Kidnapped By Wizards

In this episode the boys have some hot new concepts to keep British daytime TV relevant, we discuss the best way to tease a ketchup bottle, the dirty secrets of tennis and attempt to recast a movie from ages ago with modern actors. Give it a listen, it's so current affairs! Also Stu drops a massive fart.

(0:00:17) - Pre-Salted Chips and Daddy's Sauce

We discuss pre-salted chips, the wizards tower, Tarbyshire Town of Bakewell, pre-ketchup, and wanking off chips.

(0:06:18) - Random Tangents and Pop Culture References

Nila's return, Wizard Tower architect, mysterious red jumper, phylactery of the scrote discussed.

(0:15:18) - Gooking, Grapefruits, and Reality TV

We discussed Mr Blobby, 'Who's Gonna Grapefruit, Marry or Kill' challenge, 'Bloody Bottle of Cum' and 'Bush Took a Trial' challenge, and the future of the show.

(0:20:41) - Naked Attraction and Other Grim Shows

We discuss a strange American show, 'Naked Attraction', 'Castle of Illusion', and how Mickey and Donald must have got groped a lot in the world of illusion.

(0:26:52) - Unpopular Opinions and Quirky Colleagues

We debate Nintendo games, Microsoft-Zenimax, gaming industry innovation, and reminisce about Blanket Cunt.

(0:36:10) - Cryptids and Random Topics

We uncover mysteries of tennis, explore a cryptid from Mississippi lake, and imagine a crocodile in a top hat playing poker.

(0:50:06) - Recasting Movie Characters

We debate creative monster-killing, Predator casting, Terminator and Ghostbusters recasting, and Nintendo vs. EU.

(0:59:51) - Marvel and Predator Mashup Casting Ideas

We discuss Marvel/Predator casting, Native American representation, and South American lady/Blaine Motherfucker.

(1:06:24) - Movie and AI Discussions

We debate AI technology, Nintendo's releases, Microsoft/Zenimax, tennis, monster-taming, and Marvel/Predator casting.

In this episode, we cover a range of topics, starting with a heated discussion about our disdain for certain car models like the Suzuki Ignis and the Nissan Juke. We then dive into the world of automobiles, touching upon the BMW X7 and X6, the Mercedes A-Class, and the quirky Subaru Jingle. Along the way, we share our thoughts on car modifications and the strange habits of some drivers, like hoarding tea bags and broken mugs in their vehicles. We also explore lesser-known cryptids, test our knowledge with amusing games and riddles, and discuss our frustrations with daytime television and people obsessed with retro items like vintage games and clothing. Lastly, we wrap up the conversation with some entertaining adult-themed storytelling with Sakanori. Don't forget to leave us a five-star review on your preferred podcast platform, follow us on Twitter at @thatwizardpod, and catch us on YouTube. Thanks for listening, and until next time, take care and happy listening!

Chapter Summaries:

(0:00:05) - The Smugness of Suzuki Ignace (4 Minutes)

In this episode, we dive into the world of automobiles, discussing our disdain for certain car models, such as the Suzuki Ignis and the Nissan Juke. We explore the features that make these cars unappealing, such as their odd shapes, small wheels, and strange design choices.

(0:04:29) - Semi Carat (4 Minutes)

We continue our conversation on automobiles, touching upon the BMW X7 and X6, the Mercedes A-Class, and the quirky Subaru Jingle. We also share our thoughts on car modifications and the strange habits of some drivers, like hoarding tea bags and broken mugs in their vehicles.

(0:08:48) - The Mischief Maker's Monkey (12 Minutes)

In this chapter, we delve into various topics, beginning with a lighthearted banter about movies and celebrities. We then discuss our frustrations with daytime television and people obsessed with retro items, like vintage games and clothing. We also touch on our annoyance with physical game hoarders and the potential demise of physical media in the gaming world. Lastly, we wrap up the conversation with some riddles and playful humor'

(0:21:10) - Exploring Unknown Cryptids (8 Minutes)

We explore the fascinating world of cryptids, with a focus on lesser-known, hipster cryptids. We also dive into amusing games and riddles, testing our knowledge and wit against each other.

(0:28:50) - Exposing the Truth With Innovative Technology (10 Minutes)

We venture into the realm of bizarre cryptids, discussing the peculiar and sometimes creepy habits of these mysterious creatures. From the Arizona Candidate Squeezer to the Georgia Guest Drinker, we share chilling tales and unsettling behaviors of these elusive beings. We also ponder the existence of the Washington Difference Boaster and its unique ability to alter memories, causing confusion and self-doubt. As we wrap up our cryptid conversation, we ascend to the top of the business tower for some adult-themed storytelling with Sakanori'

(0:39:12) - The Poop Knife (13 Minutes)

In this chapter, we find ourselves discussing the peculiar concept of a "poop knife" and its use in handling oversized bowel movements. We also ponder the idea of convenience spells, touching on various scenarios that may benefit from a bit of magical intervention. The conversation takes several amusing and unexpected turns, including a debate on whether wizards need to visit the restroom and the curious practice of turning urine into jelly.

(0:52:08) - Keeping It Casual (5 Minutes)

In this portion of the conversation, we imagine the perfect, private toilet experience, complete with a serene environment, a waterfall, and the toilet roll made of clouds. We also engage in light-hearted banter about mythical creatures, debating the merits of befriending or becoming intimate with them, and even consider the practicalities of hugging an orca.

The Beef is back from a rather taxing tour of duty as an ottoman (you weren't there, man!) and has taken the reigns from Stu and Ryan before they hurt themselves! Join them for lots of talk about which Pokémon you should eat, and which are the tallest! They also introduce a new glossary feature, so our many thousands of new listeners can understand what the hell they're on about... always a bonus!

The boys are changing things up this week, sick and tired of the usual crude nonsense they are going Highbrow, talking about current affairs, politics and the like. Come along to discuss religious video game ideas, how to survive without the internet and have a particularly deep chat about ceramic ornaments and their less obvious uses!

(0:00:05) - Gaming and Controllers (10 Minutes)

We start off talking about technology and the UK blocking the Microsoft acquisition of Activision Blizzard. Google's attempt to enter the cloud gaming market and the obstacles they face, as well as the potential for Xbox to win the market are discussed. We then move on to BJ Lips from Wolf and Sky, and how the Xbox One controller has become a collector's item. Finally, we explore how to creatively display an original Xbox One controller in your home.

(0:10:20) - Biblical Video Game Reboot Ideas (13 Minutes)

We explore the logistics of self-love and the possibility of a biblical reboot of popular video games. We discuss the potential for Jesus to take down the devil in a game and Moses as the gray fox. Who the romance options might be and the possibility of a massive boat made of cotton flying around are also pondered. Finally, we consider the possibility of a disciple being shot and what that would mean for Jesus.

(0:23:40) - Life Without Internet (8 Minutes)

We explore the reality of life without the internet and the struggles it brings. We compare the older generations' experience with the modern take on technology and its evolution. We also examine the concept of charisma, going back to the Windows 3.1 days and how life has changed since then. Finally, we take a humorous look at the amusing scene of a police chase and the unlikely comedic consequences of being without the internet.

(0:31:40) - Lyrics and Riddles With Friends (10 Minutes)

We enter the world of role-playing games and the stats behind them. We discuss how intelligence and charisma can be used to your advantage and the need for strength and constitution to be a tank. We also talk about our descent into madness, playing the lyrics game and guessing the riddles. We also reminisce about a funny story from the 70s, and consider the idea of having a career without a name. Finally, we look at the struggles of life without the internet and the reality of older generations' experience.

(0:42:06) - Cryptids and Ghost Sex Conversations (14 Minutes)

We enter the world of cryptids and the game of Eat Ten Kit. We debate the existence of a ghost, discuss the magic of a game, and consider the idea of an inclusion ghost. We imagine a giant bullfrog screaming words and ponder the possibility of a death stalker. Finally, we explore the concept of a big, dumpy, deathclaw.

(0:55:59) - Inappropriate and Explicit Conversations (9 Minutes)

We enter a wild story of an erotic experience with a deer in the woods. We discuss the surprise of the deer, the arousal of the other toes, and the fullness inside of Andy's nice round ass that caused his death. We ponder the leaked script from Toy Story 6 and the power of the deer's gaze. Finally, we marvel at the deer's ability to bite off a juicy clamp with a mouthful of dong.

(1:05:05) - Podcast Outro and Promotion (2 Minutes)

We take a look at the power of reviews, the allure of TikTok, and the mysterious wizard of secret ghosts. We consider the impact of reviews on our podcast, the potential of Alexa to boost our reviews, and the importance of our presence on Twitter and TikTok. We discuss the role of Ship, the Lord of TikTok, and the hilarity of a conversation with a deer. Finally, we bid farewell to Goldstein, with a few cheeky words before ending the episode.

In this hot as heck episode the boys look at the new adventures of Obi Wan Kenobi, posit a theory about Alexandr Orlov and his manservant Sergei, take a look at the phenomenon that is Binley Mega Chippy and tell off Hollywood for constantly making awful sequels to The Terminator.