How To Sex

A How-To guide for Those terrified about the other sex.

With contributions from DG Hear. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Throughout the years dating has changed. Those who have gone back into dating in recent years, for whatever reason, have probably found it's a whole new ball game. But more than a few people enter their twenties, still terrified to initiate a romantic venture.

Some are still impacted by traumatic events of their youth. Still others are limited because of harmful indoctrination by an influential person whose even more screwed up. And some are just simply so shy, and terrified that they might face rejection, or even ridicule.

Folks re-entering the dating scene, later in life, have a similar anxiety, because of societal changes, over time.

Most cultures still expect a guy to take the initiative. While gals are not scorned for overtly expressing interest first; the reality is that ladies are generally feeling even more anxiety about the elusive first date.

One of the easiest ways to ‘break the ice’ is with eye contact and a warm smile, while greeting someone you have particular interest in. If the other person is ‘caught off guard’ you might not get an immediate affirmation of their interest. But be patient. They’ll think about it and make adjustments upon re-engagement with you; usually by their own initiative.

Teens have this crazy notion of establishing a ‘going with’ status, rather than simply having one social event together. Kids tell you who they’re ‘going with’ even though they never went anywhere.

If your cordial relationship seems mutually reciprocated, It’s time to ask; “Can I take you out on a date?”
If that works out well, Have the date soon. It doesn’t need to be a big event, or include expensive meals or concerts.

The truth is, what you both really are looking forward to is, each other. Trust me, a girl will text her girlfriend after, and she won’t talk about the places she went to, she’ll talk about the guy who took her there.

When you’re first date is nearly over, ask to hold her hand as you walk to the car, or to her home. An enthusiastic response means she likes you. She may want you to kiss her when you say ‘good night.’

Be sure to get all her contact info before the date is over. And send her a text within a day, thanking her for sharing a date with you.
Take some time to assess if you want a 2^nd date, or if what you really want is someone else. Separate, in your mind, whether it’s her you like, or dating, itself.

Getting past your first brave dating effort is a huge accomplishment, and you should feel great about it. If you’re still looking for the ‘right one,’ your next effort will be easier than your first brave act. But how do you find the kind of person you really want to pursue?

Let’s hear more from DG, about getting into the dating arena.

How to find someone to date:

To begin, we need to know some of the places to find someone willing to go out with us. This shouldn't be too hard to do. I might say, before I start that, most of my comments and helpful hints are mainly for the male gender, but some ladies might find some interesting facts as well.

Malls and movie houses can be a good place to meet people as well as the Laundromat and your local bars and lounges. A nicer way is if you are lucky enough to have friends to help you find that right person. If all else fails, you can go on-line and find a friend or nowadays we have rent-a-date escort services. If you can't find at least a hooker then you might as well stop reading now. I can't help you. Just buy your hand a beer and watch a porno movie.

Even though this is some serious stuff I'm explaining to you, we still might find a laugh or two.

Kissing used to be easy, but not anymore. First, let's deal with braces. If your woman (this stuff is for adults) wears braces, be very careful and kiss her lips very softly. If you apply too much pressure, her lips will push against her gums and cut the hell out of the inside of her lips and your date will be over before it began.

If you both wear braces, you might stick to kissing on the cheek only. If you get caught in a big lip lock, you might g...

Young Brittni shares tips and advice on the art of deepthroating.

By Brittni4u. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.

On the internet in general, there are several stories and guides posted on the subject of giving blowjobs. Many of them are great and give various techniques and opinions on how to enhance oral sex on a guy. Once again, I'm not claiming to be an expert, especially at the young age of 22, but I do have skill, experience and above all, enthusiasm. In this post, I'm focusing on the deepthroating aspect because I feel over time I have gotten pretty good at it and want to pass my knowledge along so that I may help others.

Deep what?

I believe there are three levels of deepthroating, so the answer to all those questions are; yes!

· A stage one deepthroat is the first type I mentioned which most girls can do.

· A stage two deepthroat is more difficult and fewer can keep the cock in their throat for an extended period of time.

· And finally, a stage three deepthroat is the most difficult to perform and a low percentage of people can continually suck a cock while deepthroating it continuously every time they go down.

