/30/24 • 63 min

Imagine growing up in a world where love had strict rules, only to break free and discover endless possibilities. This is the story of Dan and Jennie, a married couple who defied societal norms to embrace ethical non-monogamy.

For over 30 years, Dan and Jennie have navigated the challenges of leaving behind their conservative religious roots and exploring swinging and polyamory. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Dan shares their journey, from dealing with shame and judgment to tackling the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy and breakups. His insights give us a rare look into the highs and lows of living life on their own terms.

Here’s what you can expect from this inspiring episode:

Letting Go of Old Beliefs: Discover strategies for shedding outdated beliefs and building real connections.
Effective Communication and Boundaries: Learn how to communicate better and set healthy boundaries in non-monogamous relationships.
Managing Triggers and Embracing Vulnerability: Get practical tips for handling emotional triggers, embracing vulnerability, and focusing on personal growth.
Redefining Love and Sexuality: Gain a fresh perspective on love, sexuality, and the freedom to design relationships that reflect your true values.

With honesty and hard-earned wisdom, Dan dives into the transformative power of confronting personal traumas, embracing all parts of oneself, and living authentically. Whether you’re experienced in non-monogamy or just curious about different relationship structures, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a powerful reminder that love has no limits.

Join me, Ellecia, and Dan on this eye-opening journey, and find the courage to create a life that’s full, passionate, and true to yourself.
Want to connect with Dan? email [email protected]

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

Managing Jealousy in Open Relationships with Therapist Ann Russo

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

09/19/24 • 47 min

Navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to dealing with jealousy. In this conversation, I sit down with Ann Russo, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships, to explore the intricacies of love beyond traditional boundaries.

Ann shares her unique perspective, having grown up in a non-monogamous household, and offers valuable insights into the world of ethical non-monogamy. We discuss the importance of communication, self-awareness, and authenticity in building healthy non-monogamous relationships.
Key Insights You'll Gain:

Understanding the fluid nature of non-monogamy and how it can evolve over time
Strategies for addressing jealousy and insecurity in open relationships
The importance of defining personal boundaries and communicating needs effectively
How to navigate societal expectations and overcome internalized biases
The role of self-love and sexual empowerment in non-monogamous relationships

We also touch on the challenges of raising children in non-monogamous households and the importance of fostering open, shame-free conversations about love and relationships.

Whether you're curious about non-monogamy, currently navigating open relationships, or simply interested in expanding your understanding of diverse relationship structures, this episode offers valuable perspectives and practical advice for creating authentic, fulfilling connections.
Ann Russo is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships. She runs a practice of therapists trained in working with non-monogamous individuals and couples. Ann also provides consulting and training for therapists on non-monogamy, sex-positive approaches, and the intersection of religion and sexuality.
Connect with Ann:
www.annrusso.org www.linkedin.com/in/annrussolcsw

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

Polywise - A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships with Jessica Fern and David Cooley

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

10/18/23 • 63 min

Are you in a non-monogamous relationship and looking for ways to enhance your emotional intelligence? Look no further! Join me, Ellecia Paine, as I interview Jessica Fern and David Cooley on the importance of emotional intelligence in non-monogamous dynamics. Dive into their personal experiences, learn how they overcame challenges, and discover practical tools for emotional growth.
From journaling and meditation to embracing conflict as an opportunity for intimacy, this episode offers valuable insights for individuals in non-monogamous relationships.
Don't miss out on this enlightening discussion that will empower you to build stronger and more fulfilling relationships!
We're all human, and emotional intelligence plays a key role in how we interact with others. Jessica and David unpack the importance of knowing how to communicate your feelings and needs, especially when they become overwhelming. You'll learn the markers of drama triangle involvement, and strategies to enhance emotional and relational intelligence. This isn't just about relationships, it's about nurturing growth. We discuss practices to cultivate intimacy, the importance of curiosity in conflict resolution, and innovative techniques such as breathwork and restorative justice circles to help us stay present in difficult conversations.
Writing a book is a herculean task. Writing a book together? Even more so. Jessica and David share their journey of co-writing, discussing how they unpacked and developed ideas, managed critiques, and the crucial role of accountability in their creative endeavor. We also delve into the complexities of identity and relationship choice when it comes to polyamory and non-monogamy, exploring the power of frames and metaphors in public decision-making. From discussing the importance of living out one's orientation, to the best strategies for fostering intimacy, it's a conversation you don't want to miss. Tune in and let's navigate jealousy, autonomy, and the struggles of becoming ethically non-monogamous together.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

Finding Yourself in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 32

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

09/07/22 • 46 min

I am so excited to share with you this conversation with Emily Gindlesparger. Emily is the author of Please Make Me Love Me, an intimate memoir of opening her relationship, coming into a queer identity, forming multiple intense, long-term relationships, and ultimately, learning to live by her own terms. She expresses herself so beautifully and, in this conversation, shares from such a heartfelt place her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy to monogamy, and finding herself along the way.

