I Don't Even Own a Television

With tramps like these, hoo boy, do things get real and stay there in a hurry as your humble hosts pop their clutches and tell Mercedes Lackey and Larry Dixon's Born to Run: A Novel of the SERRAted Edge to eat their dust! It's another novel of the urban fantastique, with an Irish pub described as "straight-edge", a couple battle scenes where you can really see the graph paper underneath the characters, and some of the most improbable radio playlists imaginable, and, as a novel of (sigh) the urban fantastique, one of us slides right off it and the other digs his eldritch fangs right into it. But not like that, the other way.

NOTE: This novel, while mostly lighthearted, does traffic in material related to child sexual abuse and exploitation, in way reminiscent of a particularly tawdry episode of SVU.

NOTE 2: Clsn now realizes he missed a good opportunity to pronounce it "elfs" throughout the episode and regrets the error.

Recommendations:

• Upright Women Wanted, by Sarah Gailey
• Everything Everywhere All at Once
• Death Among the Undead, by Masahiro Imamura
• Seinfeld Bass Riff Variations

Music:

• "Guinnesses" by MF DOOM (feat. 4Ize & Angelika
• "Shamrocks and Shenanigans" by House of Pain
• "Jesus Built My Hotrod (Redline/Whiteline Version" by Ministry

No, it's not a new made-up term for a sexual position—as far as we know!—it's the new Lucy Foley joint, The Paris Apartment! It's darker than a wine cellar, twistier than an alley in your favorite arrondissement, but, unfortunately, about as eventful as an afternoon sighing with ennui over a couple of Gauloises and a well-nursed café au lait in a Left Bank café.

Pat your new Karen O. fringe into an appealing dishevelment, make your best face to express that you have the darkest of dark secrets and make sure you've got a skeleton key for all your neighbors' places, because it's time to take a trip into what some people are calling ... la'part-a-ment Parisienne, but what we know to call The Paris Apartment.

Recommendations:

• Paul Tremblay, The Pallbearer's Club
• Jane Peck, The Verifiers
• Diane Duane, The Door into Fire plus The Worst Bestsellers Ep on it!

Mood Music:

• "Heads Will Roll" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• "Bastille Day" by Rush

It took a while, but the world finally made us go back to Lee Child, so here we are: Make Me. Yes, down these manicured streets a man must go who is not himself manicured, who is neither wearing cologne nor designer clothes. The detective in this kind of story must be such a man. He must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man (pauses, sips coffee, explains joke).

So it's another long walk with Jack Reacher, full of long descriptions of diners, short rants about leg room on airplanes, and a whole lot of bottomless cups of coffee. Oh, and bone-splintering acts of violence. Lots and lots of those. Mostly those, actually. Not a whole lot of anything else that I can remember, actually. But I'm certain that for a certain kind of reader, it's just a non-stop ride of thrills and chills. For us, it's an occasion for bellyaching. So all aboard the IDEOTV Train -- next stop, fun!

CONTENT WARNING: This book's plot revolves around self-harm and suicide and people's plans to take their own lives, and includes some descriptions of torture. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number is: 1-800-273-8255.

Recommendations:

• "The Glass Essay", by Anne Carson
• "What Was It Like to Be a Nintendo Game Play Counselor?", by Annie Zaleski

Music:

• "Wild Mountain Nation" by Blitzen Trapper
• "Travellin' Man" by DJ Honda (feat. Mos Def)
• "Train Song" from MST3K

Wow, what is there to say about John Steakley's Armor? Strap on your favorite defense mechanisms and join J. and Collision as they try to answer this difficult question about a novel that dares to answer the less difficult question "what if Starship Troopers were incredibly stupid and repetitive?". Yes, we take on Armor, the book that should have been called A Constant Reminder of Better Books: The Book. As a read, Armor is a terrible slog that looks you square in the eye and shows you atrocities while growling "war...is heck" before bafflingly pivoting to whimsical wisecracking and brief interludes of rough sex. This read was not the smoothest ride, is what we're saying.Anyway, lots of fun this time around, as we reminisce, we rant, we rave, we riff, we just in general rue the day we read this wretched collection of strenuously brutal action scenes and quarter-baked philosophical musings. Yes, this is one of those books where, when you're struggling to say something nice, you end up saying "there was this literally one joke? that I didn't hate?". Enjoy the proceedings as we wrestle with a book that's not just mediocre ... it's very mediocre. Protective plating and safety eyewear recommended!

NOTE: our first post-Patreon episode, this one features excellent new microphones! Unfortunately, due to the unforeseen obstacles of life, there was some construction going on outside, so there may be a little extra buzzing and banging in the background, over which we had zero control and for which we have all the apologies.

Recommendations:

• Bible Adventures, Gabe Durham
• The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Muriel Spark

Music:

• "Turnstile" by Hot Water Music
• "War Pigs" as performed by Cake
• "Wargasm" by L7
• "Ants in My Pants" by James Brown

Sometimes you want to go where every pun will cause you pain -- so grab your wallet, stoke your thirst, and join J. and Collision in Spider Robinson's Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, where every man gets his chance to be heard, every pun gets its chance to get aired, and several women step up to help a man laugh, love, live, and learn just a little bit about himself and his feelings. Come to Callahan's for the booze, but stay for what some listeners are calling the greatest musical segment in podcast history.

Recommendations:

• Moxyland, Lauren Beukes
• American Gods, Neil Gaiman

Music:

• "Drink!" by They Might Be Giants
• Unearthed recording of Bobbi Joy
• "the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot
• "Joy and Pain" by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock