Killed By Porn

After smoking Cuban cigars in Panama, hitting swingers clubs in Argentina, and narrowly escaping a kidnapping charge in Columbia, Duke Eastwood is back in the dirty desert wasteland of Denver, Colorado to bring you another not-ready-for-primetime podcast. Not all podcasts have a happy ending; listen for this one’s safe word.

What type of person listens to Killed By Porn? They move to a town based on the availability of low-cost, high-speed Internet; and knowledge that the government secretly puts birth control into the city’s drinking water. If appearing on Room Raiders, a UV light looking for incriminating spillage, shined upon their computer area would reveal a glow bright enough to blind a person with 20/20 vision, even among female fans. What sort of person listens to Killed By Porn? You know who you are! Download the MP3, then quickly close this window before anyone sees, learns, and knows what a total sicko you are.

Like being left alone with your dad’s creepy best friend... here’s Killed By Porn, episode number 7. Duke’s got enough alcohol to kill a rhinocerous, and enough wild-ass rock’n’roll to wipe out an entire civilization of squares. Check it out for yourself... [Squares and rhinos beware!]

Have you ever wondered, “Can they can pull my finger prints from that?” If you’re 18 you could be tried as an adult. For Killed By Porn 18, all stigma related to the number eighteen was recognized. Eighteen is sometimes considered a number of the devil; 6+6+6=18. In chapter 13 of the Book of Revelations it is in the verse 18 in which the book talks about the number 666. There are also 18 letters in the words six hundred sixty-six. Also consider that the army of naked bodies that are used to attack your computer’s well-being are all at least 18. Put on your Rosary beads and sleep with your light on; this podcast shit is getting evil.

If you gave up porn for Lent, you’re about to ring the register on a whole year of sin. And if you can’t handle that, you’d better nail your own hands to a plank of wood, because once you hit that podcast button there’s no turning back. Not only is this episode a slew of dirty rock and roll tunes, it also contains a ceremonial voodoo singalong designed to curse a certain vandal of the art world. We’ll see you in hell.