It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
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Top 10 It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan Episodes
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EP 0046 - Shame Based Addict
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
09/13/21 • 29 min
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In this episode, Joe talks about the self-conscious, shame-based feelings that he constantly faces and how he has learned to deal with them without mood altering. This episode delves deep into the protective actions one takes to hide feelings of shame and paralyzing yourself from life’s most simple activities!
Topics in this Episode:
-Starting with his first drink at 10, followed closely with prescription drugs and eventual heavy drug use later in life, Joe discussed the mind-altering use to mask the feelings of shame and the ultimate exhilarating “freedom” that followed
-Building the Wall of Hiding from Yourself and Everyone Else
-Looking into the Mirror and Seeing an Emotional Child, Not an Adult Ready to Live in This World
-Dealing with “Going Outside Your Comfort Zone”
-Learning to Adjust to New Surroundings and Protecting Yourself by Withdrawing from Daily Life Activities
-Self-Sabotage
-Seeing below the False Self...
-Cutting Off from Your True Self and Realizing “Shame Rolls Down Hill”
-Leaving Situations or Family Gatherings where Shaming is Continual
-Heal the Shame by Coming Out of Hiding
Shame is Exhausting, Depressing and a Dull Ache You Can’t Pinpoint
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EP 0002 - Validating From The Inside Out
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
01/02/20 • 14 min
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Shift Your Focus From Internalizing How You Perceive People See You And Start Looking At How You View Yourself. Validate From The Inside Out.
Website: https://joeryan.com
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EP 0017 - Numbing Out And Staying Stuck
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
05/13/20 • 12 min
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We Stay stuck by numbing out. We have found ways to live our life where we avoid any resistance or bad feelings. We are stuck in limbo complaining about others. All that energy and time wasted could be better well spent owing up to who you are and how you feel about yourself. It's time to own up to the things we don't like about ourselves. It's extremely difficult to be vulnerable, to experience the traits and feelings you don't like and or accept within yourself, to explore the darkness within you. You can't genuinely allow another in until you let yourself in first.
Getting to know who you are, walking through those fears, embracing the parts of you that you hide, that you don't like, that you despise, that wasn't accepted, that's where freedom is. These are the places you need to go. You can go there, and you can become comfortable with the parts of you that weren't loved, the parts of you that you hate within yourself. You don't have to hide from them anymore. You don't have to protect them from the world.
By owing and incorporating the parts of you that you cut off, bringing the light and darkness together to live as one within you, peace will find you.
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EP 0005 - False Self, Shame and Separation
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
01/29/20 • 12 min
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The false self is created when we have to cut off emotions that were unacceptable to our source figures. When unacceptable feelings and emotions we expressed, we were shamed and emotionally abandoned. Before logical thought was available to us. We cut off these emotions and were denied our reality in order to survive as children. To take the place of these emotions, we created a false self to give our source figures what they needed for us to be loved and connected. Whenever we need to access the emotions we have cut off we feel shame. This leaves us stuck in a childhood developmental stage. We never separated from our source figures emotionally. To be free from this stage and the shame, we carry we must give up our role and separate from our source figures. We must go into shame and feel what we could not when we were children.
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EP 0025 - Self Parenting
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
07/08/20 • 19 min
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It is not a child's responsibility to fill a parent's needs. When parents bring a child into this world, it is the parents' responsibility to fill the child up with its basic narcissistic needs. To give the child a foundation of self-love to build upon. The child needs to feel that the parent is there for them and not the other way around.
You should have been giving their blessing to go out in the world and find out who you are, where you belong, and who you were born to be. That's not the message we received. The message we received was, don't leave me, you're responsible for my feelings, my happiness, please keep a shiny, glossy, perfect facade for the world to see so that I don't feel my shame.
When your basic narcissistic needs weren't met in infancy, your worth and value would be determined by how you feel others perceive you. Self-parenting yourself how you needed to be parented will tap the source of your self-worth.
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EP 0007 - Internal validation , Owning All Of You
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
02/12/20 • 46 min
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Drew from The Anxious Truth and I was sitting around testing out his new Podcast gear. In the testing, we got into a conversation about part of the recovery process. There were a few gems that came out in the discussion, so I decided to put it out as its own episode. We talk about when your Subconscious telling you that you're done mood-altering. When you no longer have the energy to cover up and hide. When you are sick and tired of wearing the mask of the false self to be accepted by yourself and others, it's time to do the work of uncovering, experiencing, facing, accepting, and owing to the part of you that have been cut off so that you no longer have to hide who you are, not fear your own feelings and to stop being a walking reaction to protect the parts of us we don't want to be seen.
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The Anxious Truth: https://theanxioustruth.com
EP 0076 - Recovery Is Possible
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
11/14/23 • 22 min
Website: https://joeryan.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan
Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/
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After a long hiatus, Joe is back with a new perspective, insight, and positivity that he is ready to share! Deciding to focus on genuinely caring for himself for a while, Joe is ready to share some of the more important things he learned in this recovery phase.
Stepping back from the pressures of constantly self-exposing his shame, embarrassment, and other innermost disappointments, Joe could genuinely focus and work through many things holding him back from obtaining happiness daily! These revelations, new insights, and small victories have brought him to a new place of peace and satisfaction, translating to a renewed ability to share all this with you with greater enthusiasm and focus!
