I Trip Over Flat Surfaces

A life lesson and how we see others, and how others see us.

This is our third episode in season 3, and we are discussion what life looks like on the other side of fear. My guest is Ann Okafor, who is determined to make a difference in guiding anyone is who is interested in construction or STEM disciplines.

What does it look like on the other side of fear? Well in this episode you will learn you will see and have more freedom on the other side of fear. Anne talks about her great fear of the dentist, and how she had to work through the fear for the good of her health. Anne says fear has held her back, and been a barrier from opportunities.

Anne touched on something in this episode I don't think is mentioned often, and that is how tiresome fear can be to have. She touches on how she didn't realize how tiring until she was on the other side of her dental phobia. She was always anxious about what people would think, turning down opportunities to speak, or smiling. All of the anxiety was impacting her health. Anne, "So you, when you're in that moment of fear, you're apprehensive, you're nervous. You've got emotional feelings, but sometimes very physical, symptoms of your fears as well. You know, it can make you physically ill. You can give you a sore tummy, it can, almost shut you down sometimes.".

In this episode we talk about how, like Anne, can take one step at a time to get up close to your fear, confront your fear, and move to the other side of fear. This doesn't mean you will not still have some fear, but by taking control of how that fear impacts your life has large benefits. It took a larger goal of wanting to succeed in her carrier that made Anne confront her dental phobia. She had to first look at her fear to help understand where the fear was coming up. She then had something larger as a goal that helped her look at, and move towards that fear. She took things one step at a time. She had a plan, and then she decided as hard as it was she would work on that plan. You will hear her talk about how great she felt on the other side of that fear after putting in the work.

Doesn't the other side of fear sound like where you want to be? I think Anne gives a good way to break up the heavy burden of managing fear into steps to work to the other side of fear. I personally think the key to doing this is finding that one thing that will help you stay determined to a plan to work through your fear. What that one thing could be for you could be anything, it's different for everyone. Just decide what that thing is and hold onto. Maybe it's wanting to live overseas as an example, but you have the fear of leaving the life you have now to start something new. I mean, that's a, that's a lot that's overwhelming. It seems. And it does seem scary. So start looking at your fear, start pulling back the various types of fear you have that overlay, the fear of leaving, pull those back with a plan. And when you're working on that plan, make sure you consider options available to you that seem a bit out of scope or odd at firs. This was hypnosis for Anne and I would've never thought about that, but you know, in itself there is fear in looking to get help. Anne said to help you develop and stay with a plan, find sympathetic support. So important, isn't it! Support that is healthy and genuine, support that can help you define your fear layers.

You know, the other side of fear can allow for a life you never thought of, you've ever imagined, and getting there can be in your control.

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www.itripoverflatsurfaces.com
Instagram: @ITOFSPODCAST
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GUEST INFORMATION: Anne Okafor
Website: http://www.anneokafor.co.uk

I cannot believe it has been a year since the podcast launched. So much has happened over the year, and I am very thankful to have you here with me! Season 3 starts today, and in this season we are talking about fear. Fear can manifest in many forms, and this season we will explore some of those forms. In this episode you will meet Phyllis Ginsberg, M.A., MFT. Phyllis is the author of Brain Makeover - A Weekly Guide to a Happier, Healthier, and more Abundant Life, and Tired and Hungry Not More.

Phyllis and I talk about why we fear, and how we disguise fear. We even touch on how we teach fear, or pass it to others. We all have some type of fear, and I think there are different ways we can deal with or manage fear; however, there are times we just need to continue on in life while still feeling fear. Phyllis says this about fear, "Fear is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. When I look back at the 30 plus years that I have been working with individuals of all walks of life as a therapist, as a person who has expertise in high conflict, divorce, child abuse, and domestic violence the common factor is these people have been in fear. So it got me started thinking about what is it in our brain that actually creates that fear response and how come we get so stuck in fear to where it can be debilitating or that's all we're focused on is that one problem or a whole array of problems rather than being able to shift to something else."

We talk about how fear comes in many layers or forms, such as self-sabotage, negative self-talk, embarrassment, dread, and even laziness and procrastination. Phyllis believes most of us grew up in households where you didn't talk about anything that really mattered; or we grew up in a household where there was a lot of conflict. Fear of conflict is huge, and most people will avoid it at all costs. Phyllis points out that we first need to start having conversations like this podcast episode to discuss fear and how it impacts our lives. That we first need to peel back those layers to get to the bottom of why we are feeling the fear so then we can work on those individual reasons. Phyllis has a simple but impactful method to reason out just how much fear we have in our daily life and how much it controls our decisions. She starts off by asking, "What percentage of decisions do you think you make out of fear". She then goes on to uncover some of the layers by asking about the decisions made around fears for loyalty to friends and family, fear related to fitting in or belonging, fear of being physically or emotionally hurt, and fear related to staying within your comfort zone. When Phyllis asked me these questions my original response had to be updated based on her more specific questions. My guess is yours would as well.

Understanding the layers or variations of fear can allow us to understand why we make some of the decisions we do. This can help us look deeper in ourselves to try and determine the root of that fear, and stepping in the right direction to work through the fear. To do this we will have to start working to make a change to our thoughts. Phyllis's motto for living life with fear is, ". If you want something different, you have to do something different on purpose."

Very special thanks to Jake for my new podcast music!

GUEST INFORMATION: Phyllis Ginsberg
www.phyllisginsberg.com/
instagram.com/phyllisginsberg/
facebook.com/phyllis.ginsberg/ and facebook.com/groups/463851777439525

Support the podcast! Follow the podcast where you listen please.
Give the podcast a five star rating and/or a written review (even better). Written reviews let's others know they can find encouragement here too.
itripoverflatsurfaces.com
Instagram: @ITOFSPODCAST
Email: [email protected]

I have some news!

About a month ago I felt a shift. It was something that I was obedient to and in doing that I felt a shift in my trajectory in life and that some other things were going to start to happen and change.

I believe obedience is spiritual warfare and I have been saying for awhile that I want my life's movie line to be "say when". l I want to get to a point when God directs me to do something I obey, and so I am obeying in this as well.

Thank you so much to all of you who have stayed with me on this journey. You have been a blessing, and I hope you have found encouragement and hope in these episodes.

Please take a listen to my final message.