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It's Christmastown - 056 - The Scarborough, Ontario Wild Drumettes

056 - The Scarborough, Ontario Wild Drumettes

Explicit content warning

06/05/19 • 69 min

It's Christmastown

It's three yards and a cloud of pixie dust with LOVE ON THE SIDELINES (2016) and: Dr. Moreau wasn't wrong about the climate ... THEME ... The lines are open ... Hunter St. James ... Football or graftass ... One of the good ones! ... Joe Theismann picks interesting Hallmark movies ... Snowcoming nostalgia ... The Cremation of the Care ... Any Given Regretful Sunday ... Al Pacino reverie ... Hallmark Sports Channel ... JD and the Straight Shot ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot cleanup: Ava and the backup; poor and hungry; incompetent Mustang owner; scant Theismann ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: Patty, Supernatural Roommate ... The manifesto that proves the rule ... On to Cleveland ... Jeb's 19th century lawncare machines ... Eat Your Heart Out: Totino's Pizza Rolls promo; into you, Moby; Emily Kinney, spritely and elfin; a B-Dubs STACK of bread; Krishna dinner; 5 slices, 4 sliders and piles of Fritos; ecstasy of starch; clearly BBQ wings; We. Stan. Buffalo; the wattle must grow; scything a Showtime guy; pot of homemade chili; elegy for the Lost Kangaroo; bar hot dogs for dinner; "that's all casing"; the NFL diet of guacamole and cookies ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Crossover sports universe of the San Francisco Miners and Bookstore Boss Goes Bonkers; San Francisco, less beautiful than St. Petersburg; Full House; Kelly Rutherford and McKenzie Vega stuck in traffic returning to McBanjo; Kezar Stadium ... Overdetermined: The Danny/Ron/Ava Dumb Misunderstanding vs. Football-Metaphor Roasts and Joe Theismann's Eponymous Line ... Jared Lorenzen shout-out ... BREAK ... Crossover: A celebration of Any Given Sunday; Pacino in the Hallmark universe; The staggering aftermath of Last Boy Scouting it ... Billy Blanks, thanks for joining the Patreon; get my ass swole ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: No, ass-backwards gender politics, but it still works? ... Jeb's Mom, Oakland Raiders season ticket holder ... An infinite number of peaceably coexisting dirtbag communities: The America we want to live in ... Partner Chat: Danny is a pud; otherwise enjoyable; Conviction-era Emily Kinney fan ... Rating: 3.5; perfect execution of Hallmark middle-tier ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Danny Holland career comps: better than Tom Brady's first 7 seasons ... Arena-league player scale ... You named your dog after Newt Gingrich ... Fantastic Dane ... Theismann's method approach to lower-body injury ... Theismann to DeLuise: Touchdown! ... "Hey, you DO know something about football" ... Background football 24/7 ... (Brief) Hayley Sales Appreciation Station ... 16 episodes of Crown Bench ... Kevin Tighe Emergency! ... Ron Silver tendrils ... Idiot Elliot's patriarchal privilege ... Ocean's 12 with a 30lb. bag of dog food ... Terry Ingram and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle ... Mike Kafka Appreciation Station ... Losing a roommate, gaining dental care ... MVP: Emily Kinney ... Dave's lustrous coat ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Not As Much As Football," by Mojo Nixon • "All Kinds of Time," by Fountains of Wayne • "Thé à la Menthe (Instrumental)," by La Caution • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Orchestral Sports Theme (Lighter)," by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

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It's three yards and a cloud of pixie dust with LOVE ON THE SIDELINES (2016) and: Dr. Moreau wasn't wrong about the climate ... THEME ... The lines are open ... Hunter St. James ... Football or graftass ... One of the good ones! ... Joe Theismann picks interesting Hallmark movies ... Snowcoming nostalgia ... The Cremation of the Care ... Any Given Regretful Sunday ... Al Pacino reverie ... Hallmark Sports Channel ... JD and the Straight Shot ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot cleanup: Ava and the backup; poor and hungry; incompetent Mustang owner; scant Theismann ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: Patty, Supernatural Roommate ... The manifesto that proves the rule ... On to Cleveland ... Jeb's 19th century lawncare machines ... Eat Your Heart Out: Totino's Pizza Rolls promo; into you, Moby; Emily Kinney, spritely and elfin; a B-Dubs STACK of bread; Krishna dinner; 5 slices, 4 sliders and piles of Fritos; ecstasy of starch; clearly BBQ wings; We. Stan. Buffalo; the wattle must grow; scything a Showtime guy; pot of homemade chili; elegy for the Lost Kangaroo; bar hot dogs for dinner; "that's all casing"; the NFL diet of guacamole and cookies ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Crossover sports universe of the San Francisco Miners and Bookstore Boss Goes Bonkers; San Francisco, less beautiful than St. Petersburg; Full House; Kelly Rutherford and McKenzie Vega stuck in traffic returning to McBanjo; Kezar Stadium ... Overdetermined: The Danny/Ron/Ava Dumb Misunderstanding vs. Football-Metaphor Roasts and Joe Theismann's Eponymous Line ... Jared Lorenzen shout-out ... BREAK ... Crossover: A celebration of Any Given Sunday; Pacino in the Hallmark universe; The staggering aftermath of Last Boy Scouting it ... Billy Blanks, thanks for joining the Patreon; get my ass swole ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: No, ass-backwards gender politics, but it still works? ... Jeb's Mom, Oakland Raiders season ticket holder ... An infinite number of peaceably coexisting dirtbag communities: The America we want to live in ... Partner Chat: Danny is a pud; otherwise enjoyable; Conviction-era Emily Kinney fan ... Rating: 3.5; perfect execution of Hallmark middle-tier ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Danny Holland career comps: better than Tom Brady's first 7 seasons ... Arena-league player scale ... You named your dog after Newt Gingrich ... Fantastic Dane ... Theismann's method approach to lower-body injury ... Theismann to DeLuise: Touchdown! ... "Hey, you DO know something about football" ... Background football 24/7 ... (Brief) Hayley Sales Appreciation Station ... 16 episodes of Crown Bench ... Kevin Tighe Emergency! ... Ron Silver tendrils ... Idiot Elliot's patriarchal privilege ... Ocean's 12 with a 30lb. bag of dog food ... Terry Ingram and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle ... Mike Kafka Appreciation Station ... Losing a roommate, gaining dental care ... MVP: Emily Kinney ... Dave's lustrous coat ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Not As Much As Football," by Mojo Nixon • "All Kinds of Time," by Fountains of Wayne • "Thé à la Menthe (Instrumental)," by La Caution • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Orchestral Sports Theme (Lighter)," by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

Previous Episode

undefined - 055 - The USS Walter Mondale Love Cruise

055 - The USS Walter Mondale Love Cruise

We sail away from SAILING INTO LOVE (2019) and: "I think it's great" ... THEME ... Seattle Pilots ... Dickie Thon (redux) ... Dave Lopes, Grant Balfour ... Swaddled in torpor ... Four Weddings and a Funeral, on paper ... Plot with no wake ... Instant bread podcast ... The Expositional Challenge ... I got nothin' ... Plot mop-up and island love ... Boy falls in water ... Welcome back to Costner Chat ... BREAK ... Still so featureless ... Spot the Angel: Nobody ... Like a table read ... Fiona Vroom: The Dean Acheson of the Hallmark family of brands ... Eat Your Heart Out: Minimalist dining; Kate-upsetting chowder; Hallmark in Maine; suspiciously beige; penne and Aussie wine; Last Ship nostalgia; family-annihilating unkillable Master Chief ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Gus Van Houten's Resort Paradise vs. Lucky In Love and Northern Lights of Christmas ... Overdetermined: Nothing, but also Tom quitting over a street conversation ... Crossover: Into the Blue, Striking Distance and Grey's Anatomy ... Only the driest and most odorless sex ... BREAK ... Letters to Santa: Transcontinental best-friendship ... The Build-a-Buré Workshop: Christmas in July, zero research on Australia, Bryan Brown, Midnight Oil, Luke Prokopec, Natalia Imbruglia and AC/DC ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: No ... Partner Chat: Appropriately medicating ... Rating: 1 (soporifically) ... Leah Renee, underserved ... Leah Renee's earlier music career ... Busytown Mysteries ... Dave's Willow Bay nostalgia ... Garry Garneau, Aaron Rodgers, Colin Jost and Peyton Manning ... What about my snacks??? ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Insanity," by Leah Renee • "iBF (Imaginary Boyfriend)," by Leah Renee • "Break the Ice," by John Farnham • "Orinoco Flow," by Enya • "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, with Rick Murnane

