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Bleeding, Injured and Still Trying to Breastfeed: How Binta was Made to Feel Like a Terrible Mom

Mama, I Hear You

10/25/22 • 28 min

A lot of moms struggle with breastfeeding. It can be really hard. But this week’s guest, Binta’s struggles to breastfeed and the pressure to give her baby her breast milk have been amplified to such a degree that she is willing to hurt herself repeatedly just to get breast milk without blood.

Binta breastfed her first baby for nearly two years, but when it came to her second, she faced immense pain and difficulty every time she tried. Binta wanted to feel like she was trying everything possible to give her baby breast milk. She kept going despite experiencing bleeding and pain because, everywhere she turned, she received the message that she was failing as a mom if she had to supplement with formula.

In the final episode of season 1, Binta shares the issues she has faced with breastfeeding, pumping, and the excruciating lengths she has been going to in attempts to breastfeed her baby. Hear the pain and injuries she has faced as a result, the shocking responses she has received from healthcare professionals that have made her feel like a terrible mom, and the shame and guilt that she continues to feel around having to feed her baby with formula.

“They made me feel like you must breastfeed, there is no other solution. They focused on the benefits of breastfeeding your baby and why it is more important than even your own health, how you are feeling, or the pain you are going through.” - Binta

In This Episode:

Hear the question Binta really doesn’t like to get asked and why she is so weary and afraid of it.

Binta shares the two biggest emotions that come up for her when she has to supplement with formula.

Find out how Binta believes moms who are unable to breastfeed should be treated.

The shame, blame, and guilt that can come with being unable to breastfeed your child.

Binta shares the advice she would give her daughter if she were in this situation.

Find out about the way Binta has been treated by healthcare professionals when trying to breastfeed.

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Jamie:

The Rainbow Family: When Your Child Has an Imaginary Mom That is Way Cooler Than You with Katlynn

Mama, I Hear You

09/27/22 • 17 min

We all recall the beginning of COVID when everyone was being told to isolate at home with their families, and this is exactly where this week’s story begins. This week’s story is about a 3-and-a-half-year-old named Norah and her imaginary rainbow family. At the start of the pandemic, Katlynn was heavily pregnant with her third child, and they were forced to stay totally isolated as a family for quite a while. Two months into quarantine, Norah calls for a family dinner and has an announcement: she isn’t part of this family, she is part of her rainbow family, the one that lives in the clouds.

Norah’s rainbow family was always on some amazing adventure that was way cooler than what Katlynn’s family was doing in their daily lives. The rainbow family helped Norah navigate periods of isolation at the beginning of COVID and even death as COVID got worse. The rainbow family was super cool and eventually, her rainbow family became a leverage tool she tried to use with her actual human mom. In this episode, hear more about Norah’s rainbow family and how Katlynn managed this imaginary family her daughter had created. Learn how the rainbow family progressed over the years, how the real family dealt with it, and where Norah is now with regard to her rainbow family.

“We thought this was probably just her way of coping with being in lockdown. Her rainbow family sounded like everything we did as a family before COVID, so we figured this must just be her way of coping.” - Katlynn

In This Episode:

Find out why it became so hard for Katlynn and her family to compete with the rainbow family.

Hear the struggles Katlynn faced as she navigated helping her children cope with a pandemic that affected everyone.

Katlynn shares how Norah’s rainbow family taught her to navigate and process death.

Even after COVID, the rainbow family stuck around. Here’s how it changed...

Learn how to use Katlynn’s experience of a rainbow family if your child has an imaginary world.

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Katlynn:

Podcast

Connect with Jamie:

Raising a Thief by Paul Gregory Podolsky

When Your Mom Supports Putin and the Russian Invasion of Ukraine: Marina’s Story

Mama, I Hear You

09/13/22 • 34 min

In last week’s episode, we heard from Kateryna and her experience of having to flee her home with her family as a result of the Russian invasion of Ukraine. But this week we’re hearing a different perspective of the war from Marina, whose Mom is steadfast in her faithfulness to the former Soviet Union and now Russian leadership. Marina and her mom are on complete opposite ends with regard to the war, as while Marina vehemently opposes the war and has questioned the communist regime since a little girl, her mom fully supports it and continues to do so. With Russia invading Ukraine, what used to be an underlying source of tension in the relationship has been brought to the forefront.

Marina was born in Russia, but got married and moved to the U.S. in her 20s, while her 92-year-old mom still lives in Moscow. In this episode, hear more about Marina’s experience of navigating a relationship with her mom who remains proud of and loyal to the Russian leadership. Marina shares invaluable insight into the generational trauma that has changed the views and attitudes of Russian people and helps us understand how people just like her mom have been conditioned since childhood to respond positively to Putin. Learn more about how people have been categorized into “us” versus “them” by the Russian regime, how people are entrenched in Russian state propaganda, and why Marina fears she may never see her 92-year-old mom again.

“My mom has a very black and white picture. Putin is right and everybody is wrong. She trusts Russian television and that’s the end of discussion.There are certain things that you cannot compromise on, and my disagreement with my mom on the subject of war is one of them.” - Marina

In This Episode:

Marina shares more about Russian culture and history and how it’s impacted life in Russia today.

Discover what generational trauma is and how it completely changes the views and opinions of its victims.

Even though she has a sister in Ukraine, Marina’s mom STILL thinks that Ukrainians deserve to be bombed. Here’s why...

Marina shares the moment she really started to question the Soviet leadership.

Marina has never fully shared her true self with her mom, and hides so much of her life. This is the reason...

Learn more about the fascism, censorship, and oppression that exists in Russia today.

Marina tries to share facts with her mom to broaden her mind from Russian propaganda, but her mom won’t listen. This is why...

In Russia, the communist regime message is perpetuated and instilled from childhood. Here’s how they do it...

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Resources:

My Mother-in-Law Believes Putin on the War in Ukraine by Paul Podolsky

Connect with Jamie:

The Atrocity of War in Ukraine: A Ukrainian Mother’s Story

Mama, I Hear You

08/23/22 • 62 min

What does it feel like to wake up to the sounds of war? We are all aware of the devastating impacts of the war in Ukraine, and in this week’s episode, you will hear a first-hand account of what it is really like living in a war-stricken country and having to leave your home and life as you know it as a result. In a matter of days, Kateryna went from living her normal life with her husband and two little girls, 6 months old and 2 years old, to finding herself in the center of a warzone where bombing raids were happening all around her and her family.

In this episode, you will follow Kateryna and her family as they flee Chernihiv, Ukraine, to the remote part of Ukraine where she is recording this conversation. Right now, Kateryna and her family are living in survival mode in every sense of the word, and have been for the last six months. Discover how she tried to provide support and comfort for her children when the war first began, and how Ukrainians banded together in this close, familial way to support each other throughout the war.

You will also hear how she navigates relationships with people very close to her who live in Russia, what she would say if she had the opportunity to speak to the mother of a Russian soldier, and get an update on her life now, six months after the war began.

“Every time you leave home, you don’t know if you’re coming back. Every time you’re back home, you don’t know for how long you can stay. You are never safe. . . I don’t associate myself as a person who lost her home. We just want to go home and for this all to be over.” - Kateryna

In This Episode:

Kateryna shares the most chilling moment she has ever experienced in her life.

Hear Kateryna’s experience of having to leave her home and everything she knew to flee to the unknown.

One of the hardest things Kateryna has found about the war.

Find out how Russia's propaganda caused confusion about the invasion of Ukraine for her family that lives in Russia.

Kateryna shares the moment she realized this war was going to be worse than she had previously thought.

Kateryna believes that every Russian soldier has a choice. Here’s why...

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Kateryna:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100078936401023

Connect with Jamie:

Having a Baby at the Start of COVID in New York City: Rebecca’s Story

Mama, I Hear You

08/09/22 • 31 min

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but what happens when you have a child and don’t get that village? What happens when you have your baby right at the beginning of a global pandemic and have zero access to any of the support networks or communities you had expected to access? This is exactly what happened to this week’s guest, Rebecca De Ornelas.

The early days of COVID and the pandemic affected so many people in so many different ways, and Rebecca is here this week to share her incredible story of having a baby right at the beginning of the COVID pandemic in New York City. From her husband getting sick right after leaving the hospital and having to isolate, leaving Rebecca to care for her newborn baby alone, to Zoom lactation consultants unable to address her struggles with breastfeeding—Rebecca’s experience of being a new mom was nothing like she expected. In this episode, you’ll hear the very relatable struggles of two full-time remote working parents juggling a newborn without any help, what it was really like having a newborn baby in lockdown, and the one thing Rebecca wishes she had heard in the early days and thinks all of us moms need to hear a lot more often.

“You're telling me I can have it all, at the detriment of my mental and physical health for me to try and have it all. . . I was going to be a working mom and I was going to have to do everything at a hundred percent. A hundred percent committed to my job, a hundred percent committed to my motherhood and a hundred percent committed to keeping my child and my family safe in a pandemic.” - Rebecca

In This Episode:

Zoom burnout is real. Here’s how it affected Rebecca’s experience of being a mom to a newborn...

Rebecca shares her experience of trying to breastfeed while experiencing issues during a lockdown.

Discover how the pandemic changed the trajectory of Rebecca’s life.

When she was pregnant, Rebecca dreamed of having a group of mom friends around her. Instead, this was her reality...

Learn how she and her husband maintained their marriage with a newborn during the pandemic.

Hear Rebecca’s experience of trying to operate as the person she was pre-motherhood and pre-pandemic and do it all.

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Rebecca:

Facebook

Connect with Jamie:

Instagram @MamaIHearYou

Motherhood Stories From Around the World - EYE MAMA PROJECT: Connecting Us To Our Humanity

Mama, I Hear You

07/27/22 • 42 min

If we don’t share our stories, how do we truly empathize with others? If we don’t share our stories, how can we see the many different stories of motherhood that are taking place in the world? As mamas, sharing our stories and experiences can have a profound effect on the lives of others, and this week’s guest is doing phenomenal work empowering mamas all around the world.

Karni Arieli is a mother of two boys, a filmmaker, and a photographer, and ever since she was a little girl, she has used her camera to tell stories. She is the founder of the Eye Mama Project, a project that empowers moms all across the world to share their authentic experiences of motherhood and brings visibility to the real-life struggles faced by so many. The Eye Mama Project is a curation of thousands of photos of real-life motherhood, featuring contributions from more than 40 countries. Through this project, Karni has created a network of empowered mamas who are sharing their stories from all over the world.

In this episode, you’ll hear more about the Eye Mama Project, the reason Karni created it, and the incredible impact the project has already had on the lives of thousands of mamas. Eye Mama Project is not about motherhood; it’s about humanity. Karni shares how she envisions the project impacting future generations, her goals for the Eye Mama Project, and how the project brings visibility to motherhood and connects us back to our humanity.

“There are millions of versions of motherhood. There isn’t just one way of telling the story. If you can envision yourself in someone’s skin, then you can care. You can be motivated into action.” - Karni

In This Episode:

Karni shares how Eye Mama empowers mamas across the world to share their stories and why doing so is so powerful.

This is why it is SO important to show up as your full, authentic self and why doing so is one of the most powerful things you can do as a mama...

Karni’s work has showcased the lives of women in countries such as Ukraine and Russia. Here’s the effect it has had...

Hear Karni’s experience of being a working mom, her beliefs around it, and how sharing stories of it can help other women feel less alone in their struggles.

Karni believes the Eye Mama Project has made her become a better person, here’s why...

Find out why Karni believes it is so important to share images of motherhood from various cultures and countries around the world.

Learn what the ‘mama gaze’ is and why it’s so important.

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Karni:

National Geographic Article

Connect with Jamie:

Instagram @MamaIHearYou

- Pregnancy Loss Support Organizations

Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Pregnancy Loss: Alexis’ Story

Mama, I Hear You

07/27/22 • 29 min

This week’s episode comes with a trigger warning: This episode is all about miscarriages and stillbirth, which I know can be distressing for many. If you need support or would like some resources, we’ve collected some here for you which can be found below in the resources section.

As moms, miscarriage and pregnancy loss are undoubtedly some of the most painful things we can experience, something this week’s guest knows all too well. At 12 weeks pregnant, aged just Sweet 16, Alexis suffered her first miscarriage. Some years later, bereft and with a lack of support from her family, she decided to try again for a baby with her husband. Alexis suffered two more tragic losses before finally becoming a mama to her beautiful daughter, something she feared would never happen.

One of the things that helped Alexis cope was hearing other people’s stories—no matter how early or late their losses were—and she joins me this week to share her story in the hopes it might help other moms feel less alone in their experiences. She talks more about her experiences with miscarriage, stillbirth, and pregnancy loss, and shares where she found the strength to cope. Hear what she found the hardest about losing her babies and what she would say to any mom going through a pregnancy loss.

“No matter how early or how late the loss is, it’s still a loss. Like, your feelings matter.” - Alexis

In This Episode:

People don’t talk about pregnancy loss enough. This is why they should...

Hear how Alexis’ family treated her differently after her pregnancy and miscarriage.

Find out how Alexis wishes the hospital had communicated more clearly with her.

Alexis’ mom reacted differently to her losing her 2nd baby than she did with her first miscarriage. Here’s how she reacted...

Find out why Alexis didn’t feel supported by her family when coming to terms with her loss.

There was one question Alexis kept asking herself after her losses. Here’s what it is...

Alexis shares her experience of trying again for a baby after experiencing loss.

You will be reassured that your pain is valid around any loss you experience, no matter how early it was in the pregnancy.

Important resources for this episode:

- Miscarriage and Infant Loss

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Jamie:

Instagram @MamaIHearYou

My Fertility Journey : Jennifer’s Story

Mama, I Hear You

07/27/22 • 32 min

There is so much joy that comes with having children, but for some mamas, the journey to motherhood isn’t always an easy ride. At 19, Jennifer got married to her high school sweetheart and they were so excited to start trying to have a family right away. A few weeks into the process, Jennifer received the news that if she wanted to have children, she would need to see a fertility specialist right away, and this was the beginning of what would be a journey of more than six years of trying to have a baby. After years of fertility treatment, a hysterectomy, and a failed adoption, Jennifer was finally able to fulfill her dream of becoming a mama.

In this week’s episode, Jennifer shares her experience of trying for so long to have a family and the mental, emotional, and physical toll the entire process took on her and her husband. Hear the extents that Jennifer and her husband have gone to in order to have a family, how they held onto their dream of one day having a family, and what their life is like now that they have the family they longed for.

“Keep your eye focused on the prize and you will get there. If you’re determined to have kids, you’ll get to have them somehow—it might just be different.” - Jennifer

In This Episode:

This is what Jennifer wants you to know if you are trying for a baby...

Find out one of the hardest parts of the foster-to-adopt placements for Jennifer and her husband, and why they didn’t want to try it for a second time.

Jennifer shares some of the letdowns they had along their journey of trying to have a family.

Learn more about the IVF process and the various issues Jennifer and her husband faced during this process.

Some of Jennifer’s family and friends didn’t help ease Jennifer’s concerns about bonding with her child. Here’s what happened...

Jennifer wouldn’t have a child if it wasn’t for one incredibly generous person. Find out who...

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Jamie:

Instagram @MamaIHearYou

Shifting Perspectives: How Megan Learned to Cope with Raising a Neurodivergent Child

Mama, I Hear You

07/26/22 • 36 min

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to raise a neurodivergent child with regular big, intense emotional outbursts? Megan is an elementary school teacher and mother of three and has a son who is neurodivergent. Starting at age one and for several years after, things were really tough with her son. He would have multiple outbursts a day because something was dysregulated inside of him. Megan tried all the parenting tips, tricks, and strategies to help her son manage his emotions, but no matter what she tried, she just couldn’t figure out how to make it better. Filled with emotions like anger, guilt, and isolation, she began to doubt her ability as a mom and even began to wonder if her son would be better off with another mom who could deal with him better. But then something happened that completely changed everything for Megan and her family.

Today’s episode is a little bit different, and instead of a story, we’re focusing on how it feels for a mom raising a neurodivergent kid. Megan shares her experiences and the feelings of anger, shame, and doubt she’s experienced as a mom, her advice to anybody struggling with coping, and her number one tip to help you get to inner peace when parenting a neurodivergent child. She’s also sharing more about the support community she’s created, Mothers Together, and how it benefits other moms and collectively helps parents of neurodivergent children.

“When it comes to parenting, there is no secret sauce. There are no parenting styles that work for everyone, and every mom has to carve out her own path.” - Megan

In This Episode:

Learn more about what neurodivergence is and how it might show up in your child’s behavior.

Megan gives an example of one of her son’s meltdowns.

Find out why Megan truly believes every mom should have a support system that understands exactly what they’re going through.

Hear the reasons Megan felt so isolated when dealing with her son’s outbursts and meltdowns.

This is what happened when Megan tried the positive parenting approach, and why she won’t be trying it again...

Megan finally figured out what worked in terms of parenting her son and limiting his meltdowns. Here’s how she did it...

Hear more about how Megan’s relationship with her son has changed over the last few years.

If you are raising a neurodiverse child and want to create some friendships with people who can relate, Megan has built a support group community, Mothers Together. To celebrate the launch of this podcast, she’ll be giving away 2 months’ membership to the community. Click here to find out more.

If you want to connect with fellow moms or simply want to share your personal journey as a mom, connect with us here: https://mamaihearyou.com/

Connect with Megan:

Mothers Together

Connect with Jamie:

Instagram @MamaIHearYou