I'm Not Allowed To Watch The News

No one is writing laws for me.

I'm not rich enough for one party or poor enough for another. I'm not old enough or young enough or sick enough or healthy enough for either major political party to take any interest in my problems.

They'll make sure I can have a gun or an electric car, but my real priorities, like effective and affordable healthcare or the conquest of Belgium are always somehow out of the question.

They will, however, take my tax money.

The dogs and I try to figure out exactly what we're good for on this episode of I'm Not Allowed To Watch The News.

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How does this end?

It's a strange question for the first episode, but hang in there. My story gets better.

The political system of the United States of America in the 21st century is a lot like Thanksgiving Day at my mother's house--dysfunctional, expensive, and makes you a little nauseous.

It will end, but it’s not going to end well.

The dogs and I get into politics and the history of empires, on the first ever episode of I'm Not Allowed To Watch The News.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the early days of the American Republic, Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury, argued that a certain amount of national debt was a good thing.

There was no way a country that was four days old was going to be able to raise the tax revenue it needed to pay the president or build a navy or anything like that.

So it had to borrow. Probably from the Dutch. During the American Revolution, the French sent ships, the Dutch sent money, and Belgium sat the whole thing out, too busy perfecting their chocolate recipe to help establish the world’s first republican-style democracy or support freedom from tyranny.

Just you wait, Belgium. You’ll get what’s coming to you.

America started borrowing money while the ink was still wet on the Declaration of Independence, but that was to serve the British Empire with its eviction notice from the colonies. Once the Constitution was ratified, we needed cash to fund laws like the one calling for lighthouses to be built along the coast, and I think we can all agree those aren’t cheap. Hamilton’s idea was that revenue from the postal service and a tax on whiskey would pay that money back.

He was a wine-drinker himself, so that whiskey tax wasn’t going to be a problem.

For him. For now.

As it turned out, America needed to borrow more money to raise an army to put down the Whiskey Rebellion. Talk about your chickens coming home to roost.

But the debt was eventually paid by all those offsets, which Hamilton called a “sinking fund.”

Borrow money, assign a revenue source to pay it back in full.

Sounds pretty simple. Except, somehow, it’s not.

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Do you ever think about why you vote for a particular political party?

Maybe you’re a Democrat because you really love the way that James K. Polk got us Texas, California, and Oregon in the 1840’s, despite the objections of Abraham Lincoln.

Maybe you’re a Republican because you think Abraham Lincoln was right to oppose the deal, even if it means we don’t get to keep Oregon.

Sorry, Oregon.

You might be a Republican because your great-grandpappy has been one since that time William Howard Taft got stuck in the White House bathtub in 1911.

You might be a Democrat because your grandma swooned over that dreamy John F. Kennedy when he nearly ran for Vice President in 1956.

Maybe you want to vote for a party that says they’ll do something about climate change, healthcare, student loan debt, and get you a discount on an electric car or solar panels.

Maybe you want to vote for a party that says they’ll do something about abortion rates, tax rates, immigration, and get you a discount on your annual United Nations dues.

Whatever the reason, is it something you give a lot of thought to?

Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t. If you’re a member of the Exhausted Majority, you pick one because there are only two choices. You vote with a shrug.

The dogs—who truly understand blind loyalty—and I dig into partisanship, and how it’s destroying America. And if you think the party you keep voting for has been the same party this whole time, I’ve got some bad news for you, on this episode of I’m Not Allowed To Watch The News.

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The dogs and I are starting a GoFundMe campaign to raise five billion dollars. We have a pretty big purchase in mind.

We’re going to buy the Congress of the United States.

Get your credit cards out and start making your legislative wish lists, as the dogs and I plan to purchase one of America’s three branches of government on this episode of I’m Not Allowed To Watch The News.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.