Love and Abuse

Paul Colaianni

1 Creator

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse gives you the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage. You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a game so deep you come out a shell of your former self. Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com. Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/

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Top 10 Love and Abuse Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Love and Abuse episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Love and Abuse for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Love and Abuse episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

How emotional abuse can enter your life like an infection

Love and Abuse

02/14/24 • 25 min

Sometimes, you can't see the red flags before you're hurt. Emotional abuse can be like an infection that enters your body. You may not know it's there until a lot of time has passed, and you've invested a lot into the relationship.

In this episode, I share how emotional abuse acts like an infection entering your body and mind and help you understand the environment in which such an emotional infection thrives.

What change really looks like when the emotional abuser heals

Love and Abuse

06/06/24 • 38 min

The healed former emotional abuser looks a lot different than the person they used to be. If you've ever accepted a hurtful person back into your life after they said they've changed but notice after a short while that their old behaviors are creeping back in, you might have missed an important clue that they haven't changed at all.

Don't lock yourself into a worse situation

Love and Abuse

03/12/25 • 32 min

When you get into an emotionally abusive relationship, you have no idea what you're walking into. When you figure it out, you might have to make some tough choices. One of those choices might lead to getting deeper into something you know is bad for you.

The needy and clingy people that become emotionally abusive

Love and Abuse

01/05/22 • 23 min

Needy and clingy people can become obsessive and emotionally abusive. They will find ways to keep tabs on you so that they are always on your mind. They need constant attention and there's little you can do to make them happy except to be with them all the time. Neediness can turn into bad behavior to the point where unless you comply with everything they want, they'll make you believe you're being awful to them.

loveandabuse.com

Why abusive people need to maintain power and control over you

Love and Abuse

02/21/25 • 42 min

Some people just won't stop being hurtful. Why won't they stop? Are they just terrible people we have to accept and move on? Power and control is their M.O. and it's important you know why. For some there is hope. For others, well, it may take a lot more than hope to see change. https://loveandabuse.com

Can you stay connected to friends and family that don't share your morals or values?

Love and Abuse

07/30/23 • 38 min

A friend or family member does behavior that you find immoral or maybe even illegal. Do you keep the connection because they are a great person otherwise, or do you move on staying in alignment with yourself? It can be a tricky thing to navigate such a challenge.

When you think you're strong enough to get back into the difficult relationship

Love and Abuse

02/22/24 • 28 min

When you reach your breaking point with someone, you might make the decision to leave. During that time, you can regain your confidence and feel your power again. You might even decide to give the relationship a second chance, knowing that if you see any warning signs, you can address them right away.

That is until you are once again coerced into staying in a situation that seems destined to go down the exact same path as before. Now what?

When you can barely take care of yourself let alone give them what they want

Love and Abuse

09/20/24 • 40 min

What if you're doing all you can to maintain your own health and well-being but you have someone in your life who a consistent drain on your mental and emotional health? Can you rebuild your energy or do you have to accept that it may never stop and you may have to make tougher choices about the relationship?

When they go silent and emotionally disconnect from you

Love and Abuse

11/29/23 • 35 min

When the emotionally abusive person goes silent in order to make you feel guilty and give them the attention they want, do they have a deeper motive of self-preservation? When abusers use silence to control you, there's a lot going on under the hood. In this episode, I share my personal history of using the silent treatment to control the people I claimed to love.

Should you make a list of everything they're doing wrong and hand it to them?

Love and Abuse

08/18/23 • 37 min

What would happen if you decided to write them a loving, supportive letter outlining all of their hurtful behaviors in hopes they'll read it and finally realize they need to change?

Will it backfire on you? I talk about that in this episode.

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