If you are one of the lucky few that can give your guy a stage three deepthroat, he will be a very happy person. Deepthroating not only allows him to feel his entire cock into a warm, moist orifice, it also excites his mind seeing every inch disappear in your mouth.

My last serious boyfriend had a long cock. It wasn't freakish big, but was just over 8 inches. He couldn't believe how easily I could deepthroat it while I blew him. He became obsessed about it and together we would look up deepthroating porn on the internet.

There are some amazing deepthroating videos out there but no one porn star that I had ever seen was better than a girl named Heather Brooke. Have any of you seen her work? Oh, my god, she is the deepthroat queen, with no peers. If you haven't seen her, I strongly advise looking her up on the internet.

Obstacles to overcome

The two factors that prevent someone from deepthroating are either physical or psychological. The physiological makeup of people is what determines the largest portion of their deepthroating skill. The physical barriers include the gag reflex in which we all hear the most about, throat length, cock thickness which is much more of a hindrance in deepthroating over cock length, among others.

Many times, our skill level is predetermined but I do believe we can improve it. I cannot walk up to Ariana Grande and ask her to teach me to sing as good as she can; no more that I can ask Heather Brooke, ‘Please teach me to deepthroat like you.’

If you don't have the natural ability, you cannot be elite but you can get better and better with practice and it would be a shame to never realize your potential.

Even if you are great at deepthroating cock, it is a physiological certainty that those barriers, I mentioned, will still get in the way sometime. Even the elite will gag, cough, heave and eyes will water at some point during deepthroating. As you perfect your skill, those things will happen less often but they still will happen nonetheless. That is why you would not deepthroat a guy through an entire blowjob. It's physically impossible. I treat deepthroating like it's glitter on a poster. You add a little here and there but it makes the best statement at the end.

I think the psychological hurdle accounts for only a small portion but I wouldn't underestimate the effect it possesses. Girls, we all know when we have crossed over into extreme horniness; or what I call "lust mode." That may happen with alcohol, great foreplay, loving our partner, great lead up sex, or just a really hot guy who knows what he's doing. When you are in that state, that is the best time to attempt deepthroating. Lust mode may shed that "claustrophobic feeling" of having an object lodged in your throat if that is your psychological barrier. When you are uninhibited, you become more daring, experimental, and enthusiastic.

A good blowjob starts and ends with enthusiasm. You have to like sucking cock and you have to want to suck cock. I have questioned my girlfriends at length an...

Fundamentals, Types and Roles, Safety Rules, and More

By Nuna Alberts, LCSW. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

If you’ve ever fantasized about getting kinky in the bedroom, you’re not alone. The runaway success of E. L. James’s Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy of books; the three top-selling print and e-books in the United States between 2010 and 2019; not to mention the sales of the movies they generated, prove that interest in BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) is anything but rare.

BDSM can involve role playing, sensory manipulation, and more. Here are a few popular ways enthusiasts like to get kinky!

Prevalence: How Many People Practice BDSM?

Further proof: Nearly 47 percent of women and 60 percent of men have fantasized about dominating someone sexually, while slightly more women and less men are aroused by the idea of being dominated, according to a 2016 study. The same study also found that almost 47 percent adults would like to participate in at least one nontraditional type of sexual activity, and 34 percent said that they’d done so at least once in the past. No wonder if you search the phrase “BDSM” on Google it will return more than 500 million results. By comparison, the phrase “missionary sex” returns about 163 million results.

The History of BDSM: Not So New

Explore a little more and you’ll also discover that BDSM is nothing new. Among BDSM’s historical high points:

• Art and texts from ancient Greece and Rome show physical pain being used as an erotic stimulus, per the book An Illustrated History of the Rod, by William M. Cooper, first published in 1868.
• The Kama Sutra, the revered Sanskrit text on sexuality written in India about 2,000 years ago, describes six appropriate places to strike a person with passion and four ways to do it. It also has chapters titled “Scratching,” “Biting,” and “Reversing Roles.”
• The Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat who lived from 1740 to 1814, wrote a variety of erotic novels and short stories involving being beaten and beating others. Eventually the author’s name gave rise to the term “sadism.”
• Similarly, the term “masochism” is derived from the name of Austrian nobleman and author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose 1870 novel Venus in Furs describes a dominant-submissive relationship.
• Back in 1953, a Kinsey Institute study found that 55 percent of women and 50 percent of men were aroused by being bitten.
• And even pre-Fifty Shades of Grey, 36 percent of U.S. adults reported having had sex using masks, blindfolds, or other forms of bondage.

Is BDSM Still Considered a Medical Disorder?

At one time, mental health experts were dubious about whether those who practiced BDSM were mentally healthy. But the American Psychiatric Association took a huge step in destigmatizing kink with the release of the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in 2013. For the first time ever, the guidelines drew a clear distinction between consenting adults who engage in sexual behaviors outside the mainstream, such as BDSM, and those who force others to engage in those behaviors without consent.

That means simply experimenting with, say, whips and chains, is no longer a sign of mental illness that by itself “justifies or requires clinical intervention,” the manual states.

There are true sexual disorders that are similar in theme. Sexual sadism disorder, for instance, involves inflicting physical or psychological pain on another for the purpose of sexual pleasure. And sexual masochism disorder involves deliberately involving yourself in a situation in which you are humiliated, beaten, or abused for the purpose of sexual excitement.

The difference between these two disorders and BDSM is consent, in the case of sexual sadism disorder, and that BDSM does not go to the degree of causing significant distress or impairing function, in the cas...

Tie up your man and go to town.

By alf_2712. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Bondage sex is often associated with Sado Masochism. But that vaste generalization does a great disservice to a wide range of sexual proclivities. Each part of this grouping ought to be understood on it’s own attributes.

Bondage is simply adding real or perceived restrictions in a sexual encounter. It’s the fantasy of lost control over a situation which thrills many lovers. It often incorporates a fantasy scenario and some role-playing.

Sadism is the infliction of discomfort to a lover.

Masochism is a self-inflicted discomfort.

Today we’re hearing from Alfie, about her lover’s favorite kink. He allows himself to be restrained and subjected to sexual frustration, in the form of a very delayed ejaculation.

Healthy lovemaking of this sort may include switching roles, or may remain in fixed roles of a dominant & a submissive.

Sometimes it’s only a fantasy desired by one of them, yet the other lover plays a role simply to satisfy the other’s sexual sesires. Here’s Alfie.

My favorite Tease & Denial plot.

Spread eagle is my definitely my favorite bondage position. I love it. Tying at the feet is not always necessary, but the hands, absolutely. Even though a pair of cuffs in the middle do have their place, I’m a firm believer in hands at the corners. Some sort of strapping under the bed, whatever; we just want his arms out. Face up, of course.

You will need:

n a bed big enough for both of you

n some kind of restraint system already attached at all four corners of the bed frame, to tie his limbs outward, toward the four corners of the bed

n a bowl or basket containing:

A: a bottle of tasty massage oil,

B: a cock ring, and

C: a feather, furry mitt, or something which is very ticklish.

Besides these, the following are preferred;

n big tits If you’ve got them

n and minty gum can be nice.

No need for a blindfold. believe me, his eyes are your friend. You might also keep a glass of water, gotta keep those spit and sweat glands pumping. Ice water if you’re a bitch.

And a word on gagging. it’s up to you! But if you’re gonna gag, gag properly (i.e. rubber is better than your thong). Let’s get started! But let him breathe freely. His muffled voice is more for your experience of domination.

Get your man on your bed. Your face and hairdo should be impeccable and sultry, with lipstick mascara, and whatever else makes you look like a high-class slut. But somehow keep your hair from falling into your face on onto his oily body.

You want his to see your impeccable face and styled hair for the entire event.

If there’s a clock in the room, hide it.

Get him on his back and give him a kiss. A pillow under his head is good. And he’s naked, right? Completely naked? Dote on him and ask if he likes the position of the pillow. This doting just camouflages the torment you have planned for today.

You don’t have to be also naked, yet; but let your clothing help set a sensual mood. A Silky robe or his favorite lingerie is a good choice to start with.

Make focused attention on his comfort before you gently attach the restraints. Adjust the wrist restraints so you can fit one finger between the material and his skin. You want barely any wiggle room in his arms.

And his legs? Well, that’s up to you. Being bound on the bed and all accessible is going to make him squirm whether his legs are forced straight or not. I say leave em. But he might accidently hurt you if he suddenly flinches his legs.

Once all restraints are attached, extend each of his limbs and tighten the length up, so he’s truly spread-eagle and limited from squirming around during the event.

Tease and denial is the name of the game here. Or “edging” if you like. And edging it is.

We’ll be taking him right to the edge of an orgasm, more than a few times.

You know you’re doing well if you lose count. I hope your blowjob skills are up to date, ‘cause tongue is king here. Not to say it’s your only asset (it’s not). but subjecting him to excruciating pussy-torture can come a bit later.

In case it’s not clear already, this guide is written from a woman’s perspective; so if you’re not one, some parts o...

Weird Hormones and suppressed fetishes can make expecting, a delight.

By various parents. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.

A young and frisky married couple is contemplating having a baby. They’re seeking advice on lots of things, but the question that came to us is;

“What is sex like, during pregnancy and after?

Some details are straight-forward and answers are easy. Like;

It’s rare for an obstetrician to recommend any limits on sexual intercourse, and in those rare situations, Couples can utilize their other means of sexually satisfying each other’s cravings.

What a medical professional can’t tell you, is how your morning sickness and late term discomfort will take a toll on your libido. And then there are other hang-ups, like knowing your child is fractions of an inch from where daddy’s parts are rubbing mommy’s parts.

Pregnancy does amazing things to a woman’s complexion, and bustline. That usually draws her man’s attention. But the last weeks of pregnancy have common discomforts. But after delivery, her vagina needs a break for about 6 weeks. Couples sometimes have to put effort into getting back in the grove of sexual intimacy, only this time a baby can interrupt anything.

So it’s especially important to have great sex before a seasonal post-partum drought hits your sex life.

Well, we’re going to give you lots of perspectives, for couples who’ve been through this unique phase. Enjoy! Here’s what some experienced folks said;

First trimester it sucked. I was chronically sick, didn’t feel sexy, couldn’t orgasm , it was horrible. Second trimester a switch flipped , my vagina became engorged with blood , I feel tighter , hornier , wetter. I want my man now. I’m just blessed I have a homey who goes through this crazy cycle with me because now it feels so good and I can’t get enough of him but the first trimester sucked

InternalLevel

Fun. It forced my wife and me to explore a lot of new positions and techniques. I also got a lot better at oral because toward the end of pregnancy that was the easiest way for her to have an orgasm due to being limited to only a few positions.

Adventurous_Mind

With my first pregnancy it was great. I wanted to do it a lot of the time and could climax with just penetration what until that point had never happened before. Eventually, by week 34, PGP kicked in and there was nothing until 6-8 weeks after my c-section.

My third pregnancy was the opposite, I had severe morning sickness/nausea till week 15-16, then hardly had any sex drive till week 25 when I had a persistant pelvic pain and it was physically impossible to do it anymore. I can count on one hand how many times we had sex between finding out I was pregnant at 3 weeks gestation till 20 weeks after my c-section.

Complete Honesty

When my woman was pregnant - it was top tier sex. I Would recommend, if you’re partner is down for it!

Raven heart

I was in the mood all the time with all 5 of my pregnancies. The drawback is, after I had each one; my libido went on an extended vacation for a years or so, so I’d have to fake it, fake interest, fake the orgasms, all of it.

Then with pregnancies 4 and 5, each orgasm would cause my uterus to contract, even at 6 weeks pregnant it happened, making me not really want the orgasms. Odd shit

boys mom

I was in Japan for much of the pregnancy of our first son. I was home for our 2nd son’s pregnancy. I think I'd rather have been back in Japan! The wifey was insatiable! Monday thru Friday, at 5am, wham bam thank you ma'am!

5 Pm, wham bam thank you ma'am. On the weekends, it was thrice per day. Same with our third, a baby girl!

done good

I Dunno. I guess I was too gross for my hubby to even want it. He never tried. But the do-it-yourself release was epic.

Automatic_Plant

It was Tiring when she got a high sex drive spell. Oh, God! She had a honey spell for a whole week. I was right tired all week

Prairie Chocolate

Didn’t have it, husband stayed the fuck away from me, we only did it a few times during pregnancy and it was awful, especially at the end...