Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Ellecia Paine

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

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Top 10 Nope! We're Not Monogamous Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Nope! We're Not Monogamous episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Nope! We're Not Monogamous for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Nope! We're Not Monogamous episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

Managing Jealousy in Open Relationships with Therapist Ann Russo

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

09/19/24 • 47 min

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Navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to dealing with jealousy. In this conversation, I sit down with Ann Russo, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships, to explore the intricacies of love beyond traditional boundaries.

Ann shares her unique perspective, having grown up in a non-monogamous household, and offers valuable insights into the world of ethical non-monogamy. We discuss the importance of communication, self-awareness, and authenticity in building healthy non-monogamous relationships.
Key Insights You'll Gain:

Understanding the fluid nature of non-monogamy and how it can evolve over time
Strategies for addressing jealousy and insecurity in open relationships
The importance of defining personal boundaries and communicating needs effectively
How to navigate societal expectations and overcome internalized biases
The role of self-love and sexual empowerment in non-monogamous relationships

We also touch on the challenges of raising children in non-monogamous households and the importance of fostering open, shame-free conversations about love and relationships.

Whether you're curious about non-monogamy, currently navigating open relationships, or simply interested in expanding your understanding of diverse relationship structures, this episode offers valuable perspectives and practical advice for creating authentic, fulfilling connections.
Ann Russo is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships. She runs a practice of therapists trained in working with non-monogamous individuals and couples. Ann also provides consulting and training for therapists on non-monogamy, sex-positive approaches, and the intersection of religion and sexuality.
Connect with Ann:
www.annrusso.org www.linkedin.com/in/annrussolcsw

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
- Website https://www.elleciapaine.com/
- Facebook https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
- Instagram https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Beyond Fairy Tales: Real Connection Strategies Unveiled

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

04/18/24 • 58 min

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Today, we're challenging everything you thought you knew about love with Adam Lyons, a world-renowned dating coach and psychology expert who's turning traditional views on their head.
Adam argues that love isn't just an emotion; it's actually deeply rooted in science, specifically tied to the chemical oxytocin. He'll share how understanding the triggers of attachment, attraction, and happiness can completely transform the way we approach dating and relationships.
Adam has a fascinating journey into polyamory and a rich background in both psychology and business, and hes outspoken in his desire to reshape our understanding of romantic relationships. Living in a polyamorous throuple and raising a family within this dynamic has given him a unique perspective on love's complexities. Today, he's here to debunk the myths we've been fed—from fairy tales to Hollywood romances—and to offer practical advice for navigating love in today's world.
Prepare to have your perceptions of love and relationships profoundly challenged and enriched. Let's dive into a conversation with Adam Lyons about redefining love beyond the conventional.
Want to Connect with Adam?

Visit askthedatingcoach.com to take the free personality test and gain insights into your dating life and self-sabotage patterns.
Connect with Adam Lyons on Instagram at @theadamlyons for more dating and relationship advice and tips.

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From Polyamory to Monogamish: Relationship Coach Gets Real About Polyamory, Ep. 71

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

03/21/24 • 46 min

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Welcome to a heart-to-heart with Shelby Avann, where we peel back the layers on relationships, intimacy, and the magic of healing. Shelby isn't just any relationship and intimacy coach. She’s a Reiki healer too, with a knack for weaving spirituality and science into a transformative blend that empowers women to deepen emotional intimacy, shake off codependency, and wave goodbye to loneliness.
In today’s chat, Shelby gets real about her own love life adventures. She's journeyed from exploring polyamory to finding her sweet spot in what she calls a "monogamish" relationship. It’s all about discovering what truly clicks with your heart and values.
Here’s What We’re Getting Into:

Finding Your Non-Monogamy Fit: Shelby talks about figuring out which form of non-monogamy feels right, because one size definitely doesn’t fit all.
Jealousy: The Green Monster: How do you deal with jealousy and insecurity as you open up your relationship? Shelby's got some solid advice.
Trust Talks: The importance of laying down a strong foundation of trust through open talks about needs and setting clear boundaries.
Self-Growth is Key: Shelby stresses the importance of working on yourself to find security and fulfillment in any relationship.
Healing with Reiki: Discover how Reiki can help clear those stubborn emotional blockages that keep you stuck.

Shelby’s insights on building intimacy through being real, vulnerable, and sometimes just plain silly with your partner are gold. She also tackles how letting anxiety run the show can throw a wrench in making those deep connections. No matter where you stand on the relationship spectrum, Shelby's wisdom is like having a heart-to-heart with a friend who’s seen it all.
Want to connect with Shelby?

www.shelbyavann.ca

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How I Learned to Embrace Abundance in Non-Monogamous Relationships, Ep. 69

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

02/22/24 • 48 min

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Hey friends! We’re going on a journey with Nicoletta Heidegger, therapist, sexologist, and host of the "Sluts and Scholars" podcast, as we chat about the world of non-monogamy on my latest podcast episode. Nicoletta opened up about her 7-year exploration from monogamy to embracing a non-monogamous lifestyle, sharing the raw challenges she encountered along the way. From aligning with partners who share her vision to battling the need to feel "special" and dismantling a scarcity mindset, Nicoletta's story is both vulnerable and profoundly relatable.
In this episode, you'll discover:

Some of the joys and challenges of navigating non-monogamous relationships.
Some Strategies for overcoming common hurdles in the transition to non-monogamy.
The importance of building connections with seasoned individuals in the non-monogamous community.
Techniques for nervous system regulation to achieve relationship harmony.
The critical role of self-awareness in cultivating healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Want to get in touch with Nicoletta?

@SlutsonScholars
@therapywithnicoletta
https://slutsscholars.libsyn.com/

Resources in this episode

Check out the book The Polyamory Paradox by Irene Mourning for insights into somatic nervous system healing and finding confidence in non-monogamy.
Explore the concept of Circles of Sexuality by searching online for resources and tools to understand your sexual narrative, beliefs, and values.
Learn about equine-assisted psychotherapy and its benefits by researching local therapy centers or practitioners who offer this unique form of therapy.

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Shedding Resentment and Finding Freedom in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Daisy Sky

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

01/25/24 • 48 min

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Do you desire emotional healing and inner peace in your non-monogamous relationship journey? My guest today will be revealing the key to finding forgiveness and experiencing profound emotional growth. Unlocking the pathway to inner peace and healing is within your reach, and Daisy Sky will show you how to achieve this transformation.
Daisy Sky, a seasoned practitioner of polyamory, has been exploring non-monogamous relationships for over a decade. Describing herself as a chaotic femme, she infuses her gender expression with an element of delightful disorder.
Daisy Sky's journey into polyamory began in her junior year of high school, and since then, she has embraced a relationship anarchy approach. Throughout her experience, she has been an advocate for open communication, mindfulness, and mental health.
Daisy Sky's willingness to share her experiments with monogamy and her ultimate return to a more open way of loving, founded on personal sovereignty and ethical fulfillment, offers a unique and insightful perspective on the challenges and rewards of non-monogamous relationships.
In this episode:

Embrace the beauty of polyamorous relationships and their unique dynamics.
Discover effective strategies for navigating multiple relationships with grace and understanding.
Overcome scarcity mindset in relationships and cultivate abundance and fulfillment.
Join a transformative non-monogamy coaching program for support and guidance.
Explore the forgiveness process and experience deep emotional healing in relationships.

Want to connect with Daisy Sky?
Instagram @Theforgivenessdoula

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Kitchen Table Poly: Unpacking Metamours and Breakups, Ep. 43

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

02/23/23 • 60 min

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Sara and I are talking about her experiences with polyamory and some of mine too! We cover coming out to family and friends as polyamorous, how polyamorous people might handle breakups of their partners, and how to deal with metamour relationships. Dr. Sara Sohn, DPT, PT, WCS is a highly accomplished and experienced pelvic floor physical therapist, sex counselor, and mentor for leaders working in taboo areas.

Sara holds a strong belief that pleasure is a fundamental right and dedicates her efforts to mentoring health and wellness providers to become courageous leaders in sexual literacy. With over half a decade of experience as a leading pelvic health provider, Sara has dedicated herself to educating the community, speaking nationally, and preparing others to lead in areas that are often stigmatized or taboo. Additionally, she has a personal lifestyle of polyamory, long-term partnership with two partners, and enjoys solo backpacking and singing. To learn more about Sara and her work, visit the links provided.

💨 TLDR;

Kitchen Table Poly
Handling Partner Breakups in Polyamory
Integrating Metamours
Polyamory as an Identity vs Choice
The Coming Out Process
Metamour Relationships
Poly Check-in
Building a Supportive Community
Jealousy as a Catalyst
Labbing
The Importance of Understanding Sexuality for Health and Wellness Providers

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon!

Want to connect with Sara?
Website - www.confidentpelvicrehab.com
Facebook group - www.facebook.com/groups/cprforyourprivates
Free Book Club - https://p.bttr.to/3DjzCLE

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!

👀 Find Us Online
- Website
- Facebook
- Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-m

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Sexual Safety in Non-Monogamy Ep. 13

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

11/18/21 • 55 min

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In today’s episode I have the pleasure of speaking with Evelin Dacker. We have a juicy conversation on creating sexual safety in non-monogamy. She tackles the most asked questions from my listeners on STIs, new relationship energy and she breaks down STARS, and how she uses it to create healthy relationships and communication around sex.

Evelin Dacker is a sex-positive Integrative Family Medicine physician. She is active in creating a safe space for LGBTQIA youth and adults and helping people through illness, trauma, and life transitions towards finding balance and joy. In addition to practicing medicine, Evelin created the safer sex communication model STARS to help facilitate open and honest sex conversations. She is a consent and sex educator, sexual health activist and TEDx speaker (on STARS).

💨 TLDR;

2:19- Polyamory
6:24- New Relationship Energy and Poly
9:46- S.T.A.R.S.
26:58- STIs
39:20- Sex Positive Doctors
42:48- Hierarchy in Relationships
46:06- Owning Yourself

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Evelin...

📚 Books mentioned:

“Polysecure”, by Jessica Fern
“All About Love”, by Bell Hooks

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia

👀 Find Us Online

- Website

- Facebook

- Instagram

Credits

- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/

- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters.

About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

Support the show

Finding Balance in an Unconventional BDSM Triad, Ep. 64

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

12/14/23 • 47 min

Send us a text

Curious about unconventional triad relationships and BDSM dynamics?

In this episode, we explore Hannah's journey from swinging to polyamory, the challenges of managing multiple partners, and the significance of setting boundaries and valuing personal time. Discover how Hannah copes with the demands of balancing two partners, work, family, and personal time, and the importance they place on clear hierarchy and boundaries within their unconventional triad setup with a BDSM dynamic. We also discuss the emotional impact, self-discovery, and constant learning within non-monogamous relationships. Delve into a candid conversation that emphasizes the ongoing nature of this journey, the rewarding moments, and the transformative power of non-monogamy on personal growth and self-discovery.

Hannah is an Empowerment & Relationship coach, delighting in the fringes of traditional society. Bisexual, Non-monogamous & kinky, she brings the topic of sexuality and taboo out into the light, to help others shift societal shame and live as their true selves. Hannah is a published author and hosts her own podcast "Kinky & Unpopular" which follows her BDSM journey alongside her partner and her submissive, in their triad type dynamic.

💨 TLDR;

Embrace the freedom of non-monogamous relationships and polyamory to explore deeper connections and personal growth.
Establish clear boundaries and prioritize personal time to foster healthy and fulfilling relationships within a non-traditional dynamic.
Overcome the challenges of managing multiple partners by navigating communication and individual needs with compassion and understanding.
Create a strong foundation for an unconventional triad setup with BDSM dynamics, fostering trust, intimacy, and mutual respect.
Cultivate the importance of open and honest communication to strengthen connections and promote emotional well-being in non-traditional relationships.

