Missing Real with Mike D'Arrigo

As a seasoned horror fan who grew up reading Stephen King books, I've always tried to watch every single film adaptation ever made from his stories. Over the years the violence and gore quotient of the average horror movie increases relative to the tolerance of the viewer's stomach. Before this turns into a math and biology lesson, I just mean to say it takes a lot to scare or shock us these days, right? After all, once you run out of vampires, vengeful prom queens and rabid dogs, even the imagination of King gets stretched a little thin coming up with new frights to unleash upon us. The terrors in the two stories I talk about here are a bit far-out, leaning more toward science fiction than horror, and it doesn't help that they were both made for television in the early 1990s, where visual effects were barely learning to crawl and the screen was still a square! Now I'm getting into geometry, and that's not the topic here! The Tommyknockers and the Langoliers, whatever the heck those are, were not Stephen King's finest hour. They were, in fact, 8 hours of sitting in front of the idiot box (remember, television = commercial breaks every 15 minutes, get your calculators out...). You'd have to be a fairly hardcore King fanatic to have sat through these two miniseries, so let me dilute them down for everyone else. And, for those of you who don't like horror, don't worry. The only reason you should be afraid to watch these movies is because they kinda suck.

Considering this movie came out in 2001 (and was originally going to be made by the director of 2001!), the concept of Artificial Intelligence is now about as common as coffee in our everyday lives. Real intelligence, on the other hand, is still more of a science fiction fantasy than ever, and you won't find much of it in this podcast but don't let that stop you! This is a somewhat disjointed film, kind of what you'd expect when you try to mix Kubrick and Spielberg, but it's a dazzling and emotional odyssey (not a space one!) which I've got a lot to say about. A robot boy who wants to be "real" and be loved goes on a lonely adventure, with plenty of mushy drama courtesy of Spielberg. Hey, if Kubrick made it the kid would probably just talk to his finger and write "Redrum" on the wall. Join me for a podcastic voyage! It's better than going to the Flesh Fair! Trust me, that's not as thrilling as it sounds.

The third major theatrical Stephen King adaption by Frank Darabont (who did pretty well with Shawshank and Green Mile) doesn't take place in a prison, but it's still about a bunch of people who are trapped and any attempt to escape could be fatal! A strange mist rolls into town, and lurking within it are all sorts of icky monsters! Ordinary folks hiding in a supermarket can't deal with the horror (or each other) for very long and soon many of them are on their way to express check-out! King's short story was really scary, despite its piss-poor ending. Darabont fixes that here, and drops a whopper of a conclusion on us. Any first-time viewers are in for a shock, so if you "mist" this movie, watch it now! And by the way, it's not the same as The Fog. That's harder to see through. But awesome to watch!

If I ever got to meet Christopher Walken, I'd certainly tell him how much I love his films and erratic speech patterns. But, I'd be a little hesitant to shake his hand...'cause what if there was a sudden JOLT and he saw some terrifying future for me? Or envisioned a total breakdown of civilization all because of my stupid Missing Real podcast? I'm overreaching here, of course...we really just wanna focus on this fantastic David Cronenberg/Stephen King classic, The Dead Zone. Walken plays the boringly named John Smith, who can see the future or past secrets of people just by taking their hand. He's got a POW-wuh. But will it be a curse? Also in the movie is a live-wire Martin Sheen, as a political candidate you definitely do NOT want in the West Wing. Also in this podcast is my good buddy Dave Chan. And a couple of cats you won't hear much from. Actual CATS, not jazz musicians. But when you're talkin' like Walken, everything is improvised!

How many times have they tried bringing that bonkers science fiction epic Dune to the screen? Better question: why do I keep watching all of them? I'm still no closer to understanding what on Arrakis is going on. It's not very likely that this podcast is going to enlighten anyone as to what Frank Herbert was getting at, but that's okay! It's more fun than surfing on a giant worm, I promise. Together with my good friend Dave Chan, we chew the spice and discuss both David Lynch's 1984 disaster and Denis Villeneuve's 2021 update. None of it makes much sense, other than nonsense, but really...that's what you're here for, isn't it? Enjoy!