New York Magazine's Sex Lives

Is dating a lopsided numbers game in which women are screwed? We talk to Jon Birger, author of Dateonomics (who says, yes, totally). We also debate when in a relationship the sex is best (wondering why it takes people so long to figure out how to fuck each other properly) and whether it's possible to extract yourselves from a friends-with-benefits situation without kissing friendship goodbye. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells

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This week, we interview the sex- and romance-writer Alyssa Shelasky, maven of New York Magazine’s hugely popular sex diaries, who explains how that sausage gets made; how dreamy the Lebanese-American basketball player who donated his splooge to her sounded when she heard his voice; and also how she schedules make-out time in the one-bedroom apartment she shares with her eight-month-old. With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells

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In the seventh month of her pregnancy, E.J. Dickson found herself with the libido of a teenage boy— including a desire to watch hardcore pornography, the kind of terrifying gang-bangs she'd never seen or sought before. Before her pregnancy, E.J. was a journalist who wrote about sex. Then, mid-pregnancy, she lost her job, reinvented, and became an editor at Romper, a parenting site for millennials. E.J. discusses her new career, her new boobs, pregnant masturbation, and fighting strangers who don't give her a seat on the subway. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives and host Maureen O'Connor.

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Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. She writes herpes-themed erotica; she gave a TED talk about herpes; she celebrates the day she was diagnosed with herpes; and her activism on sexually-transmitted diseases earned praise from Hillary Clinton. All this, and she's only had two outbreaks— which is a pretty standard experience. Ella gets real about dating with herpes, enjoying unprotected sex, and getting her sexual education from Harry Potter fan fiction. And before you jump to judgment, remember: 2 in 3 of you have the same type of herpes that Ella has. (She has oral herpes on her genitals. Yes, it can happen.) And 1 in 5 of you has the other kind. (Ella knows a woman who gets genital herpes on her elbow.) Call 646-494-3590 to leave a voicemail for Sex Lives.

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Does dating suck because you’re awkward, or are you awkward because it’s a date? Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome, explains why steeling yourself and weathering the first five minutes of awkwardness is usually worth it. “Don’t be a wallflower,” he says, meaning it literally: research shows that location is a powerful predictor of social success. But what if our love lives need awkwardness? Host Maureen O’Connor wonders if awkwardness, coded differently, is the very definition of romance. Call 646-494-3590 with cringeworthy meet-cutes and awkward sex stories.

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