A Bad Morning
05/02/22 • 28 min
A Bad Morning
In episode 2 Eliza looks at the tensions around school attendance, how traumatising this can be, and how children are masking their true self to survive.
Currently almost two million children are regularly absent from school. Many of these will have special needs - making going to school a stressful and distressing experience. But in a system that prizes attendance over wellbeing, autistic children are forced into an environment that makes them unwell.
Attendance becomes the first obstacle of many to overcome - school want children to attend regardless of their mental state, but parents know school is creating distress. Teachers want to help, but are under resourced and under pressure to maintain standards. Parents are sent on parenting courses, and get lost in a labyrinth of bureaucratic “support”. To cope at school, children learn to mask their real feelings, leading to exhaustion and burnout. Until eventually the family is at breaking point.
“I saw my child closing down. She was using every element of herself to cope with getting through each day. Then eventually came a complete shutdown, the body and the mind can't do it anymore. And they are too unwell to do anything.”
Featuring:
Eliza Fricker (@_MissingTheMark)
Tom Vodden (@TVodden), teacher and trainer
Liz Soper (@ASeatAtTheTabl4), A Seat At The Table
Kieran Rose (@KieranRose7), The Autistic Advocate
Dr Chris Bagley (@hiddendepths), Director of Research at States of Mind
Resources:
Facebook MissingTheMark1
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A Bad Morning
In episode 2 Eliza looks at the tensions around school attendance, how traumatising this can be, and how children are masking their true self to survive.
Currently almost two million children are regularly absent from school. Many of these will have special needs - making going to school a stressful and distressing experience. But in a system that prizes attendance over wellbeing, autistic children are forced into an environment that makes them unwell.
Attendance becomes the first obstacle of many to overcome - school want children to attend regardless of their mental state, but parents know school is creating distress. Teachers want to help, but are under resourced and under pressure to maintain standards. Parents are sent on parenting courses, and get lost in a labyrinth of bureaucratic “support”. To cope at school, children learn to mask their real feelings, leading to exhaustion and burnout. Until eventually the family is at breaking point.
“I saw my child closing down. She was using every element of herself to cope with getting through each day. Then eventually came a complete shutdown, the body and the mind can't do it anymore. And they are too unwell to do anything.”
Featuring:
Eliza Fricker (@_MissingTheMark)
Tom Vodden (@TVodden), teacher and trainer
Liz Soper (@ASeatAtTheTabl4), A Seat At The Table
Kieran Rose (@KieranRose7), The Autistic Advocate
Dr Chris Bagley (@hiddendepths), Director of Research at States of Mind
Resources:
Facebook MissingTheMark1
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Previous Episode
The Wrong Fit
The Wrong Fit
In episode 1 Eliza hears what it’s like to struggle to go to school and why getting a diagnosis of autism doesn’t always bring the support and understanding families need.
For children with autism, school can be an overwhelming and traumatic place. Sensory overload, the requirement to sit still for hours on end, can result in behaviour that’s misunderstood as naughty. Many children become too unwell to go to school, leading to fines and threats for prosecution for parents. Families can wait years for a diagnosis of autism, which promises to be the gateway to the help they need. Too often this isn’t the case, and the onus is on the child to be “fixed” to fit the system, not the system to support the child.
“My child wasn't broken, they didn't need to be fixed. Why were we trying to do this?”
Featuring:
Eliza Fricker (@_MissingTheMark)
Harry Thompson (@FidgetyF_cker), author of The PDA Paradox
Kieran Rose (@KieranRose7), The Autistic Advocate
Dr Naomi Fisher (@naomicfisher), author of Changing Our Minds
Dr Chris Bagley (@hiddendepths), Director of Research at States of Mind
Graham Brown-Martin (@GrahamBM), author of Learning Reimagined
Resources:
Facebook MissingTheMark1
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Next Episode
Finding Other Ways
Finding Other Ways
In episode 3 Eliza finds out what happens when you leave the school system, what recovery looks like, and what alternatives there are to mainstream education when you know you need something different.
For some children the consequences of trying to go to mainstream school is devastating, and the first step when they leave is healing. Eliza talks to mum of two autistic children, Lindsey, about slowly rebuilding their children’s wellbeing and capacity to grow. She discusses homeschooling, and “special schools”, and how interest-based learning is key. Eliza visits the Self Managed Learning Centre to find out about putting autonomy first as the basis for learning, and shares her journey to finding the perfect place to learn for her child.
“What if we reconceptualised “dropping out” of education as “dropping in” to a different kind of education because that’s what you need, and for that to be empowering.”
Featuring:
Eliza Fricker (@_MissingTheMark)
Harry Thompson (@FidgetyF_cker), author of The PDA Paradox
Kieran Rose (@KieranRose7), The Autistic Advocate
Dr Naomi Fisher (@naomicfisher), author of Changing Our Minds
Dr Chris Bagley (@hiddendepths), Director of Research at States of Mind
Dr Ian Cunningham, founder of the Self Managed Learning College
Resources:
Facebook MissingTheMark1
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/missing-the-mark-205080/a-bad-morning-21132742"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to a bad morning on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy