Love is not dead Just my husband! Widow Your Way with Rebecca Johnson

When we lose someone that has been a major part of our lives, we may struggle with who we are without them. How can we let our identity become so wrapped up in someone or something that we forget who we actually are. We are more than just a spouse, a sibling, a child, parent, or a friend. How do we redefine who we are and rediscover this new version of ourselves?
I have discovered that my identity crisis didn't come from becoming a widow. It was the death of my husband that has forced me to discover who I am. I always thought I was easy going, friendly, and thoughtful. I never realized how complaisant I was and never making any decisions for myself. It was always to appease my husband because keeping him happy seemed to be more important than my own happiness. I am discovering a more confident and independent version of me. I still struggle with this new version of myself, and the path of self-love is not easy, but the good thing is that love is not dead, just my husband.

Please subscribe to my podcast to continue this journey with me.
You can connect with me on through social media. I love hearing from listeners. Send me a private message.
https://www.instagram.com/loveisnotdead_justmyhusband/
https://www.facebook.com/loveisnotdeadjustmyhusband
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Widow Your Way - Love is not dead, Just my husband
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This episode was recorded on a whim right after my dog Vegas went missing!
I have 2 dogs but these are not my pets by choice. Vegas an Old English Bulldog and Caroline a Pit Bull. Tom and I agreed that we would not have any more pets so we can have more freedom, but he broke that promise. He disguised Vegas as a birthday gift for me, but I called bullshit! As much as I tried there was no way I could resist his cuteness and puppy kisses. Everyone loved him and he soon became very spoiled.

Then came Caroline, a broken discount puppy from my brother to Tom. Against every fiber in my being, I took this puppy home and somehow, I became her person.
Of course, I was the one stuck with the responsibility of taking care of these dogs before and after Tom died. I didn't want any more pets. It was like having children all over again and I didn't want the responsibility and commitment to took to be a pet owner.

With the thought of losing Vegas came a lot of guilt. Guilt because these were Tom’s dogs and ever since he died, I felt like I was stuck with them. As much as I loved them, I also resented them but after this night I am grateful for the gifts that were given to me. These dogs have sat at my side while I have cried and given me comfort. They have slept by my bedside when I’ve been sick. They have been someone to talk to on my loneliest days. They show me unconditional love I am always greeted with a wagging tail. What felt like more like an obligation has now been replaced with gratitude.

Tell me something you have been left the responsibility of caring for after your loved one passed away? Do you feel resentment like it’s a burden or do you feel grateful that you have it?

Please subscribe to my podcast to continue this journey with me.
You can connect with me on through social media. I love hearing from listeners. Send me a private message.
https://www.instagram.com/loveisnotdead_justmyhusband/
https://www.facebook.com/loveisnotdeadjustmyhusband
And if you are a widow looking to widow your own way while rewriting your happily ever after, please join my Private Facebook Group:
Widow Your Way - Love is not dead, Just my husband
You can now support me with Buy Me A Coffee! Coffee is my love language ❤️

It’s ironic that as I’m trying to tell my story of how I learned to widow my own way and I am finding that I am experiencing a lot of the same moments now, almost 5 years later. Like, something is going to continue to happen over and over until I have actually learned my lesson.
In today's episode I talk about being alone versus being lonely. This is something I have really been struggling with since Tom died but if I’m honest it’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life. I have always felt alone! Like no one was really there for me... specifically for me.

Everyone talks about how empowering it is to be alone and do things alone. And it is. There is definitely something to overcome in that. I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job so far being alone. But you don’t have to turn into a recluse and be 100% alone all the time to be on that journey! I also don’t think learning to be alone is the cure all for loneliness. At least not for me.

Please subscribe to my podcast to continue this journey with me.
You can connect with me on through social media. I love hearing from listeners. Send me a private message.
https://www.instagram.com/loveisnotdead_justmyhusband/
https://www.facebook.com/loveisnotdeadjustmyhusband
And if you are a widow looking to widow your own way while rewriting your happily ever after, please join my Private Facebook Group:
Widow Your Way - Love is not dead, Just my husband
You can now support me with Buy Me A Coffee! Coffee is my love language ❤️

Do you ever want to give a big F***K You to your spouse for dying? Do you ever feel guilty for saying bad things about your dead spouse?
I hate that being a widow is so romanticized and I fell into that trap by idolizing my husband because you shouldn't speak ill of the dead. I don't want to disrespect my husband in any way but this is my story! And the only way for me to widow my own way is to acknowledge the anger I have towards Tom for dying and for the things that happened just before. This wasn't even something I thought I would ever talk about but the time seems right now.
If I don't make peace with this it is going to be much harder to find a new happily ever ever. Because after all, love is not dead, just my husband.

Please subscribe to my podcast to continue this journey with me.
You can connect with me on through social media. I love hearing from listeners. Send me a private message.
https://www.instagram.com/loveisnotdead_justmyhusband/
https://www.facebook.com/loveisnotdeadjustmyhusband
And if you are a widow looking to widow your own way while rewriting your happily ever after, please join my Private Facebook Group:
Widow Your Way - Love is not dead, Just my husband
You can now support me with Buy Me A Coffee! Coffee is my love language ❤️

Want to know a dirty little secret? Some widows are actually happier after the loss of their spouse! I am one of those widows!
I am a widow that is actually living happier after. And it's not that I'm happy that my husband died but where I am in my life, I am happier than expected and that is something that is hard for me to share with other people.
Sometimes there are circumstances in a marriage that some people just don't understand. In my case I found a sense of adventure that I didn't have in my marriage! But there are many other circumstances that would make this a true statement as well. No one should feel judged for moving forward and living a life that is best for them. What's the point of living if you are not going to live?

Please subscribe to my podcast to continue this journey with me.
You can connect with me on through social media. I love hearing from listeners. Send me a private message.
https://www.instagram.com/loveisnotdead_justmyhusband/
https://www.facebook.com/loveisnotdeadjustmyhusband
And if you are a widow looking to widow your own way while rewriting your happily ever after, please join my Private Facebook Group:
Widow Your Way - Love is not dead, Just my husband
You can now support me with Buy Me A Coffee! Coffee is my love language ❤️