Love & Life with Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

Have you ever dated—or married!—a mama’s boy? If so, this episode is for you! Jody O’Brien spent 12 years married to a Mother Enmeshed Man (MEM). She shares the confusion and pain of loving a man who loves you, but loves his mother more.

Jody and I discuss:

• How a MEM breadcrumbs you even when you’re already married.
• The tenderness a MEM displays to women—which is initially very attractive, but will eventually sabotage your relationship.
• The guilt and shame a MEM feels when he makes efforts toward independence.
• The boundary violations inherent to enmeshed mothers and their adult sons.
• The self-loathing a MEM experiences because he knows he should stand up to his mother, but he sadly lacks the wherewithal.
• The fear enmeshed mothers feel which plays into their desire to control and cling to their sons.

If you’ve ever dated a MEM—or want to be sure you avoid doing so—join us!

Jody O’Brien

Instagram: @enmeshment_truths

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black Audiobook:

Audible - smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible 

iTunes - smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

In the US alone, more than 300,000 couples over the age of 50 divorce every year and this trend is growing. If you include the adult children involved, between 900,000 and 1.2 million people are impacted by the dissolution of these marriages. In fact, the term “gray divorce” has entered the lexicon to describe couples who part ways later in life.

Despite the number of people affected by gray divorce, few resources exist to provide support as adult children manage this unexpected and painful family division.

Psychotherapists Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg join me to discuss their book, Home Will Never Be the Same Again: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce.

So often, adult children of divorce feel invisible. Because they’re adults, others assume they’ll move through the divorce with ease. Their parents may even expect them to feel happy for them as they embark upon their new life. But adult children grieve the loss of their family and in addition to this pain, they’re faced with the challenges of visiting multiple homes for the holidays and navigating competing expectations for loyalty.

Join us for an empathic conversation around the realities of gray divorce and its deep impact on all involved.

Reference:

https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/67/6/731/614154?login=false

Carol & Bruce

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/carol-r-hughes-phd-lmft-and-bruce-r-fredenburg-ms-lmft

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Home-Will-Never-Same-Again/dp/1538135302

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook

Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Our world feels increasingly chaotic and morally inverted. And for those who remain skeptical and endeavor to think critically and rationally, it’s extremely overwhelming.

As you know from episode 294 “COVID Trauma: How to Move Through Post COVID Stress Disorder,” Elliott and I have lost trust in many, if not most, of the institutions we once thought were at least somewhat honorable.

Who can we trust? What’s going on behind the scenes? Who’s actually in charge and why are they so determined to strip us of our rights?

I frequently listen to Dr. Joseph Mercola’s podcast and when I heard his interview with Dr. Leland Stillman, I immediately bought Dr. Stillman’s book, Dying to be Free: How America's Ruling Class Is Killing and Bankrupting Americans, and What to Do About It.

I devoured the book in a few days. It covers an enormous amount of ground and provides answers to questions like the ones I posed above.

If you’re not familiar with Dr. Leland Stillman and his work, I’m thrilled to introduce you to him in today’s episode.

Our father told us to “Take Charge” in every aspect of our lives. If you want to know how to take charge in these oppressive times, this episode is for you!

Sponsors:

Authentixx

Website: http://www.authentixx.com

Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!

The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

Dr. Leland Stillman

Website: https://stillmanmd.com/

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week.

Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships.

Elliott and I explore the following:

• Why Words of Affirmation may be the most important love language!
• How to express Words of Affirmation even if you’re not someone who feels comfortable sharing your emotions.
• The difficulty of receiving Words of Affirmation when we don’t feel confident or self-assured—and how to learn to receive them despite our insecurities and woundedness.
• How to give Words of Affirmation to ourselves—and why doing so is a gift to our current or future partner!

Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life!

Quizzes, Resources, & more:

Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/

Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.

Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

We’re in the midst of a mental health war. Over the last 50 years, we’ve raised awareness and developed abundant treatment options, yet Americans’ rates of depression and anxiety continue to skyrocket (Whitaker, 2015).

Today, Elliott and I discuss my reflections on his recent messages about the epidemics of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and addiction.

We conceptualize the current mental health landscape as a war for two reasons: (1) because so many Americans battle psychological concerns and (2) professionals are in the midst of deeply contentious disputes regarding how to best treat clients’ emotional distress.

Pharmaceutical corporations and many psychiatrists view this issue through a medical model i.e. patients are diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses and are prescribed pills to manage symptoms. But despite an exponential increase in the use of psychotropic medications, the number of Americans filing disability claims due to mental conditions has tripled over the last two decades (Whitaker, 2015).

Elliott and I argue that a “medicalized” framework pathologizes reasonable responses to trauma and pain; this frameworks also disempowers clients—which is both an unintended and unfortunate consequence. Furthermore, and very importantly, most pharmaceutical interventions for psychological conditions simply don’t work as promised—if at all (Brogan, 2016, 2019; Whitaker, 2015).

Join our conversation to learn the necessary tactics for engaging in this mental health war!

Works Cited

Brogan, K. (2016). A mind of your own: The truth about depression and how women can heal their bodies to reclaim their lives. Harper Wave.

Brogan, K. (2019). Own yourself: The surprising path beyond depression, anxiety, and fatigue to reclaiming your authenticity, vitality, and freedom. Hay House.

Spielmans, G., Spence-Sing, T., & Parry, P. (2020). Duty to warn: Antidepressant black box suicidality warning is empirically justified. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 20. ttps://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00018/full

Whitaker, R. (2015). Anatomy of an epidemic. Broadway Books.

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson