Maybe We're All Just Horrible Ghouls: Amusement Park Disasters Part I

This week, a security guard deserves a raise, Busch Gardens leans into some horrifying PR, Brianne ventures into the underbelly of the internet for research, the phrase "funny hop" ruins our lives forever, a group of roller-coaster riders has the most terrifying few minutes imaginable, a New York school fails in every way possible, Brianne gets 7 year old street cred from the Brownie Girl Scouts, a fake Hasselhoff peaces out, The Mind Eraser makes good on its name, and a teenager says "Not today" to death.
SHOW NOTES
Content warnings:
Death by train, graphic descriptions of gore at 6:50-7:40 and 21:27-25:08, death by heart attack, ultimately false allegation of woman's breasts being groped, coma, paralysis, collision with debris on roller-coaster track, broken bones, negligence and death of a child 29:50-36:40, drowning, near-drowning, boat collision, brain injury with memory loss, death of adult by blunt force trauma to head in front of child, being thrown from a ride
Links:
An Investigation into the Drowning of Daniel Maracallo During the I.S. 166 Eight Grade Trip to Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom
Boat Slams Into Crowd During Water Skiing Show, Injuring 22
Boy's Death at Dorney 'Avoidable' Report Blasts Park, School
Busch Gardens rollercoaster, The Python, Closed for Routine Maintenance
Disneyland Ride Victim Loses Lawsuit: Jury Rules Against Man Injured in Space Mountain Accident
Disneyland’s Space Mountain Ride Has a Dark Side Only Few People See
Grad Nites at Disneyland
Husband Killed And Wife Disfigured By Disney's Sailing Ship Columbia
List of incidents at Disneyland Resort
Loch Ness Monster Hits Tree, 5 Injured
Loch Ness Monster's Thrills Back on Track
Python
Teen Leaps Off Shockwave Roller Coaster
The 10 Strangest Lawsuits Brought Against Disney Theme Parks
The Truth Behind "Tower Johnny"
Three-Minute Shorts: A Collection of Really Short Stories by John Nieman
Walt Disney World's Monorail Accidents and Mishaps
When Brain Trauma Is at the Other End Of the Thrill Ride