Media Savvy Moms

On your list of tricky topics to bring up with your kids, how high is sexting? Top 3? Top 10? Is it even there? If it's not, keep reading, and it’ll soon be number one. The combination of digital cameras, instant messaging, and the adolescent brain puts our kids at huge risk. The bullying begins. An intimate photo is blasted. The police are called in. Kids today need to know they have better options. They need to know that they can stand up to sexting.

Fortunately, there’s a phenomenal resource that takes this particular tricky topic and turns it into a fun—yes fun!—and incredibly comfortable conversation starter. It’s a book (or a guide, if you prefer). And it’s called Stand Up To Sexting: An Open Conversation for Parents & Kids.

We had the privilege of sitting down this week with the authors, Christy Monson and Heather Boynton. Christy’s a grandma to tweens, teens and beyond. Heather’s a mom to teens and younger. Both are professionals in the field of child development. And both have seen first hand the devastating effects that sexting is having on kids in our high schools, colleges, and in even our elementary schools. So, what did they do? They decided to act—TO STAND UP—and to do something about it.

With their combined experience and expertise they created a resource that allows families to: get past the awkward stage, foster better communication, and help change the trajectory of their kids’ experience with their digital devices.

Media Savvy Moms is a podcast by ParentsAware, an organization dedicated to helping parents talk to kids and teens about pornography and healthy sexuality.

Child sexual abuse. It’s a serious topic with no easy answers. It can hurt just thinking about it—no matter whose child it affects. So what are we to do? Do we close our eyes, try to think of happier thoughts, and wish for it to all go away? No! We do what we can do. We control what we can control. We teach children about body safety. We give them the best protective information we can.

No one knows how to do this better than Holly-ann Martin. She, with the help of her husband Roger, founded Safe4Kids, a Western Australia organization devoted to Abuse Prevention Training. Simply, they saw a need and went to work. With a background in education, Holly-ann has developed a host of incredible resources (see links below). Each is designed to help parents and teachers empower children with the necessary life skills to not only help protect from unwanted sexual touch (including exposure to pornography), but also teach children how to build and nurture respectful relationships.

If there’s one underlying message that we want you to get from this episode, it’s that you can do this! Talking to children about body safety can be comfortable, easy, and even fun! In fact, kids learn best when they’re having fun. As their parent, you’re the best person to take the lead on this. But don’t worry, you’re not alone. Holly-ann is here to guide you though. In this episode we discuss:

• What is the best age to start protective conversations
• Why kids need us to help them express themselves
• 3 fun and practical ways to teach body safety

And did we mention? ... she's been teaching and updating her curriculum for over 35 years!! So ya, she knows a thing or two!

Holly-ann Martin is the founder and Managing Director of Safe4Kids, a company specialising in child abuse prevention education. Through Safe4Kids, Holly-ann develops and distributes child protection education resources to parents, teachers and educators, and facilitates child protection education and training in Australia and overseas. With a background as a Teacher’s Assistant, Holly-ann is also a children’s author and public speaker. Holly-ann advocates for a holistic, community-based approach to child abuse prevention, educating the people in a child’s network about how to teach kids about body safety, empower them with knowledge, and ultimately keep them safe.

Media Savvy Moms is a podcast by ParentsAware, an organization dedicated to helping parents talk to kids and teens about pornography and healthy sexuality. For complete show notes, visit http://parentsaware.info/index.php/podcast/.

I hear a lot about human trafficking in the news. Of course I’m concerned. But what do I do about it? Does it really affect me ... or my children?

What if your daughter (or son) was being trafficked right under your nose? While she was still living close to home and seeing you several times a week? And you had no idea it was happening? Does this seem unrealistic? In fact, that’s precisely what happened to our guest.

We’re talking with Lynda Harlos, a mother who was caught in a nightmare. Her daughter was being trafficked for sex—without even realizing it. Now Lynda and her daughter, Samantha, are doing everything they can to educate others about this growing crisis.

Human trafficking isn’t something that just happens overseas. It doesn’t just happen to other people. It’s happening right here in our own communities. And it can happen to any family.

Often, when we hear about BIG issues like human trafficking we don’t know where to start or how to respond. What are the signs to look for? Can we protect our kids? Listen to a mom who has gone through it. She’s got the experience and practical advice to help us talk to our children. As parents, we are always the first line of defense. With knowledge we can make a difference.

[1:45] In our society, we learn about stereotypes associated with human trafficking and what it looks like, but those stereotypes are not always true!

[3:30] Did you know it is possible for a child to get into a human trafficking situation without realizing they are being trafficked? Traffickers are patient, sly, and manipulative. The grooming process can be incredibly subtle.

[4:45] Learn how traffickers use traumatic experiences and shame to groom their victims and alienate them from friends and family, then sweep in as the “good guy” to “save” them and make their dreams come true.

[7:44] It’s so important that we are aware of these nasty tricks so that we know how to fight back if our kids are being victimized. Love, love, love. Not shame! Lynda’s family didn’t give up. They kept reaching out to Samantha. They let her know she wasn’t alone. And that’s what eventually saved her.

[8:05] Would you be able to recognize the signs if you were face-to-face with a trafficker? Listen to what Lynda had to say about her interactions with the man who trafficked her daughter.

[10:33] Where is Samantha now? Learn how Lynda’s resilient daughter has moved on with her life after this tragedy and made it her mission to help educate others so that it doesn’t happen to them.

[11:27] We wondered how Samantha escaped from her trafficker. But her mother told us that she really didn’t even realize she was being trafficked until several years after she got away. In her mind, she had just “dropped her morals” and she always believed it was her fault. Think about that for a minute. And consider what that means. If we are trying to help someone who is being trafficked, they might not even realize they need help.

[12:45] Our relationships with our kids can be a lifeline. Sometimes just a few words from a parent can change a child’s life. Find out how a small moment with Samantha’s father changed her direction in the midst of her journey with human trafficking.

[14:50] Listen for great tips to help parents protect kids from human trafficking! Here are a few:

• Provide a lifeline that allows your kids to come back to you no matter what.
• Remember that it’s not just girls that are in danger—boys can be trafficked too!
• Watch out for specific red flags that might indicate your child is being trafficked.

[19:00] Do you know the warning signs of an abusive relationship? And when does abuse become trafficking? We need to teach our children to watch out for these signs.

[20:05] Be aware that victims of trafficking have been coerced, manipulated, and programmed with a lot of fear. They’ve been brainwashed to distrust those who truly love them. It can take a great deal of patience to break through to them and get them to talk. But ... it’s a lot more likely they will return to family if there was a strong relationship to begin with. Start by establishing open communication right now!

[21:55] There are a growing number of resources available to help victims of human trafficking. Many kids in trouble aren’t ready to go to family. But we can still help them find the resources they need. Our job is to create a safety net in any way we can. Some kids feel better talking to a complete stranger. The main goal is to get the kids at risk the help they need. (See our Links and Resources below.)

Tell your children yo...

We all know there are big bad corporations out there benefiting from sexual exploitation. But which ones are they? And which ones affect our families the most?

It’s a scary world. Right? But we can’t hide under a rock. Or put our kids in a bubble. It’s our job, as parents, to be informed about the dangers that surround our families—and to do something about them.

Join us for a chat with Jake Roberson, digital director at the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, as we take a peek at the Dirty Dozen List and discuss some great tools to take action!

Do you ever get the feeling that society views kids as troublemakers, and parents as the good guys? We need to be careful about stereotypes—and mindful of where we point fingers. A better approach is to consider how to establish a strong foundation that can help kids make great decisions now and in the future.

Yes, part of being a kid is to test the waters, to experiment, and to try new things. As we’ve said before, curiosity is what drives learning. But the truth is, there are tons of great kids out there. And they’re all looking for answers on how to navigate every aspect of life. They need—and crave!—guidance from parents and mentors who genuinely care about their health and well-being.

Digital devices tend to amplify our fears about teen attitude and risky behavior. No doubt! There are plenty of online dangers to be found. Never mind that the tech itself is inherently addictive. Left to navigate the crazy digital world on their own, will kids be ready?

Our guest, Brett Ullman, author of the book, Parenting: Navigating Everything, explains how you can connect with your kids, establish a strong relational foundation, and give them skills they need to thrive online and off.

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Media Savvy Moms is a podcast by ParentsAware, an organization dedicated to helping parents talk to kids and teens about pornography and healthy sexuality. For complete podcast notes, visit http://parentsaware.info/index.php/podcast/.