5. “I paid off $50,000 of debt, but I still feel guilty buying toothpaste”

08/17/21 • 40 min

3 Listeners

Sheena has paid off a huge chunk of her student debt. Peter wants to plan a trip to Japan for their 10th anniversary and decorate their apartment, but Sheena’s first reaction is, “How will we afford it?” Money is one of the first things she thinks about. She thinks about it every day, even when buying toothpaste.

Sheena is clearly terrified of money. She can’t even feel proud that last year mid-pandemic, she paid off $15,000 of her credit card debt! When I ask her how she’ll feel when her debt is paid off, she says “Better...I hope?” But I know it won’t happen unless she changes her money psychology.

Sheena and Peter’s story is an example of how we can punish ourselves unnecessarily when we grapple with finances with an all-or-nothing approach. Sheena has created a financial cage in her own mind -- but she also has the keys to get out. Listen in to understand how just a few shifts to her money psychology -- and a surprising financial strategy -- will let her take control of her money.

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Produced by Crate Media.

Connect with Ramit

Produced by Crate Media.

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4. “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”

1 Recommendations

John has a lot of debt. Wendy knew about the $450k he owed when they started their relationship, over ten years ago, but she only found out what the current number is the day before their call with me – and the number has gone up!

She wants to help him pay it off but he refuses to allow it. John insists that everything is under control, but Wendy doesn’t believe him. He makes a plan, then sets it and forgets it. She needs to check the status and cross things off the list.

Underneath all of the financial questions, there’s a deeper conflict: he wants another child. She doesn’t feel ready. Does money play a part in her reluctance?

As you listen, notice that John and Wendy are calm, collected, and clearly love each other – even with $600,000 of debt! I’ve spoken to couples who were more stressed out about $20K of debt. They have the trust, but they need help to get clarity.

Listen for their revelations and breakthroughs around money and building a Rich Life.

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Produced by Crate Media.

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6. “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”

Jessica grew up wealthy in New York City. She can't imagine her life anywhere that's not within walking distance to the coffee shop, the best schools, and her parents (who live two blocks away). Her husband, Nathaniel, is building his business and it’s been difficult getting it off the ground. For a while now, Jessica's been absorbing most finances and feels that the situation would improve if Nathaniel contributed just an extra $100 to living expenses.

Jessica and Nathaniel struggle when it comes to communicating with each other. In fact, they spend 20 minutes answering my first question before I can get a word in. The truth is, They're both so fixated on telling their story, they do not realize that neither of them is listening. I hear anger, resentment, exhaustion... what do you hear?

It takes a while to get to the numbers, but we start crunching after clearing some of the other issues. The results are extremely surprising.

Sometimes, our attachment to the story we tell ourselves can cloud the reality in front of us. Moving is complicated, but it doesn't have to be a step back. Listen to see what to do when your financial reality doesn’t match the vision you had of your ideal life.

Connect with Ramit

Produced by Crate Media.