Latter-day Faith

Note: This two-part episode (Episode 166 is Part 2) is a departure from the usual focus of Latter-day Faith, which emphasizes teaching about and encouraging healthy faith development through introducing listeners to wise and powerful teachers in this area as well as to spiritual practices that can help us face our struggles with faith and church, families, communities, and with the world. In this podcast episode, Latter-day Faith host Dan Wotherspoon and his guest, Annika Rau, seek the same goals but take us into a dark area that will force us to wrestle with our ideas about God and prophets, presented in the context of “sexual grooming” and its relationship to the establishment of polygamy early in the history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Please take care of yourselves. This podcast might not be a safe listen for you, and if you determine that to be the case, do not listen! If you do choose to listen, please stop whenever you might need to. Be kind to yourself. Breathe deeply. Practice self-care at every moment. Bless you.

________________________

Sexual grooming is the use of various techniques that allow someone to isolate a child or another person for the purpose of gaining trust so the groomer can initiate sexual contact with them and to then instruct the victim to keep their sexual relationship a secret. Sexual grooming often involves family members, as well, with the groomer establishing a trusting relationship with them that makes it much less likely they will suspect sexual assault is occurring while also rendering them more likely to reject any story they might be told by the victim.

The specific focus of this conversation is the relationship between sexual grooming of both the women he married and, very often, their family members and the establishment of polygamy early in the history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is vital for all of us to wrestle with the many difficulties involved in hurtful practices instituted and practiced by Joseph Smith, Jr., whom Latter-day Saints consider a prophet of God. We must also wrestle about what, if anything, did God have to do with this practice and the grooming of children/young women that was essential if it were to take hold.

Religious and other charismatic leaders within other traditions as well as in politics have also used grooming techniques to further the fulfillment of their sexual desires. Grooming is an absolute evil and it is something we must learn to recognize should someone try to groom us or anyone we love or have direct concern for. Thus, a focus early in this episode is on grooming techniques themselves before turning to the grooming/polygamy question.

How might we be able to view Joseph Smith as both a prophet and sexual abuser? Can we? Must we “cancel” him because of this fact of his life history so we can completely ignore every other one of his qualities and positive contributions to many lives, and, as a by-product, the rest of the world? Do we need to wrestle with our conception of God and God’s character as most of us have at one time, or even now, taken it at face value that God might require sexual conquest of this type?

This episode seeks to inform about grooming and the techniques Joseph and other early church leaders used in helping Joseph convince four of his youngest brides(under the age of 20) to “consent” to this practice, including sexual contact. It does not seek to influence anyone that such conduct is incompatible with claims to be a “prophet” (in whatever sense we might have seen him). It does seek to convince that God had nothing whatsoever to do with polygamy and the grooming it required but everything to do with offering love, comfort, hope, optimism, insight and every other grace to the children and women who found themselves in unwanted relationships. May our struggles with these things bring us into deeper relationship with God/the Universe/Love even if it means we must face very dark and sad facts.

We hear people throughout the religious world use the language of “blessings” when something difficult in their lives is resolved in a wonderful and what seems to them somewhat mysterious way. For some who are attuned to trying to experience the heartbeat of the cosmos, we will hear about all of life as a blessing, the very large and very small, all the good and all the bad, light and dark, life and death, things unexpected, desired, dreaded, or confusing. For others who think of God in quite personal terms, as a being that somehow pays really close attention to them and all other individuals on the planet, they sense that blessings are a result of actions they have taken, thinking of them being doled out by this personal God according to some formula that they don’t fully understand but are sure it is in play.

A common refrain from some is that it was God, following their prayer of desperation, who helped them “find their keys,” healed their loved one, or perhaps led them safely home through a terrible storm. They will testify to this in a spirit of gratitude, certain that God was definitely the primary actor in such things. However, for many who hear their testimony of God’s particular care, such expressions that seem to move beyond “this happened” to why they were particularly gifted with this result bring up many questions: Why didn’t my loved one recover from their illness, be warned of an impending accident so they might not have been so badly injured, or worse, from what happened on the highway. Some become fraught with questions and frustration: So God cared about their keys being found just in time to make it to the important meeting—or the temple session they wanted to attend—yet doesn’t care enough to rescue others who are imprisoned in sexual slavery, who are murdered or raped or abused, who lose their livelihood from circumstances far beyond their own control? It all can make one stop believing in a God at all and, sometimes, at least for a while, imagining life is meaningless and everything that comes up in life is purely random.

In this episode of Latter-day Faith, Susan Hinckley, along with host Dan Wotherspoon, explore the idea of blessings and the various ways people think and speak about them. In an effort to “seed” reflection, they explore notions and orientations to blessings like those things mentioned above, as well as reveal their own struggles with the evolution of their ideas about blessings in their own journeys. Are they something that are sort of “earned” by righteousness, or is there a more mysterious sort of calculus in play, such as that suggested by Elder Dale G. Renlund in a recent General Conference address when he proposed: “[Y]ou do not earn a blessing—that notion is false—but you do have to qualify for it.”? Or is a better way of approaching life’s various movements in terms of “grace,” a term for that which is given freely to all things and persons simply through the energies that create and infuse all life? Is that best approach found in the idea of “original blessing,” a concept that allows for both God and creation’s own mysterious work drawn from the story of Creation in Genesis 1 in which God creates and at each step of separation and differentiation declares it “good,” and, ultimately, after the creation of humans, pronounces the result “very good.”

Please enjoy this discussion! May it stimulate wonderful reflection on this “close to home” topic! _____ Quotation from Pema Chodron that Susan read during discussion: Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again, and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. From Chodron's When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Note: This two-part episode (Episode 166 is Part 2) is a departure from the usual focus of Latter-day Faith, which emphasizes teaching about and encouraging healthy faith development through introducing listeners to wise and powerful teachers in this area as well as to spiritual practices that can help us face our struggles with faith and church, families, communities, and with the world. In this podcast episode, Latter-day Faith host Dan Wotherspoon and his guest, Annika Rau, seek the same goals but take us into a dark area that will force us to wrestle with our ideas about God and prophets, presented in the context of "sexual grooming" and its relationship to the establishment of polygamy early in the history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Please take care of yourselves. This podcast might not be a safe listen for you, and if you determine that to be the case, do not listen! If you do choose to listen, please stop whenever you might need to. Be kind to yourself. Breathe deeply. Practice self-care at every moment. Bless you.

______

Sexual grooming is the use of various techniques that allow someone to isolate a child or another person for the purpose of gaining trust so the groomer can initiate sexual contact with them and to then instruct the victim to keep their sexual relationship a secret. Sexual grooming often involves family members, as well, with the groomer establishing a trusting relationship with them that makes it much less likely they will suspect sexual assault is occurring while also rendering them more likely to reject any story they might be told by the victim.

The specific focus of this conversation is the relationship between sexual grooming of both the women he married and, very often, their family members and the establishment of polygamy early in the history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is vital for all of us to wrestle with the many difficulties involved in hurtful practices instituted and practiced by Joseph Smith, Jr., whom Latter-day Saints consider a prophet of God. We must also wrestle about what, if anything, did God have to do with this practice and the grooming of children/young women that was essential if it were to take hold.

Religious and other charismatic leaders within other traditions as well as in politics have also used grooming techniques to further the fulfillment of their sexual desires. Grooming is an absolute evil and it is something we must learn to recognize should someone try to groom us or anyone we love or have direct concern for. Thus, a focus early in this episode is on grooming techniques themselves before turning to the grooming/polygamy question.

How might we be able to view Joseph Smith as both a prophet and sexual abuser? Can we? Must we "cancel" him because of this fact of his life history so we can completely ignore every other one of his qualities and positive contributions to many lives, and, as a by-product, the rest of the world? Do we need to wrestle with our conception of God and God's character as most of us have at one time, or even now, taken it a face value that God might require sexual conquest of this type?

This episode seeks to inform about grooming and the techniques Joseph and other early church leaders used in helping Joseph convince four of his youngest brides(under the age of 20) to "consent" to this practice, including sexual contact. It does not seek to influence anyone that such conduct is incompatible with claims to be a "prophet" (in whatever sense we might have seen him). It does seek to convince that God had nothing whatsoever to do with polygamy and the grooming it required but everything to do with offering love, comfort, hope, optimism, insight and every other grace to the children and women who found themselves in unwanted relationships. May our struggles with these things bring us into deeper relationship with God/the Universe/Love even if it means we must face very dark and sad facts.

This episode celebrates Thomas McConkie's incredible new book, At-One-Ment--Embodying the Fullness of Human-Divinity, and dives into several of its topic areas that LDF Host Dan Wotherspoon chose as potentially helpful to this listening audience. In both a personal and descriptive tone they discuss the importance of training our minds to "concentrate," for it is the primary key that can unlock our ability to live in a state of endless energy, depth, beauty, love, and connection. Tom also talks about "transfiguration." In another important section of the conversation, Tom describes for us certain "energy centers" in our bodies (such as our needs for safety/security, pleasure, esteem/affection, and to experience power within situations) and how these centers often get activated (with negative effects) within our daily lives. He also discusses ways to mitigate in healthy ways the discomfort they create within us. Another topic here is ways to convey what we can expect as we step more fully into a life as a "human-divine." What is it like? What kinds of experiences await? How does yielding to the transfiguring power of the Sacred World affect us?

Throughout, both Tom and Dan share from their own personal experiences as travelers stumbling through adolescence before being captured by Spirit and drawn into these kinds of lives. Listen in! And rush to purchase, At-One-Ment--Embodying the Fullness of Human-Divinity!

President Russell M. Nelson's recent LDS General Conference talk, "Peacemakers Needed," focuses on the strong need for Latter-day Saints, and basically everyone else, to more actively strive for peace in our interactions in the world at large, and especially with each other personally. Noting the hostility and name-calling and dismissiveness of others dominating public discourse (as well as too often our own family lives), he made a clear call for all of us to treat each other better. Yet, he and we all know that attaining the qualities of a peacemaker is not a simple thing. It requires a great deal of desire, inner reflection, and practicing if we are to meet each other in spirit and in the way we must if we are to ever heal our relationships--and, indeed, the world. His is a call for genuine transformation of our hearts. But, do we know how to be peacemakers? It is one thing to set it forth as worthy work, but it is another to actually know how we might actually begin to embody the spirit of a peacemaker. That's where this discussion begins.

With the wonderful Selina Miller Forsyth, this Latter-day Faith Podcast looks at several of the "skills" that peacemakers require. It primarily looks at things we all need to work on in general but notes as well the places where Latter-day Saints might have extra difficulty. One of these is learning to differentiate between "healthy conflict" and "contention." The Book of Mormon phrase about the "spirit of contention" being of the devil (3 Nephi 11:19) is so well engrained in the LDS tradition that many of us are startled and react with fear whenever any sort of disagreement arises in church settings, and even within our own families. Often we don't really know how to discern between important conversations that involve disagreement, putting forth different positions, passion, and intensity with "contention." Another skill of a peacemaker is "emotional regulation." We must learn to be good with ourselves, centered in a sense of security and safety as well as confidence if we are to ever be able to practice genuine peacemaking that does not dismiss or demonize persons who bring something into our world that we don't agree with or have been taught is wrong but that we haven't really wrestled with ourselves. If we allow our emotions to flood our consciousness, blocking out everything but our current discomfort, it's impossible to interact in healthy ways, impossible to be a peacemaker in such situations. Peacemakers must also learn the skill of "listening." So many of us simply do not know how to truly listen to each other, to put aside our own ego, our own agendas, and to actually encounter them and what they are saying in an interested, calm, centered way. What does "listening" actually mean? Are there ways we can learn to listen in the way peacemakers can? This is a terrific conversation. It doesn't come close to offering even a tenth of what there is to be said about each of these areas, and both Selina and LDF host, Dan, are well aware of that--yet it is a start. And it's a conversation we invite you to join in! Let's create more shows to share even more ideas about this really big but oh-so-personal topic, and especially how we might gain the skills to genuinely become persons of peace. Join us!