$Marvellous Hairy - a novel in five fractals - - MarvellousHairy 02$

MarvellousHairy 02

08/28/09 • 17 min

Marvellous Hairy - a novel in five fractals -

Part One -- The Cult of the ClawIn Episode Two (chapters 3, 4 & 5), we encounter security guards, more agents of the supernatural, and Nick gets up close and personal with the scientists of Gargantuan Enterprises.

Here’s an excerpt from this episode:

Several moments later, two men in white labcoats came in the room and peppered Nick with questions:

“So how often do you eat?” one asked — he did not introduce himself but Nick immediately thought of him as Doctor Flanksteak.

“Three squares a day, chief.”

“Good, and how many servings of fruit do you have per diem?”

“Well, if I’m feeling Latin, sometimes I’ll have a glass of orange juice, and occasionally an apple.”

“Fine. We just need to know,” the other scientist said, whom Nick thought of as Mr. Squeeze, Master of Constriction.

Dr. Flanksteak and Mr. Squeeze proceeded to ask him many questions, most of which Nick answered truthfully.

To the question: “Have you ever had a hallucination, vision or other psychotic episode,” Nick said, “No.”

They believed him, which just goes to show how good an actor Nick was, because at that very moment, the dreadful maw of the komodo dragon was superimposed over Dr. Flanksteak’s face.

Here’s an excerpt from this episode:

Several moments later, two men in white labcoats came in the room and peppered Nick with questions:

“So how often do you eat?” one asked — he did not introduce himself but Nick immediately thought of him as Doctor Flanksteak.

“Three squares a day, chief.”

“Good, and how many servings of fruit do you have per diem?”

“Well, if I’m feeling Latin, sometimes I’ll have a glass of orange juice, and occasionally an apple.”

“Fine. We just need to know,” the other scientist said, whom Nick thought of as Mr. Squeeze, Master of Constriction.

Dr. Flanksteak and Mr. Squeeze proceeded to ask him many questions, most of which Nick answered truthfully.

To the question: “Have you ever had a hallucination, vision or other psychotic episode,” Nick said, “No.”

They believed him, which just goes to show how good an actor Nick was, because at that very moment, the dreadful maw of the komodo dragon was superimposed over Dr. Flanksteak’s face.

Previous Episode

MarvellousHairy 01

"... methinks I am marvellous hairy about the face; and I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch."–A Midsummer Night's Dream, William ShakespearePart One: The Cult of the ClawIn chapter one, we learn about the Cult of the Claw, and why you never let psychotic psychiatrists perform your marriage ceremony. In chapter two, we discover why going to work on a Sunday can be a dangerous thing, especially if it involves either an inter-office romance or pig organs.

Next Episode

MarvellousHairy 03

Part One -- The Cult of the ClawIn Episode Three (chapters six, seven and eight), we are introduced to the bit players in the novel — Seedy, Spider, Blossom and Hippolyta, Ted Shute’s giant-booted emo daughter. The narrator, Rob explains what The Cult of the Claw is all about, and we learn what Nick is thinking as he writes his e-journal in his beloved Titania3000.

An excerpt from Nick’s journal:

In the lab they asked me questions. Deep questions and I hid the answers. Like I do every day, except with you, my lovely Titania3000!

Happily, the scientists decided to proceed. And they swabbed the lower end of my spine with Novocain, stinging, then numb. And in went a deep needle, fushed my fish, mealed my monkey, and deeper went the vile liquid that they wanted to test on me. It did no harm, except to say that now there is a large, swollen bump there, very near the base of my spine. It is tender. And red. Delicate like the prose in monkeyjoy!

It proceeds in another file, a digital brother to this record of my transformation. Who knows, perhaps someday it will be done and we can all have soup for our souls – and not just of the chicken noodle variety!

Mulligatawny ho!