Let's Talk About Sex: Be Your Own Valentine
02/14/22 • 50 min
Well, aunties, we’ve come to that point in our episodic relationship where the conversation turns to love and sex. ‘Tis the season for roses and boxed chocolates after all.
Red and pink pile-up aside, Valentine’s Day does present an excellent opportunity for me to ask a trio of esteemed folks about engaging in “those” types of discussions with the younger set.
This auntie chat has tons of advice and resources from wise adults that I wish I’d had access to when I was growing up: Karen Yates is a somatic sex educator and host of the podcast Wild & Sublime; triple-threat Andrea Fellows Fineberg is a librettist, director of community engagement at Santa Fe Opera as well as host of Key Change, one of the organziation’s podcasts; and Helen King is a New Zeland-based podcast editor and host of The C Word Radio.
I’m thrilled that our understanding of consent has expanded and that those lessons are shared earlier now (yay!). On the flip side, body shame and fear of nonbinary expressions of gender persists (boo!). So, how should aunties proceed?
With love, of course, that’s our superpower!
Clear-eyed honesty, too, when it comes to any topic––but especially love and sex-–is also one of our superpowers (we’ve so many!). However, a question submitted to the “Ask Aunties” segment of this episode tests the possible limits of auntie honesty. My guests provide the most thoughtful (and honest!) answers, as you'd expect.
Ultimately, we aunties are at our best when we’re present for conversations about sex and love, vulnerable in answering, and as joyfully curious about the topic as those asking the questions.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEThe Simpsons Valentine’s clip - You choo-choo-choose me
Julián is a Mermaid - Jessica Love
Scarleteen: Sex Education For the Real World
S.E.X: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide To Get You Through Your Teens And Twenties - Heather Corinna
To Raise a Boy: Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, and the Hidden Struggles of American Boyhood - Emma Brown
Bookshop.org (gift shopping that supports indie bookstores AND Improve With Auntie)
CONNECT WITH OUR GUESTSThe Wild & Sublime Podcast – Wild & Sublime
Andrea Fellows Fineberg
Cancer Support | The C Word Radio
Join the Round Table Share the Love in our Auntie Tip Jar Get on our Cool Auntie email listAsk your question for "Ask Aunties", share a "Proud Auntie" moment, tell a "How NOT to Auntie" tale. Upload audio files here.
Or email your story to Andrea: andrea [at] thecreativeimpostor.com
@improvewithauntie - Instagram
***
Produced by The Creative Impostor Studios
Edited by Andrea Klunder
Technical Director Edwin R. Ruiz
Music Curation & Sound Design by Andrea Klunder
Show Notes by Lisa Widder
Original Cover Art by Cindy Alcantara
Learn more and visit us at ImproveWithAuntie.com
Well, aunties, we’ve come to that point in our episodic relationship where the conversation turns to love and sex. ‘Tis the season for roses and boxed chocolates after all.
Red and pink pile-up aside, Valentine’s Day does present an excellent opportunity for me to ask a trio of esteemed folks about engaging in “those” types of discussions with the younger set.
This auntie chat has tons of advice and resources from wise adults that I wish I’d had access to when I was growing up: Karen Yates is a somatic sex educator and host of the podcast Wild & Sublime; triple-threat Andrea Fellows Fineberg is a librettist, director of community engagement at Santa Fe Opera as well as host of Key Change, one of the organziation’s podcasts; and Helen King is a New Zeland-based podcast editor and host of The C Word Radio.
I’m thrilled that our understanding of consent has expanded and that those lessons are shared earlier now (yay!). On the flip side, body shame and fear of nonbinary expressions of gender persists (boo!). So, how should aunties proceed?
With love, of course, that’s our superpower!
Clear-eyed honesty, too, when it comes to any topic––but especially love and sex-–is also one of our superpowers (we’ve so many!). However, a question submitted to the “Ask Aunties” segment of this episode tests the possible limits of auntie honesty. My guests provide the most thoughtful (and honest!) answers, as you'd expect.
Ultimately, we aunties are at our best when we’re present for conversations about sex and love, vulnerable in answering, and as joyfully curious about the topic as those asking the questions.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEThe Simpsons Valentine’s clip - You choo-choo-choose me
Julián is a Mermaid - Jessica Love
Scarleteen: Sex Education For the Real World
S.E.X: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide To Get You Through Your Teens And Twenties - Heather Corinna
To Raise a Boy: Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, and the Hidden Struggles of American Boyhood - Emma Brown
Bookshop.org (gift shopping that supports indie bookstores AND Improve With Auntie)
CONNECT WITH OUR GUESTSThe Wild & Sublime Podcast – Wild & Sublime
Andrea Fellows Fineberg
Cancer Support | The C Word Radio
Join the Round Table Share the Love in our Auntie Tip Jar Get on our Cool Auntie email listAsk your question for "Ask Aunties", share a "Proud Auntie" moment, tell a "How NOT to Auntie" tale. Upload audio files here.
Or email your story to Andrea: andrea [at] thecreativeimpostor.com
@improvewithauntie - Instagram
***
Produced by The Creative Impostor Studios
Edited by Andrea Klunder
Technical Director Edwin R. Ruiz
Music Curation & Sound Design by Andrea Klunder
Show Notes by Lisa Widder
Original Cover Art by Cindy Alcantara
Learn more and visit us at ImproveWithAuntie.com
Previous Episode
Laughing, Crying: Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence, like sharing, is one of those competencies that’s best acquired early on. Anyone with access to an auntie has an advantage here. But my roundtable guests Pam Covarrubias, Caren Evers, and Lisa Widder all agree that they’ve received just as much as they’ve given when it comes to emotional intelligence. Possibly even more.
Aunties play a significant role in reinforcing a child’s ability to assess, express, and work with their emotions.
From navigating playground disagreements to sleepover cliques, an auntie can bring into focus aspects of a situation that parents might take for granted–– Caren points out that our ability to observe in this way often means we’re more acutely affected since our time with the ones we love is limited.
It turns out I’m battling some of the same patriarchal messages that my roundtable aunties experienced growing up, such as girls remaining genial at all costs and boys stoic.
Lisa's pleased to see that needle moving. She points out that kids receive more encouragement to explore and examine their feelings in real time now.
Pam says that her role as an auntie is to provide more overt emotional support to her nieces and nephews than she experienced growing up.
Don’t mind us. We’re just a few aunties vanquishing outdated norms and helping the world cultivate greater emotional intelligence.
***
Join the Round Table Share the Love in our Auntie Tip Jar Get on our Cool Auntie email listAsk your question for "Ask Aunties", share a "Proud Auntie" moment, tell a "How NOT to Auntie" tale, or send us some photos of your fave holiday gifts for our IG. Upload photos or audio files here.
Or email your story or pics to Andrea: andrea [at] thecreativeimpostor.com
@improvewithauntie - Instagram
***
Produced by The Creative Impostor Studios
Edited by Maddie Shewchuk & Andrea Klunder
Technical Director Edwin R. Ruiz
Music Curation & Sound Design by Andrea Klunder
Show Notes by Lisa Widder
Original Cover Art by Cindy Alcantara
Learn more and visit us at ImproveWithAuntie.com
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