Messy and Masterful

A deep conversation about career choices, family life and health with professional negotiator and Headhunter Laurence Dewaele.

Aldo speaks with Laurence about her journey from being a lawyer at one of the top firms on the planet to becoming an expert in negotiation and Executive Search. Laurence speaks about the book she co-authored called ‘Eat Sleep Negotiate!’ together with Katia Tieleman. The Dutch version of this book will be available as of March 2024 and you can pre-order it here. https://www.lannoo.be/nl/eat-sleep-negotiate

Dr. Michael Vlerick presents a concrete 10 step plan on how to become a happier person! He emphasizes the need to develop good habits and discard bad habits, starting with small changes and being kind to ourselves. Living a healthy lifestyle, including getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising, is crucial for both physical and mental well-being. Meditation is also highlighted as a powerful tool for rewiring the brain and freeing ourselves from negative mental reactions and cravings. In this conversation, Michael Vlerick and Aldo de Pape discuss the final 10 steps to becoming happier. These steps include observing mental reactions without reacting, developing contentment and gratitude, engaging in flow activities, investing in social relationships, and not making happiness the direct goal. They emphasize the importance of training the mind to wander less and be more present, as well as the benefits of altruism and helping others. They also discuss the negative impact of mindless relaxation activities and the importance of focusing on the present moment. Takeaways

• Understand your genetic programming and the stick and carrot principle to achieve happiness.
• Develop good habits and discard bad habits, starting with small changes and being kind to yourself.
• Live a healthy lifestyle, including getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising, for both physical and mental well-being.
• Use meditation as a powerful tool to rewire the brain and free yourself from negative mental reactions and cravings. Observe mental reactions without reacting and extend this practice to daily life
• Develop contentment and gratitude for a deeply satisfying life
• Engage in flow activities instead of mindless relaxation
• Invest in social relationships and practice altruism
• Don't make happiness the direct goal, focus on equanimity, contentment, and loving interactions

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In this conversation, Aldo de Pape and Dr. Michael Vlerick discuss the simple recipe for happiness. They explore the three major elements of a happy life: equanimity, contentment, and the quality of social connections. They emphasize the importance of working on oneself and cultivating a new relationship with negative emotions. They also discuss the illusion of control and the illusion of self, highlighting the liberating potential of understanding these concepts. The conversation touches on the parallels between human consciousness and artificial intelligence. In this conversation, Dr. Michael Vlerick discusses the illusion of self and the liberating effect of dispelling this illusion. He explains how understanding the constant flow of experiences in life can free us from unnecessary suffering. Dr. Vlerick emphasizes the importance of equanimity, accepting what we cannot change, and cultivating contentment. He also highlights the profound impact of social connections on our wellbeing and happiness. The conversation concludes with a discussion on implementing practices to reprogram the brain and enhance happiness. Takeaways

• The three major elements of a happy life are equanimity, contentment, and the quality of social connections.
• Working on oneself and cultivating a new relationship with negative emotions can lead to greater happiness.
• The illusion of control and the illusion of self can contribute to unhappiness.
• Understanding the parallels between human consciousness and artificial intelligence can provide insights into the nature of the self. Understanding the illusion of self can lead to a more liberating and freeing experience of life.
• Equanimity, accepting what we cannot change, and cultivating contentment are key elements of happiness.
• Social connections play a crucial role in our wellbeing and happiness.
• Implementing practices to reprogram the brain can enhance happiness and improve overall wellbeing.

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In this conversation, Aldo and Dr. Michael Vlerick discuss the topic of happiness and how to train the brain for happiness. They explore the importance of remaining equanimous, developing contentment, and connecting with others in order to live a happy and meaningful life. They also delve into the practice of meditation and its benefits, including training attention, gaining insight into one's psychology, and developing a new relationship with thoughts and emotions. The conversation emphasizes the transformation of the experience of life through mindfulness and detachment from emotions. In this conversation, Michael and Aldo discuss the importance of meditation in training the brain for happiness. They explore different types of meditation, how to get started with meditation, and the benefits of cultivating positive states of mind. They introduce the Saber protocol as a tool for managing negative mental reactions and offer practical advice for implementing it in daily life. They emphasize the importance of practicing gratitude and cultivating contentment to enhance happiness.

Takeaways:

• Remaining equanimous, developing contentment, and connecting with others are important pillars for living a happy and meaningful life.
• Meditation is a practice that involves manipulating attention and can lead to a transformation of the experience of life.
• Through meditation, one can train attention, gain insight into their own psychology, and develop a new relationship with thoughts and emotions.
• Detachment from emotions allows for a greater appreciation of both positive and negative feelings, without clinging or craving for them to last.
• The quality of life is more determined by the attention one brings to the present moment than by external circumstances. Meditation is a powerful tool for training the brain and rewiring mental patterns.
• Different types of meditation, such as concentration, mindfulness, and cultivation meditation, offer various benefits for happiness and well-being.
• The Saber protocol (Stop, Accept, Bring attention, Examine, Release) can help manage negative mental reactions and promote emotional freedom.
• Practicing gratitude and cultivating contentment are essential for enhancing happiness.
• Training the brain for happiness requires daily practice and a commitment to observing and transforming negative mental reactions.

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In this conversation, Aldo and Michael discuss the importance of happiness in life and how it becomes more apparent when reflecting back on one's life. They explore the idea that everything we do is ultimately in pursuit of happiness, whether consciously or unconsciously. They also discuss the need to be more conscious of our actions and behaviors and how they contribute to our long-term happiness. The conversation touches on the role of mourning and the coexistence of happiness and sadness. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of living a life that encompasses all emotions and finding beauty and meaning in each experience.

Keywords: happiness, reflection, life, actions, behaviours, mourning, sadness, beauty, meaning

Takeaways

• Happiness is the currency of life and becomes more apparent when reflecting back on one's life.
• Everything we do, consciously or unconsciously, is in pursuit of happiness.
• Being conscious of our actions and behaviors can contribute to our long-term happiness.
• Mourning can coexist with happiness and bring beauty and meaning to life.

Sound Bites

• "I want you all to know that I was very happy."
• "Everything we do, everything we pursue in life, directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously, is to make us and other people happier."
• "We can radically transform our lives for the better, but it won't happen without a kind of conscious effort."

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Leading the Circular Fashion Revolution with Preworn: Get a 25% discount using the code MESSY25: https://bit.ly/49bEXlD

Cold Case Inc (use the code MESSY and get an exclusive 15% discount): https://bit.ly/3HN75PD

Connect with the Brands you love at Awin: https://bit.ly/3vzSvJ5

Find the Perfect Gardener on Care.com: https://bit.ly/4cLKcdZ

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Cake or Death: https://bit.ly/3J4tDfG

Kids Party Craft: https://bit.ly/4cFrULj

Bike Club: https://bit.ly/3xj7DuF

The Code Zone: https://bit.ly/3UlspmU