#5 It’s All Good Until It's Not

12/22/21 • 21 min

Animals, just like us, crave ease. Because when at ease, the nervous system is relaxed, which means the body and mind are calm.:: When we or our animals feel our life is on the line, we instinctively go into survival mode.

:: What does survival mode look like? We contract. We pull all the energies into our core, rush adrenaline through our veins so we are ready to take flight or fight or freeze. Our mind moves frantically through the option available to get back to safety.

:: Under natural circumstances, fight, flee, freeze episodes are short. As soon as we realize the threat is over, the body takes a deep breath and the mind calms. For example, the car in front hits the brakes. Reflexively you do too. The adrenaline surge rushes through your body. Once you come to a stop an inch away from the other car’s bumper, your body takes a deep breath. Your extremities tingle as adrenalin recedes. Within moments your system relaxes.

:: Ideally, like a pendulum, the body naturally goes back and forth between arousal and relaxation.

:: In our domestic world, the nervous system is often over-aroused. We are hooked into so many stressors that the nervous system has not enough time and space to go back into a relaxed state.

:: If you feel more uneasy than at ease, if you are stuck in contraction, it is time to heed long-term physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual issues.

:: How does this tie back to your relationship with your animal? Let's go back to the quirky behavior your animal displays by tripping or cheering you up. Let’s say you carry tension in your neck and shoulders. You might be aware of it, or not. Take a little inventory right now, are you tense anywhere in your body? Are you holding your breath, pulling your shoulders to the ear lopes, clenching your teeth or your toes? I bet you are able to find some unconscious tension. Your animal is always conscious of that tension because s/he is in tune with the five areas. The people ... being one. Because there is tension in the people area your animal wants to fix it, a.k.a. Trip you up so you take a deep breath. Remember, animals, just like us, crave ease. Ease means all is well and safe.

:: When your dog trips you up – literally – as you rush to get out of the house, don't push her aside. Instead, stop in mid-stride, take a deep breath, and thank her for looking out for you.

:: And, if your kitten acts really goofy in the most unfitting moment ... take a breath and then observe yourself and the circumstance. Is your kitten alerting you to something about you - are you stressed, concerned, need some cheering up?

:: When you are physically at ease you are more willing and able to engage with your body and be present with it. And that is important because your body is your biggest sensing tool.

:: Animals are keen observers not just with their eyes, but they observe an energetic change with their entire body.

:: When our animals "speak" to us, we are given a choice: we can dismiss them as silly and goofy, or we can choose to stop... and listen.

:: Ideally, like a pendulum, the body naturally goes back and forth between arousal and relaxation.

:: In our domestic world, the nervous system is often over-aroused. We are hooked into so many stressors that the nervous system has not enough time and space to go back into a relaxed state.

:: If you feel more uneasy than at ease, if you are stuck in contraction, it is time to heed long-term physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual issues.

:: When your dog trips you up – literally – as you rush to get out of the house, don't push her aside. Instead, stop in mid-stride, take a deep breath, and thank her for looking out for you.

:: When you are physically at ease you are more willing and able to engage with your body and be present with it. And that is important because your body is your biggest sensing tool.

:: Animals are keen observers not just with their eyes, but they observe an energetic change with their entire body.

:: When our animals "speak" to us, we are given a choice: we can dismiss them as silly and goofy, or we can choose to stop... and listen.

Previous Episode

#4 Quirky or Undesired Behavior? There is a Reason.

To see things through my animals’ eyes means not putting my own experience, feelings, and beliefs onto them.

- Nicole Birkholzer

:: Projection often means that we're doing something to the animal while seeing the world through our animal's eyes allows us to do something with our animal.

:: When our animals speak to us, be aware, that type of behavior is their way of expressing themselves, we have a choice. We can either dismiss them as quirky or annoying or get frustrated with them, or we can choose to stop and listen. Because these furry and feathery guides of ours as simply reflecting back on what's going on in our life and in their life.

:: When we run on autopilot. When we’re not tuned in. When we are not present, they see it often as their job to trip us up, or lie on our keyboard, or become a no-show at the fence. They make us aware that we're physically there but not available. Therefore, quirky or unexpected behaviors are really your animal's way of asking you to come back into balance. Their quirky behavior is their a way to wake you up.

:: Living with animals enriches our lives in many ways. But when the behavior is suddenly unexpected even dangerous their actions become our concern. If your dog has separation anxiety and whines and cries every time you pick up your keys that's an undesired behavior.

Or, if your new cat is fighting with your older cat and one of them is not using the litter box, well that's a problem. Or, if you're fostering three bunny sisters and one of the bunnies charges you keeping you away from bonding with the other two, that's not fun. Because you expected a snuggly bunny situation. Or, why does your horse suddenly not step up to the mountain block when usually she stands like a statue?

What is going on?

:: In these situations, you often reach out to your veterinarian or your trainer. Wondering if there is something physically, wrong. If there is a training issue? You might bring the bunnies back because the one that charges you is just not manageable. Often the vet or trainer can't find a solution because it is not necessarily a training or health issue that's going on most often it's a behavior issue that can't be fixed with treats or medicine. So what is really going on in those situations?

:: In most cases, the quirky or undesired behavior relates to some type of unease. Be it unease within you, because you're not breathing, or too occupied. Or, something brings them unease in their environment. I discovered that there are five areas that can influence our life either with ease or unease.

:: The five areas are, the people we're surrounding ourselves with can bring ease or unease to us. Our purpose, fulfilling our purpose or feeling we have not yet fulfilled our purpose is something that can bring ease or unease into our life. Our environment, if we love where we live, if we love how we surround ourselves, can bring a lot of ease. But, it can also bring unease if we're not happy in our environment. Then there are the peers, the connection we have to others outside our world. That, of course, can bring a lot of ease or unease into our lives. And the fifth category or area is our health. Because being healthy usually means are at ease, but if we have aches or pains we feel unease.

:: If the animal is consistently feeling unease from the first four categories, people, purpose, environment, pack, or herd, the unease can eventually lead to dis-ease. And with that, we came full circle. Unease leads to dis-ease which leads to health issues.

:: With this episode, I invite you to start paying attention to your projections. When do you project your own feelings onto the animal and when you're truly feeling your animal is informing you?

:: And, start looking into some of the animal behaviors you notice. Are they quirky? Is your animal simply trying to give you a chance to tune in and come from your head back into your body?

:: Or, is there something creating unease in your animal’s world and for that, you look at the five areas, the people, the purpose, the environment, the herd, or pack, and your animal's health.

To book a private phone session with Nicole and your animal, click here.

https://www.mindful-connections.com/post/quirky-or-undesired-behavior-there-is-a-reason

Next Episode

#6 Let's Have a Verbal Chat

Episode #6 Let's Have a Verbal Chat

:: Throughout the last episodes you re-membered to breathe, consciously, tuned into your senses, and explored ease and unease. As a child, you did all this naturally because your mind wasn’t filled with domestic concerns. You were tuned into your immediate world with body, mind, and spirit.

:: What I share with you today will remind you of something else you did so naturally as a child. ... have a chat with your animals. My mission for this episode is to get you chatting with intention And THAT will change your life with animals for-ever!

:: To start off our connection and communication with an animal we always take a deep breath.

Inhale and exhale.

:: Just to remind you, and if you’re listening for the first time, be informed that one conscious breath puts you into the now, so you are physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually present with your animal. And three belly breaths allow your brain to move into a calmer, more receptive mode.

:: Many of us have learned that short commands are the best way to communicate with animals ... walk, trot, can-ter, sit, come, stay, heel"... when you condition an animal to these commands, you want to control the animal's body and mind. Tell them what to do. Your goal is that they obey. And that is valuable in many situations, a.k.a. your dog runs toward the road, you call "Baxter, STOOOOOP," and he stops. Phew.

:: But ... what if your animal has a much more extensive communication repertoire? What if you can have real conversations?

:: It is tough for your anima/s to get the point across or express an opinion when you don't give them a chance to be in dialogue.

:: Having a chat with your animal, meaning a dialog, allows the animal to give you feedback and help direct where the conversation might go next.

:: I called my show Let’s have a chat because I know that your voice is an underutilized tool. And I am here to encourage you to use it.

:: Speak Out Loud

:: Stories

:: The stories show, animals, just like us, want to be seen and heard. Dogs and cats, and birds and ... horses, love to be in a dialog. And they love to share their skills and talents. And ... if we engage with them and talk to them in full sentences ... magic happens.

:: Speaking with clear intention and with your animal can prevent a lot of problems before they have a chance to take shape.

:: Ideally, you have a conversation with your animal before you make any significant changes.

:: Animals, just like us, do not like to be surprised or overwhelmed with a new situation. They prefer to wrap their mind around events as they manifest. Preparing your furry companion for the change will set everyone up for success.

:: Change is always unsettling and will have an impact on you and your animal. A few words of simple explanation can help you both move from un-ease to ease.

:: This concludes this episode and I invite you to start using your voice to communicate with your animal. Remember, short simple explanations. Tell him or her what’s going on ... and then be open and curious ... amazement is on the way!

https://www.mindful-connections.com/post/let-s-have-a-verbal-chat