In this Episode:
- We connect the dots between phases, stages, and activities once the light bulb goes on!
- Working through the hangover and getting used to the new normal
- Reaching a point that you no longer have to prove your worth to the world
- Eliminating shame...accept things for what they were
- Learning to move out further in the direction you want
- Building things back “Your Way.”
- Getting back to a place where you can breathe with regularity!
This episode shows that you can overcome and work through almost anything to start living the life that you want. Even if you're not sure what it is, it's getting out the shit...the hurt...the victimhood, the learned helplessness and the self-hate. Build up your strength and confidence within yourself so you don't fear rejection, humiliation, and failure. Get to know who you are and the way of living that is right for you!
Remember....Recovery is Possible!
EP 0083 - Anger Is About A Want
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
05/15/24 • 30 min
Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ - Subscribe To All Episodes https://joeryan.com/subscribe/
Anger and hate are both related to unmet needs. When we feel angry, it's because we want something that we're not getting. And when we feel hate, it's because we have deep needs that are not being met, and we're struggling to deal with them. Self-hate is a common problem that many people face, and it can be very hard to overcome. We often hate ourselves because we feel helpless and stuck and don't know how to do things differently. This can be especially challenging if we've been raised in an environment where we were not encouraged to be independent or take care of our needs.
To overcome self-hate, it's important to figure out our needs and start taking steps to meet them. This can be difficult, especially if we've never learned how to do this before. Shifting our focus from hating ourselves to feeling angry at those who have hurt us is helpful. This can be a useful step in the healing process, but it's important not to get stuck in feelings of anger and hate towards others. Ultimately, we must work on understanding ourselves and taking responsibility for our well-being.
This can be a challenging process, and it may involve making difficult decisions, such as cutting people out of our lives or disappointing others. However, it's important to remember that we are responsible for our happiness and well-being. We must learn how to meet our needs and stop depending on others for validation and support. This can be a lonely process sometimes, but staying committed to our growth and healing is important.
EP 0033 - Separation
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
12/02/20 • 14 min
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Emotional Separation Involves Unbonding and Grieving, Where the Process of Growth and Transformation Meet Loss. The Disengaging of Patterns and Roles That Have Held You Emotionally Captive to Beliefs That Were Never Your Own
We were never taught healthy separation or how to separate at all. You grow up in an enmeshed family system, and there is no leaving. There is no separating, it's conformity. We all must conform to the system's rules, or else we will be shamed and abused into line. You must become what the system deems acceptable. There is no individuality; you do not stand alone; you do not have your self-identity or self-worth. Your value, your worth, everything you are is based on how the system views you, not on how you view yourself. Separating from that system is going against everything you've ever known, everything you've ever been taught.
Separation from your role and the role within the system is leaving home emotionally. Finding value within yourself and feeling the freedom to live a life based on how you feel, not how others need you to be.
Website: https://joeryan.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan
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EP 0064 - Emotional Incest
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan
07/26/22 • 17 min
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Do you find yourself watching what everybody else is doing or how they were feeling? What their anger level or resentment level may be? Are they overwhelmed or feeling peaceful? Is this a safe time or is it a fearful time? Is your inner safety based on the people around you? If so, you may have experienced “Emotional Incest” as a child. These feelings are the outcome of something deeper that you couldn't comprehend back then...even though you may have sensed something wasn’t right in how you were treated by a parent(s).
The topics in the “Emotional Incest” episode delve into how parents use their children to fill emotional holes in their life that stem from an unfulfilled marriage, and how that ultimately affects their ability to maintain a healthy self-image, and relationships in their adult life. Joe uncovers a number of emotions one feels when experiencing this sort of treatment and the steps necessary to course correct yourself now, and in the future. This episode covers many examples of what may be holding you back from being able to have a loving, caring, mutual “give and take” partnership with that special someone. These issues discussed have impacted many of us on different levels, with the greatest level being the recipient of “Emotional Incest”.
Topics in this Episode:
- When two parents are not getting their needs met by each other, they will triangulate and try to get their needs met by their children.
- How can you rebound from being the recipient of Emotional Incest?
- Learn how to find your worth and value to give yourself the things that you have given away
- Learned how to set boundaries- learn how to say no, to stand up for yourself, and to say this is where my emotional responsibility for you ends.
- Break the pattern of people pleasing and learn to take care of yourself- start loving yourself!
Emotional incest victims don't know who they are or what they feel. They know what everybody else feels. Stop giving away your complete self from a place of deficiency. Work towards establishing a balance of give and take and avoid the feeling of fear that if you are constantly not doing enough for other people or they will be quick to leave! The ability to eliminate these fears and to work on your own needs and self-worth are covered in this episode.
Website: https://joeryan.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan
Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/
Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/
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FAQ
How many episodes does It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan have?
It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan currently has 60 episodes available.
What topics does It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan cover?
The podcast is about Podcasts, Self-Improvement and Education.
What is the most popular episode on It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan?
The episode title 'EP 0005 - False Self, Shame and Separation' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan?
The average episode length on It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan is 19 minutes.
How often are episodes of It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan released?
Episodes of It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan are typically released every 28 days, 2 hours.
When was the first episode of It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan?
The first episode of It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan was released on Jan 2, 2020.
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