How To Sex

An essay on the history of Polyamory.

By darkgoddess2478. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or a combination thereof, according to the desires and agreement of the individuals involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. It is behaving in ways which are honest, and which make you, and the people you care about, and the people they care about happy and fulfilled. Polyamory is about building new configurations of relationships, being open to the opportunity if it comes along, not refusing commitments because something better might come loping down the path.

This is an interesting question. What is Polyamory? The definition above states it just simply as "loving more than one". Kathy Labriola defines Polyamory as an intense loving relationship between two or more people. Polyamory literally means many loves. Good enough for the simple definitions that tell you absolutely nothing important. Let's start with where the poly movement began.

Polyamory in the United States began as polygamy with Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Through a series of visions, Smith announced polygamy to his followers as a part of Mormon spirituality in 1843 and Brigham Young publicly announced this practice in 1852. Polygamy allowed men to marry more than one wife as long as he could provide for everyone in his family.

The Mormons were sexually conservative and rejected the ideals of romantic love, intense courtship and contraception. Sex was seen merely as a device for procreation. Extramarital affairs, premarital sex, and all sexual acts that would not directly lead to conception were strictly forbidden and enforced at a cost of death or emasculation. The reasoning stands that polygamy was not for the purpose of sex, but as a way to have as many children as possible.

Since the Christian doctrine did not allow for polygamy, the Mormons were the subject of hate from many sources, mainly Protestant missionaries and women writers who "attempted to emancipate plural wives from their alleged sexual slavery." (D'Emilio and Freedman 117) Even though our country preached freedom of religion, from the 1860's to the 1880's the federal government prosecuted Mormons who practiced polygamy. Given this opposition, the Mormons withdrew their approval for polygamy in 1890.

Most polyamorous families are not all married to one another. There is usually a primary couple who are married and the others who consider themselves married, but do not have an actual marriage certificate. Some of the families live together and others have separate living quarters where the father and husband visit frequently. In the families that live together, the child rearing and household responsibilities are shared. In all ethical cases, all the wives know about each other and support the decision of their husband taking on the new partner.

Kathy Labriola, a counselor and nurse, defines Polyamory as "an intense loving relationship between members of the same sex or those of the opposite sex". Some polyamorous people are married, others are single: Polyamorous people may be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. The Polyamorous system does not have to be a sexual system, but it can be.

Most of the cynicism given to Polyamory is due to people thinking Polyamory is for sexual practices. Kilbride in "Plural Marriage for our Times: A Reinvented Option?" states, In linking sexuality to marriage we generally view having multiple marital partners, as resulting predominately from sex drive.

Of the various reasons why plural marriage occurs, a sexual outlet is minimized within a wider, more general body of needs and functions considered important for both individuals and the wider society. This statement agrees that the practice of polygamy is not about sex. As was stated earlier, the Mormons used polygamy as a way of advancing their religion and baptizing their ancestors, not for greater sexual acts. The people who practice Polyamory today use Polyamory as a means of freedom of expression and bettering themselves as people. Since they have found tha...

What really happens when you take someone’s sex juices in your mouth?

By BareAmy83 & LePenseur. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Today we’re talking about the thrill of ministering to your sex partner’s wonderful playground right between two legs. And today we’re discussing the oral delight to the mouth. This is the safest sex act involving penetration. The first report comes from BareAmy83. She’s so delighted for all the health benefits she derives from her man’s semen. But it’s her story to tell, so here she is.

The Science of Cum Why Blowjobs Are a LOT Sexier Than You Ever Imagined.

Author’s Note: I have pooled various internet research, studies, facts and figures in order to give you an interesting way of looking at something we all may take for granted in our sexual lives: oral sex and the male ejaculation. I am by no means a scientist or doctor, and none of what you read is intended as medicinal advice, it’s just something that I found rather neat and slightly kinky, and want to share with anyone who has a passing interest in what happens when you go down on a man and swallow his cum.

Enjoy and happy blowjob giving!

PROLOGUE

Oral sex is one of the safest acts of sex between two people. There is absolutely no risk of pregnancy when a couple engages in pleasing each other orally. Bringing your partner to a satisfying climax is enjoyable for both the giver and the receiver. And for those of us who are sexual ‘submissives’, we are often called upon to orally please our Sir or Madam, or even other people.

While giving oral sex to a female can be incredibly rewarding, the focus of this essay is to focus on the immediate outcome of successful oral sex given to a man, by stimulating his penis with your mouth to the point of ejaculation.

And more to the point, what *actually* happens when a male ejaculates into someone’s mouth?

Sure, there’s a satisfying orgasm for that person, but for the person giving the blowjob, it goes beyond the simple receiving of semen into the mouth.

And, depending on how you look at it, the outcome from receiving that load of semen is either disgusting or sexy.

Personally, I feel it to be insanely sexy!

To understand what happens when you receive a load of semen in your mouth, let’s first talk about the area receiving most of the “action”: your tongue.

THE TONGUE

The human tongue is actually the largest muscle in your body. It aids in chewing and digestion, speaking and breathing. Your tongue runs from your hyoid bone (in the middle of your neck) to the floor of your mouth.

Your tongue is mostly made of muscles, anchored to your mouth by a web of strong tissue, and covered in mucosa (a moist pink lining that covers certain organs and body cavities). It is sensitive and kept moist by saliva and is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. The upper part of the tongue is covered by four different types of taste buds housed in lingual papillae:

Filiform: taking up the front 2/3rds of your tongue, they do not contain taste buds.

Fungiform: mushroom-like in appearance, they are on the sides and tip of your tongue, and consist of about 1,600 taste buds

Circumallate: small bumps on the back of the tongue, containing about 250 taste buds.

Foliate: rough golds of tissue, containing several hundred taste buds.

Taste buds are clusters of nerve cells that send sensory messages to your brain for five different tastes: sweet, salty, bitter, sour and savory. Although people think that different areas of the tongue taste different things, that is not true. All taste buds can detect the five tastes, but some are more sensitive towards certain tastes.

In total, the human tongue has from 2,000 to 8,000 taste buds. Each bud has 50 to 100 taste gustatory hairs, or receptors. These receptors pick up different chemicals and send a signal the brain that it has a particular nutrient in it that is either good or bad for the body.

A LITTLE ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

When a male ejaculates into the mouth cavity, a whitish fluid called semen is disgorged from the penis. Semen (also known as “ejaculate” or “cum” or even the slang term “seed”) consists of liquids from the prostat...

No matter your size, you can make it work for you.

By PolySwingerWife. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.

We’re taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact.

In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their ‘package’. Men who don’t have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence.

Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration.

Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women don’t like being stereotyped for having big tits.

Let’s hear from Evangelina Vargas, aka, Poly Swinger Wife. She’s married, but claims multiple sex partners.

Length vs Girth

It is often men who are concerned about cock size. I will admit that cock size can be an issue for some women, as well, but more often it is men who are the most concerned.

Men’s penises can be seen in gym locker rooms by other men, at nude beaches, and at nude resorts by both men and women. When penises are seen in these places, the penises are flaccid. Most men are not comparing their erect penises to other men’s erect penises in real life. When this occurs, it is usually while looking at or watching porn.

Since most penises are seen when they are flaccid, it is safe to assume that flaccid size is just as important as erect size.

Let’s say that two men are together, one man’s penis glans (head) is bigger than the other man’s entire penis. Could this be an issue? I believe so. Let’s now say that a woman is looking at these two men. Is she going to see both men as being equal, sexually or otherwise? Possibly not.

A person’s reaction to a man’s penis size can have lasting effects. And too often statements made about a smaller penis are rarely complimentary.

Imagine that you are a man, and more than once you have been told that your penis is “cute.” Does this foster a feeling of command, confidence, and masculinity? No. Conversely, if you are told that you are hung, or hung like a horse, does this foster a different feeling for the “hung” man? I believe so.

The size of a man’s penis often has a lot to do with how a man sees himself. How well he measures up will attribute to the man’s feelings of self-worth, and himself as a man.

It is said that flaccid size often has nothing to do with what the same penis will look like when erect. I agree, to a point. I believe that a man who has a flaccid penis that is 2.5 inches in length isn’t going to be as big when he is erect as a man who is 6.5 inches in length when he is flaccid.

A larger cock, when flaccid, may not grow much more when it is erect, but it may get thicker. So, let’s say that one man has a 4.5-inch erect penis that is 4.0 inches in circumference, and the other man has a 6.5-inch penis that is 5.0 inches in circumference when it is flaccid. I believe it is safe to assume that the larger flaccid penis is going to be the bigger penis when it is erect.

Many men fear being alone or rejected because of the size of their penis. This fear usually exists because of past ridicule of the man’s penis or the fear of that happening.

The Whole Clitoris Matters

Although most women care much less about men’s penis sizes, it has been noted that women who can, do, and enjoy vaginal orgasm prefer larger cock men. For women who don’t prefer vaginal orgasms, penis size is a far less pressing matter.

Studies have shown that fewer women can and do orgasm vaginally than those who orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Yet, it has also recently been proven that the clitoris is much larger than previously thought. Essentially, all women who experience orgasm, either through clitoral or vaginal stimulation, experience clitoral orgasms.

Why is this important? The reason many women can and do experience “vaginal” orgasm is that the penis rubs the clitoris on all sides. When looked at, the clitoris is not just the nub that most people think that it is. It actually covers much more ground. The “nub” is just the tip of the clitoris.

To put it crudely, the entir...

A discussion of Advanced Maturity and Sexuality

By Mark Stibich, PhD. Listen to the ► podcast at How To Sex.

Many people in their 70s and 80s are not only sexually active, but satisfied with their senior sex lives.

University of Michigan Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation. Let’s talk about sex. Though the frequency or ability to perform sexually may decline with age due to physiological changes, these don't necessarily affect how a person experiences or enjoys sex.

This article explores the sex lives of adults 65 and over and the problems that can interfere with sex as the body ages. It also discusses the various treatment options and ways to maintain—or even jumpstart—your senior sex life.