Want to connect with Hannah?
https://desilvacoaching.com

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Starting Out Strong: First Steps to ENM, Ep. 21

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

03/24/22 • 54 min

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This week I am speaking with Dr. Joli Hamilton. This is one of my favorite episodes that I've recorded yet. Meeting someone whose journey feels so similar to my own is so validating and is really what I hope to provide for so many of you the listeners.

Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT (pronounced ay-sect) certified sex educator. Joli’s also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love and host of the Project Relationship podcast. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.

💨 TLDR;

2:14- The Journey to Non-Monogamy
16:29- Coming Out
23:10- Kids and Non-Monogamy
32:34- Jealousy
40:24- Self-Awareness
50:17- Finding Community in Non-Monogamy

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Dr. Joli?

Grab her top 5 Relationship Guides here

Connect on Instagram

📚 Books mentioned:

Ethical Slut, Janet Hardy
Project Relationship by Dr. Joli Hamilton

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia

Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course

👀 Find Us Online

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About US

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Support the show

Catapults and Consent: When Kink and Polyamory Overlap with Still

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

11/14/24 • 62 min

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Are you ready to get an in-depth look into navigating kink and non-monogamy together? This episode is your ultimate guide to understanding the fascinating intersection of kink, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships. I’m sitting down with Still, a veteran kink community organizer and co-host of Tasty!—South Seattle's monitored monthly kink night at The Lumber Yard Bar. Together, we unpack what it really takes to create safe, trusting, and authentic experiences in these diverse communities.
What You’ll Learn:

How Kink, Polyamory, and Swinging Communities Overlap: Discover the surprising similarities and shared practices that bring these communities together.
The Power of Clear Boundaries and Pre-Negotiation: Why setting expectations before play is key to building trust and avoiding misunderstandings.
Managing Jealousy and Embracing Compersion: Get practical tips on how to navigate the tricky emotions that can arise in non-monogamous dynamics.
Safety Tips for Newcomers to Kink Events: From vetting events to understanding the role of dungeon monitors, learn how to make your first kink experience a positive one.
The Role of Dungeon Monitors in Creating Safe Spaces: Explore how community support and safety protocols help protect everyone involved.

About Our Guest: With over a decade of experience in kink organizing and event production, Still brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. As the co-host of South Seattle’s Tasty! Kink Night at The Lumber Yard Bar, they’re passionate about creating inclusive, educational, and safe spaces for exploring alternative relationship styles. If you’re curious about BDSM or interested in broadening your understanding of non-monogamy, this episode is packed with valuable insights and expert advice. Visit the Lumberyard bar in White Center every first Thursday of the month to attend the public monitored kink night event co-hosted by Still.
Listen Now: This episode is for anyone, whether you’re new to the world of alternative relationship structures or a seasoned participant. Tune in for an honest, insightful, and judgment-free discussion that offers fresh perspectives on trust, communication, and self-discovery.

Tune in now and subscribe to "Nope! We're Not Monogamous" so you never miss an episode!

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FAQ

How many episodes does Nope! We're Not Monogamous have?

Nope! We're Not Monogamous currently has 89 episodes available.

What topics does Nope! We're Not Monogamous cover?

The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Love, Kink, Polyamory, Podcasts, Marriage, Relationships and Sexuality.

What is the most popular episode on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

The episode title 'Polyamory Pitfalls: Handling Jealousy in Non-Monogamy with Ali Hendry, Ep. 70' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

The average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous is 52 minutes.

How often are episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous released?

Episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous are typically released every 14 days.

When was the first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

The first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous was released on Jun 19, 2021.

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Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Ellecia Paine

Top 10 Nope! We're Not Monogamous Episodes

FAQ

How many episodes does Nope! We're Not Monogamous have?

What topics does Nope! We're Not Monogamous cover?

What is the most popular episode on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

What is the average episode length on Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

How often are episodes of Nope! We're Not Monogamous released?

When was the first episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous?

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