Love Life And Lose Weight

Human beings have the unique ability to think, feel, take action, and listen intentionally by using the prefrontal cortex part of our brain rather than do all of those things automatically or reactively.
Being curious and aware of 'how' you listen to and then interpret what you hear can completely change how you see yourself and how you view and understand others.

Without intentional listening, our past experiences and expectations will always be filtering and shaping the way we interpret what we hear in our self talk and what we hear from others. This can be a significant obstacle in weight loss, as our automatic, habitual thoughts and beliefs about food and our behaviors can prevent us from making meaningful changes. [00:15:17]

By actively listening and questioning our beliefs, we can gain a deeper understanding of the underlying issues driving our behaviors, such as overeating. [00:19:51]

Intentional listening means developing the habit of not believing everything our brain tells us. Considering alternative perspectives, separating facts from our automatic interpretations and then choosing the meaning we want to give to our experiences is a powerful tool for breaking free from unhelpful patterns and creating lasting change. [00:19:59]

If we want to work on active listening, it's important to balance those efforts with regular periods of mental rest like meditation daily or even serveral times a day. [00:30:51]
Intentional listening is a great way to reclaim your life, your beliefs, and your perspective of yourself and others as your own. To be truly free requires listening actively, using discernment, and then choosing what to think in response in a way that that serves you and the person you want to be. [00:34:12]

Coach Homework assignment:
1. Has there ever been a time in your life when you thought what you heard was a wrong interpretation and that had big consequences?
2. Has there ever been a time in your life when someone misunderstood what you were trying to say and that had consequences? [00:34:46]

Deeply listening to other people without your own agenda or old beliefs filtering what you hear can give you a deeper. truer understanding of yourself and why you do what you do. Once you are aware of your behaviors, you have a shot at being able to change them. Active or intentional listening can give you that, and it's something you can work at every day in little ways with your self-talk and how you communicate with the important people in your life. [00:36:18]

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In this episode, I explain how to translate the top eight negative emotions to learn what might be needed. The emotions listed below are the top eight negative emotions that we often eat over. If you are in a place of wanting to move beyond reacting to them, resisting them, or avoiding them, this episode is for you!
For any negative emotions we experience, we can take 100% responsibility for them by how we have chosen to think about the world and what's happening that created them. When we do that, we create a space of intentionality and agency over our lives, even when it feels hard.
Coach Homework: Identify 1-3 of the most commonly felt negative emotions listed below for you. Using the translation below, explore in your journaling whether there is a message from your particular negative emotional experience that is trying to get your attention about what is needed.

1. Anger is trying to tell you what you're passionate about, where your boundaries and values are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.
2. Disappointment is trying to tell you that you tried for something, that you did not give in to apathy, and that you still care.
3. Anxiety is trying to tell you that you need to wake up to the truth of how life is right now, that you're stuck in the past and living in fear of the future.
4. Bitterness is trying to tell you about what needs healing and where you're still holding judgment of others and/or yourself.
5. Resentment is trying to tell you where you're arguing for things to be different, living in the past, and not allowing the present to be as it is.
6. Guilt is trying to tell you that you're living life from other people's or external expectations of what you should do.
7. Discomfort is trying to tell you that you need to pay attention right now to what is happening because you're being given the opportunity to change, to do something different than what is typical for you.
8. Sadness is trying to tell you the depth of your feelings and care for others and/or the world.

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Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

I generally use about six different levels to troubleshoot weight loss with my clients. I give you an overview here so you can use the same approach for yourself.
Level 1: Commit to regular weigh-ins (or data gathering (like taking measurements or gathering habit data) on the same day of the week, weekly.
Level 2: Look at the frequency of overeats. How many times over the past seven days did you overeat? Are you aware of the cumulative overeats? Do you need to work on that awareness?
Level 3: How many times did you eat food that was not on your plan? If more than twice a week, then make sure you plan those foods the following week.
Level 4: Look at your data for water and sleep. Ensure you get a minimum of 64 oz of water and about 7 hours of sleep.
Level 5: Do a detailed food review. We look at the data for exactly what was eaten over the last seven days. I look for evidence my client might need to adapt to eating slightly less to accommodate their new body weight, especially if they have been losing and their body is adapting to needing fewer calories because they weigh less. I also look for snacking when not hungry as a common culprit that interrupts weight loss.
Level 6: If my client still feels like overall weight loss is not working. To check to see if that perception is true; we do a year’s worth of weigh-in data. Doing this will highlight your weight loss and weight gain patterns through different parts of your year. This will show you a more nuanced story about where weight loss typically happens and when so you can understand WHY. This allows you to troubleshoot in a targeted way to get the momentum you are looking for.
Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram on the episode 34 reel and comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

Join the VIP subscriber list to be the first to learn about my upcoming book release.

Support the show

🎁 Become a VIP Subscriber at HBeardsley.com/subscribe
Get two free gifts, subscriber-only tips, and an exclusive VIP discount on my digital Follow-Through Planner.

🛠️ This planner is the perfect tool to help you build the healthy habits your bones—and your future self—will thank you for.
Check it out here: HBeardsley.com/planner

📲 Connect with me on Instagram @ThriveInMidlife and join the conversation under this Episode's reel.

Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

Eating when you are tired (but not physically hungry) is a habit that will get in the way of weight loss. Why do we push past tiredness and eat instead when we know it works against us in weight loss?
The habit of pushing past tired can be created for many reasons:
1. Wanting to take back time for yourself when you have a lifestyle of never scheduling that during waking hours, so you eat to stay up and reward yourself.'
2. Wanting to get more done or believing you HAVE to get more done even if you are tired.
3. A lifestyle of chronically driving yourself past your upper limits of being physically, mentally, or emotionally tired that triggers your nervous system to find relief through food.
There are lots of other reasons too that you can explore for yourself. Here are some ideas for how to help yourself change this habit:
1. Deliberately schedule 'me time' daily that is designed to spend time on things you WANT to do. Then practice keeping your word to establish a sense of safety and self-trust.
2. Take visual breaks from the computer.
3. Take regular physical breaks from hard physical work or workouts.
4. Take breaks from intense social stimulation and structure these events deliberately in planning your day so that you don't get wired and tired.
Journaling on your thoughts regularly to get emotional rest and perspective on your thinking.
5. Get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep, more if you are a Big 'S' sleeper.
6. Become someone who practices protective self-care to guard against feeling too tired with how you manage your life.
The big takeaway is that a body that is chronically tired is not going to feel safe enough to allow you to lose weight optimally. Getting your sleep/rest needs met is part of your responsibility in your weight loss journey.
Coach Homework: Write a letter to future you who is feeling tempted to eat when she is tired. What does she need to hear in that moment that she is too tired to remember? Read it to yourself in those moments when it feels hard to choose not to eat.
Bottom line takeaway: You have NEEDS for rest, and in order to have a chance of stopping your habit of pushing past tired (but not hungry) with food, you will need to start observing what your upper limits are for rest (physical, emotional, and mental) and then get to work meeting those needs by experimenting and trying new things.

Book Recommendation: Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Amelia Nagoski, et al.Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram on the episode 32 post and comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

Support the show

🎁 Become a VIP Subscriber at HBeardsley.com/subscribe
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🛠️ This planner is the perfect tool to help you build the healthy habits your bones—and your future self—will thank you for.
Check it out here: HBeardsley.com/planner

📲 Connect with me on Instagram @ThriveInMidlife and join the conversation under this Episode's reel.

Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

Weight loss is not a goal to task yourself with in order to get yourself to do what you don't want to do. It will be much easier to attach your weight goal to a vivid and compelling version of you who has normalized her relationship with food.
In order to embrace this new version of yourself and start, it can help to say goodbye to the previous version of you so you can step into this new relationship.
Homework: Write a goodbye letter to past you.
Start with gratitude. Validate that version of you and all she went through. Thank her for all that she did, all of her efforts, all of her feelings, and how she continued to show up.
Then tell her how you are different now. Note all of the ways you can think of. Then say goodbye. Tell her that you need to focus on the future and all you now know.
We will ALWAYS create our weight results as a reflection of how we see ourselves (self-identity). So if you want to take your weight loss to the next level, you must start seeing yourself differently to support those changes.
Answer the following journaling prompts to help you flesh out how you start to see yourself when you focus on acting from the future you who has lost the weight.
The Day One journaling App - has a speech-to-text feature.
25:14 Future- Self Journaling Prompts:

1. How will I feel when I am at goal weight? (One word that describes a feeling)
2. What are 5 ways that I can create that feeling for myself now?
3. What does future me know that I haven't figured out yet?
4. How does future me at goal weight go about her day differently? Be specific and list as many different things as you can think of.
5. What is exciting about the future at goal weight? What will be the same?
6. What does my future self need to do for weight loss that I'm not currently doing? –—–What is the key first step that is doable to create this in my life now?
7. What does my future self need to STOP doing in order to lose weight I am still currently doing?
8. What is the key first step that is doable to create this in my life now?
9. How will I know when I am my future self goal weight/range?
10. If I had a magic wand to bring me the future I want immediately, what would I regret not having learned for myself that I know I want to figure out?
11. What will moving into my future self cost me?
12. What is the cost of staying where I am?
13. What will I choose to say goodbye to when I decide to become my future self fully?
14. What will I choose to make room for when I become my future self?
15. What are three words to describe the past year and why?
16. If I could travel back to the beginning of the year last year, what advice would I give myself that last year was going to teach me?
17. What is the status of the goals I set last year (use data to form your conclusion), and what goals do I want to set for the year going forward?

Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram on the episode

Support the show

🎁 Become a VIP Subscriber at HBeardsley.com/subscribe
Get two free gifts, subscriber-only tips, and an exclusive VIP discount on my digital Follow-Through Planner.

🛠️ This planner is the perfect tool to help you build the healthy habits your bones—and your future self—will thank you for.
Check it out here: HBeardsley.com/planner

📲 Connect with me on Instagram @ThriveInMidlife and join the conversation under this Episode's reel.

Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.