Studies suggest that men are almost twice as likely as women to still have sex or masturbate in their later years. A British study found close to 60% of men ages 70 to 80 and 31% of men ages 80 to 90 are still sexually active. In women, those figures drop to 34% and 14%, respectively.

This lower rate of sexual activity in older women may be due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of desire. Research shows that older women are less likely to have partners (due in large part to the fact that they often outlive their partners). This is sometimes referred to as "the partner gap."

It is common for men to experience sexual problems after age 40. Reasons include a natural decline in testosterone levels, heart disease, and prostate problems. The inability to achieve or sustain an erection or reach orgasm or ejaculation are common concerns.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (ED), formerly known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual penetration and long enough to achieve orgasm.

While ED is more common in older men, aging itself does not cause the problem. ED is related to conditions, sometimes several at once, that directly or indirectly interfere with erections.

Risk factors include high blood pressure, diabetic nerve damage, smoking, obesity, Peyronie's disease, depression, and even certain medications. An accurate diagnosis is needed to ensure the right treatment.

ED drugs like Viagra (sildenafil), Levitra (vardenafil), and Cialis (tadalafil) are often the first-line treatments for ED. Lifestyle changes and counseling can also help. For some men, hormonal therapy, penis pumps, and penile implants may be recommended.

Is There a Female Viagra?

Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia

Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is a non-cancerous enlarged prostate and one of the most common health problems in older males.6 BPH can cause symptoms like difficulty urinating, frequent urination, or waking up in the middle of the night to urinate (nocturia).

On top of this, BPH can cause sexual problems like low libido (low sex drive) and delayed ejaculation (difficulty reaching orgasm).

Among the treatment options, testosterone therapy may help restore libido. There are also certain drugs used off-label that may help with delayed ejaculation, including cabergoline (originally marketed as Dostinex) and Wellbutrin (bupropion).7

Because some ...

The dating world’s been flipping on its head.

With input by Blonde&Balanced and Dinsmore. Listen to the Podcast at How To sex.

Clearly, western culture has started failing to secure our survival. We saw it in western Europe, late in the last century. Plus, totalitarian Asian governments dictated it. We quit having enough babies to replace ourselves. We quit teaching our younger generations that a big part of existence is, creating more existence.

We delegated out so much of parenthood, that we quit associating with our roles in life.

Then we quit finding our identity in marriage. That ancient blending of the two halves of humanity. Boys increasingly started pleasuring other boys, and girls started preferring a romp with another girl.

Hell, with internet porn and sex toys, even gay relationships started taking the hit.

People are increasingly alone, and getting lonely. But for many of our fellow humans, that’s more acceptable than all the potential disasters of trying to find a soulmate and life partner.

Here’s a report by Blonde&Balanced, about

28 of the possible reasons that men, in particular; are choosing to stay single.

The dating world’s been flipping on its head, with more men choosing to hit pause on the whole dating game. It’s not just a single problem causing this shift, but a variety of new challenges prompting guys to retreat.

Let’s delve into 28 reasons highlighting why some men are opting out of dating.

1: High Cost of Love.

The bill for playing the dating game can make some guys hit the brakes, especially when it’s on them to foot the bill for everything from fancy dinners to fun dates, all while balancing their budget.

2: Clash with Modern Women.

A rift between modern independence and traditional dating expectations has led to a disconnect, with men feeling sidelined by women’s dual demands for autonomy and special treatment.

3: Situationships.

This modern take on non-committal relationships allows for emotional and physical connection without the need to label or define the bond, making it a popular choice for many.

4: The Lost "Getting to Know You" Phase.

Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria, shared his own personal experience that underscores a shift from casual dating to immediate, intense relationship probing, making casual encounters and light-hearted dating seem a thing of the past.

5: Impact of Pandemic.

Andrew Bruno’s account highlights how the pandemic has altered social behaviors, making in-person interactions less frequent and more guarded.

6: Goals over Dates.

Many men are putting love on the back burner to chase their career or academic dreams, driven by a mix of personal ambition, societal pressure, or the quest for financial security before settling down.

7: Past Pain.

Some guys are keeping their hearts off the market thanks to rough rides in past relationships, from betrayals to breakups, leaving them wary of round two.

8: High Expectations.

Feeling overwhelmed by the mountain of expectations in the dating world, some men think it’s just too much—whether it’s pressure from society, a string of bad dates, or those fairy-tale romances in movies.

9: Fear of Exploitation.

Past experiences of feeling used, whether for money, handyman services, or emotional support, have some men wary of dating again, fearing another round of exploitation.

10: The Age Gap.

For some, dating seems to cater exclusively to the young, leaving older individuals feeling out of place and questioning the worth of seeking love later in life.

11: Digital Dating.

The digital dating scene, with its endless swiping and focus on fleeting connections, has some dudes questioning if it’s all just a bit too shallow and overwhelming to bother with.

12: New Rules.

As the ground shifts beneath the traditional gender roles, a lot of men find themselves lost in the new norms of dating and relationships, unsure of their role.

13: Happy with Being Single.

With over