Next Episode

undefined - 057 - Wetwork for the America Pageant

057 - Wetwork for the America Pageant

Sara Rue makes the leap and joins the pantheon in ALL FOR LOVE (2017) and we must get buff for: The further vindication of Sara Kate Wilkinson ... THEME ... Semper Christmas ... Lorenzo Lamas is Snake Eater 2 ... Journalism isn't a prank call ... Getting fired ... Real troop tropes ... Will Sara Rue make The Leap into the Pantheon? ... Funny people in Hallmark humanely kidding the text ... The acting strictures of Hallmark rules ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge: The Most Beautiful Bean Footage ... Plot cleanup ... Sara Rue's second Hallmark quit ... Too slow on the five ... Pickup artist Chris Russo ... Mystery Francesa ... Spot the Angel: Teryl Rothery, editor publisher, matchmaker, secular angel ... Rothery as a condition ... Method writing ... The harrowing act of fact-checking ... Journalismism: No fact-checkers even for non-fiction; missing having editors; the shame of error; editorial motivation via appeal-to-emotion; Denim Dreams, The Fathom of a Heart; "writers have a whole team"; Lowell Bingely of the Manhattan Monitor; Glenn Greenwald, L. Brent Bozell III and the guy from First Things; a fully realized mad world ... BREAK ... Let Every Muscle in Your Body Get Strong: Was this authentic SEAL training?; lorem ipsum troop reverence next to a summer camp obstacle course; public park exercises; sorry-ass sit-ups; magenta top, bunny earmuffs; improper sore-muscle care; the Canadian vision of the US military; Tiny could blog; Yoda breathing; smell the Philadelphia daisy; yoga ignorance; the second woman in a bathing suit and man without a shirt; permanent 1990/childish cultural signifiers; flawless sore form, imbalanced SEAL ... Eat Your Heart Out: Housing an entire pizza; the debut of quasi-ramen; the Meat Lovers glisten; concentrating on high-lipid effluent; Steve Bacic's tremendous "have another slice" dad power ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: The Mistletoe Inn Workshop vs. The Tri-State Area Party Shopping Spree and networking ... Putting Sara Rue in floral prints ... Overdetermined: I'd rather be celibate than try again; we don't mention Todd; the Eternal Todd; couples field trip to The Todd; line-crossing meta-conversation; always knowing more than the leads ... Crossover: Colin in a post-9/11 fascist killfest; in the unit with Chris Kyle; not-remembering Navy Seals; positive Kevin Smith reference; heroic prisoner-stabbers ... BREAK ... Letters to Santa: Learning to ride a bike for love v. Carley's chocolate-sound correction, watch-along recommendation and a question about brain mush ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: A reluctant no, and a main character unconcerned about the outside world ... Nephew volcano expert and Murder He Wrote ... Maine accents ... Partner Chat: She's one of the "scared of everything" ones ... Rating: 2.5 ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Sara Kate's 9/11 theory, now and forever ... Kenyan Pirates vs. The Global Helpers ... Navy SEALS are not your props ... No GWOT, Hallmark's "The End of History" ... Not enough angry cops ... Chocolate reward ... Fearing international travel in the Tri-State Area ... Teen body paranoia in the pool ... Romance novelists know breasts ... Halls of Macadamia ... Thank you, Tiny ... David Bloom, Okja co-star ... Ten feet of silent valet parking ... Semper Christmas! ... • MUSIC: "The A-Team Theme," by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter • "Moon River," by Andy Williams • "Yes Sir, No Sir," by The Kinks • "Greetings (This Is Uncle Sam)," by The Monitors • "Fanfare for the Common Man," by Emerson, Lake and Palmer • All other music by Chris Collingwood of

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