Professionally, Emily is a book coach and ghostwriter at Scribe Media, where she helps authors tackle the emotional journey of writing, tap into the wisdom of their experience, and share it with the world.

💨 TLDR;

8:45- Opening up
15:43- Finding Safety in Non-Monogamy
19:38- Being Honest With Yourself
27:12- Making Time For Yourself
29:18- Letting Go of Self-Judgement to Live Authentically
40:54- Building in Time to Feel Your Feelings

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Emily?
Website: emilygindlesparger.com
Instagram: @emilygindle
Medium: @emilygindlesparger

📚 Books mentioned:

● Please Make Me Love Me: A Memoir, by Emily Gindelsparger

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia

Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!

👀 Find Us Online
- Website
- Facebook
- Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

Good Girls Talk About Non-Monogamy, with Leah Carey, Ep. 31

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

08/11/22 • 59 min

This week I am talking to Leah Carey. Leah is a sex and intimacy coach and she's the host of Good Girls Talk About Sex. We talk about her evolution from someone who didn't talk about sex and who was very sexually repressed to someone who talks about sex a lot, very publicly. We also talk a lot about learning to share your needs and she shares her experiences and a tool for you to try at home!

Leah works with people to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires like diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, or having first time queer experiences, or investigating consensual non monogamy or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. She reflects your true sexual nature back to you without judgment, so you can see yourself without shame.

💨 TLDR;

4:41- The Journey to Non Monogamy
19:52- The Journey to Sexual Connectedness
25:40- The Power of Sex Workers
30:48- Recognizing What Works for YOU
44:32- Trolls vs. The Uninformed
50:29- Tools for Speaking Your Desires

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Leah?

www.Leahcarey.com
Instagram @goodgirlstalk
Facebook

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia

Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!

👀 Find Us Online
- Website
- Facebook
- Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

Why DIY Jealousy Solutions Fall Short in Non Monogamy

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

01/23/25 • 11 min

Have you ever found yourself caught in the grip of jealousy, promising that next time will be different, only to find those familiar feelings resurface? If you've been trying to tackle jealousy on your own without success, you're not alone. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on why DIY approaches to managing jealousy often fall short, and why deeper work is crucial for lasting change.

I'll explore the hidden complexities of jealousy, moving beyond surface-level solutions to uncover the root causes that keep us stuck. I'll share insights on why willpower alone isn't enough and how attempting to suppress or avoid jealousy can actually intensify its grip on our relationships and self-esteem.
Key Insights:

Why jealousy isn't just an emotion, but a signal pointing to deeper issues
The common pitfalls of DIY jealousy management and how to avoid them
The importance of structured guidance and professional support in overcoming jealousy
How to recognize when you're ready for real change in your approach to jealousy

Join me as we challenge the notion that we should handle jealousy alone and explore a path towards more peaceful, confident, and connected relationships. It's time to move beyond DIY solutions and embrace a more effective approach to managing jealousy in non-monogamous contexts.

Ready to take the next step? Visit elleciapaine.com/jealousy to learn more about the Beyond Jealousy program, an 8-week group coaching experience designed to help you find freedom from jealousy and create more fulfilling relationships.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

Show more best episodes

FAQ

How many episodes does Nope! We're Not Monogamous have?

Nope! We're Not Monogamous currently has 115 episodes available.

What topics does Nope! We're Not Monogamous cover?

The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Love, Kink, Polyamory, Podcasts, Marriage, Relationships and Sexuality.

What is the most popular episode on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

The episode title 'How I Learned to Embrace Abundance in Non-Monogamous Relationships, Ep. 69' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

The average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous is 48 minutes.

How often are episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous released?

Episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous are typically released every 14 days.

When was the first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

The first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous was released on Jun 19, 2021.

Show more FAQ

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Ellecia Paine

Top 10 Nope! We're Not Monogamous Episodes

FAQ

How many episodes does Nope! We're Not Monogamous have?

What topics does Nope! We're Not Monogamous cover?

What is the most popular episode on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

What is the average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

How often are episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous released?

When was the first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

Comments