How To Sex

An essay on the history of Polyamory.

By darkgoddess2478. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or a combination thereof, according to the desires and agreement of the individuals involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. It is behaving in ways which are honest, and which make you, and the people you care about, and the people they care about happy and fulfilled. Polyamory is about building new configurations of relationships, being open to the opportunity if it comes along, not refusing commitments because something better might come loping down the path.

This is an interesting question. What is Polyamory? The definition above states it just simply as "loving more than one". Kathy Labriola defines Polyamory as an intense loving relationship between two or more people. Polyamory literally means many loves. Good enough for the simple definitions that tell you absolutely nothing important. Let's start with where the poly movement began.

Polyamory in the United States began as polygamy with Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Through a series of visions, Smith announced polygamy to his followers as a part of Mormon spirituality in 1843 and Brigham Young publicly announced this practice in 1852. Polygamy allowed men to marry more than one wife as long as he could provide for everyone in his family.

The Mormons were sexually conservative and rejected the ideals of romantic love, intense courtship and contraception. Sex was seen merely as a device for procreation. Extramarital affairs, premarital sex, and all sexual acts that would not directly lead to conception were strictly forbidden and enforced at a cost of death or emasculation. The reasoning stands that polygamy was not for the purpose of sex, but as a way to have as many children as possible.

Since the Christian doctrine did not allow for polygamy, the Mormons were the subject of hate from many sources, mainly Protestant missionaries and women writers who "attempted to emancipate plural wives from their alleged sexual slavery." (D'Emilio and Freedman 117) Even though our country preached freedom of religion, from the 1860's to the 1880's the federal government prosecuted Mormons who practiced polygamy. Given this opposition, the Mormons withdrew their approval for polygamy in 1890.

Most polyamorous families are not all married to one another. There is usually a primary couple who are married and the others who consider themselves married, but do not have an actual marriage certificate. Some of the families live together and others have separate living quarters where the father and husband visit frequently. In the families that live together, the child rearing and household responsibilities are shared. In all ethical cases, all the wives know about each other and support the decision of their husband taking on the new partner.

Kathy Labriola, a counselor and nurse, defines Polyamory as "an intense loving relationship between members of the same sex or those of the opposite sex". Some polyamorous people are married, others are single: Polyamorous people may be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. The Polyamorous system does not have to be a sexual system, but it can be.

Most of the cynicism given to Polyamory is due to people thinking Polyamory is for sexual practices. Kilbride in "Plural Marriage for our Times: A Reinvented Option?" states, In linking sexuality to marriage we generally view having multiple marital partners, as resulting predominately from sex drive.

Of the various reasons why plural marriage occurs, a sexual outlet is minimized within a wider, more general body of needs and functions considered important for both individuals and the wider society. This statement agrees that the practice of polygamy is not about sex. As was stated earlier, the Mormons used polygamy as a way of advancing their religion and baptizing their ancestors, not for greater sexual acts. The people who practice Polyamory today use Polyamory as a means of freedom of expression and bettering themselves as people. Since they have found tha...

What really happens when you take someone’s sex juices in your mouth?

By BareAmy83 & LePenseur. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Today we’re talking about the thrill of ministering to your sex partner’s wonderful playground right between two legs. And today we’re discussing the oral delight to the mouth. This is the safest sex act involving penetration. The first report comes from BareAmy83. She’s so delighted for all the health benefits she derives from her man’s semen. But it’s her story to tell, so here she is.

The Science of Cum Why Blowjobs Are a LOT Sexier Than You Ever Imagined.

Author’s Note: I have pooled various internet research, studies, facts and figures in order to give you an interesting way of looking at something we all may take for granted in our sexual lives: oral sex and the male ejaculation. I am by no means a scientist or doctor, and none of what you read is intended as medicinal advice, it’s just something that I found rather neat and slightly kinky, and want to share with anyone who has a passing interest in what happens when you go down on a man and swallow his cum.

Enjoy and happy blowjob giving!

PROLOGUE

Oral sex is one of the safest acts of sex between two people. There is absolutely no risk of pregnancy when a couple engages in pleasing each other orally. Bringing your partner to a satisfying climax is enjoyable for both the giver and the receiver. And for those of us who are sexual ‘submissives’, we are often called upon to orally please our Sir or Madam, or even other people.

While giving oral sex to a female can be incredibly rewarding, the focus of this essay is to focus on the immediate outcome of successful oral sex given to a man, by stimulating his penis with your mouth to the point of ejaculation.

And more to the point, what *actually* happens when a male ejaculates into someone’s mouth?

Sure, there’s a satisfying orgasm for that person, but for the person giving the blowjob, it goes beyond the simple receiving of semen into the mouth.

And, depending on how you look at it, the outcome from receiving that load of semen is either disgusting or sexy.

Personally, I feel it to be insanely sexy!

To understand what happens when you receive a load of semen in your mouth, let’s first talk about the area receiving most of the “action”: your tongue.

THE TONGUE

The human tongue is actually the largest muscle in your body. It aids in chewing and digestion, speaking and breathing. Your tongue runs from your hyoid bone (in the middle of your neck) to the floor of your mouth.

Your tongue is mostly made of muscles, anchored to your mouth by a web of strong tissue, and covered in mucosa (a moist pink lining that covers certain organs and body cavities). It is sensitive and kept moist by saliva and is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. The upper part of the tongue is covered by four different types of taste buds housed in lingual papillae:

Filiform: taking up the front 2/3rds of your tongue, they do not contain taste buds.

Fungiform: mushroom-like in appearance, they are on the sides and tip of your tongue, and consist of about 1,600 taste buds

Circumallate: small bumps on the back of the tongue, containing about 250 taste buds.

Foliate: rough golds of tissue, containing several hundred taste buds.

Taste buds are clusters of nerve cells that send sensory messages to your brain for five different tastes: sweet, salty, bitter, sour and savory. Although people think that different areas of the tongue taste different things, that is not true. All taste buds can detect the five tastes, but some are more sensitive towards certain tastes.

In total, the human tongue has from 2,000 to 8,000 taste buds. Each bud has 50 to 100 taste gustatory hairs, or receptors. These receptors pick up different chemicals and send a signal the brain that it has a particular nutrient in it that is either good or bad for the body.

A LITTLE ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

When a male ejaculates into the mouth cavity, a whitish fluid called semen is disgorged from the penis. Semen (also known as “ejaculate” or “cum” or even the slang term “seed”) consists of liquids from the p...

No matter your size, you can make it work for you.

By PolySwingerWife. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.

We’re taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact.

In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their ‘package’. Men who don’t have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence.

Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration.

Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women don’t like being stereotyped for having big tits.

Let’s hear from Evangelina Vargas, aka, Poly Swinger Wife. She’s married, but claims multiple sex partners.

Length vs Girth

It is often men who are concerned about cock size. I will admit that cock size can be an issue for some women, as well, but more often it is men who are the most concerned.

Men’s penises can be seen in gym locker rooms by other men, at nude beaches, and at nude resorts by both men and women. When penises are seen in these places, the penises are flaccid. Most men are not comparing their erect penises to other men’s erect penises in real life. When this occurs, it is usually while looking at or watching porn.

Since most penises are seen when they are flaccid, it is safe to assume that flaccid size is just as important as erect size.

Let’s say that two men are together, one man’s penis glans (head) is bigger than the other man’s entire penis. Could this be an issue? I believe so. Let’s now say that a woman is looking at these two men. Is she going to see both men as being equal, sexually or otherwise? Possibly not.

A person’s reaction to a man’s penis size can have lasting effects. And too often statements made about a smaller penis are rarely complimentary.

Imagine that you are a man, and more than once you have been told that your penis is “cute.” Does this foster a feeling of command, confidence, and masculinity? No. Conversely, if you are told that you are hung, or hung like a horse, does this foster a different feeling for the “hung” man? I believe so.

The size of a man’s penis often has a lot to do with how a man sees himself. How well he measures up will attribute to the man’s feelings of self-worth, and himself as a man.

It is said that flaccid size often has nothing to do with what the same penis will look like when erect. I agree, to a point. I believe that a man who has a flaccid penis that is 2.5 inches in length isn’t going to be as big when he is erect as a man who is 6.5 inches in length when he is flaccid.

A larger cock, when flaccid, may not grow much more when it is erect, but it may get thicker. So, let’s say that one man has a 4.5-inch erect penis that is 4.0 inches in circumference, and the other man has a 6.5-inch penis that is 5.0 inches in circumference when it is flaccid. I believe it is safe to assume that the larger flaccid penis is going to be the bigger penis when it is erect.

Many men fear being alone or rejected because of the size of their penis. This fear usually exists because of past ridicule of the man’s penis or the fear of that happening.

The Whole Clitoris Matters

Although most women care much less about men’s penis sizes, it has been noted that women who can, do, and enjoy vaginal orgasm prefer larger cock men. For women who don’t prefer vaginal orgasms, penis size is a far less pressing matter.

Studies have shown that fewer women can and do orgasm vaginally than those who orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Yet, it has also recently been proven that the clitoris is much larger than previously thought. Essentially, all women who experience orgasm, either through clitoral or vaginal stimulation, experience clitoral orgasms.

Why is this important? The reason many women can and do experience “vaginal” orgasm is that the penis rubs the clitoris on all sides. When looked at, the clitoris is not just the nub that most people think that it is. It actually covers much more ground. The “nub” is just the tip of the clitoris.

To put it crudely, the entir...

The dating world’s been flipping on its head.

Tie up your man and go to town.

By alf_2712. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Bondage sex is often associated with Sado Masochism. But that vaste generalization does a great disservice to a wide range of sexual proclivities. Each part of this grouping ought to be understood on it’s own attributes.

Bondage is simply adding real or perceived restrictions in a sexual encounter. It’s the fantasy of lost control over a situation which thrills many lovers. It often incorporates a fantasy scenario and some role-playing.

Sadism is the infliction of discomfort to a lover.

Masochism is a self-inflicted discomfort.

Today we’re hearing from Alfie, about her lover’s favorite kink. He allows himself to be restrained and subjected to sexual frustration, in the form of a very delayed ejaculation.

Healthy lovemaking of this sort may include switching roles, or may remain in fixed roles of a dominant & a submissive.

Sometimes it’s only a fantasy desired by one of them, yet the other lover plays a role simply to satisfy the other’s sexual sesires. Here’s Alfie.

My favorite Tease & Denial plot.

Spread eagle is my definitely my favorite bondage position. I love it. Tying at the feet is not always necessary, but the hands, absolutely. Even though a pair of cuffs in the middle do have their place, I’m a firm believer in hands at the corners. Some sort of strapping under the bed, whatever; we just want his arms out. Face up, of course.

You will need:

n a bed big enough for both of you

n some kind of restraint system already attached at all four corners of the bed frame, to tie his limbs outward, toward the four corners of the bed

n a bowl or basket containing:

A: a bottle of tasty massage oil,

B: a cock ring, and

C: a feather, furry mitt, or something which is very ticklish.

Besides these, the following are preferred;

n big tits If you’ve got them

n and minty gum can be nice.

No need for a blindfold. believe me, his eyes are your friend. You might also keep a glass of water, gotta keep those spit and sweat glands pumping. Ice water if you’re a bitch.

And a word on gagging. it’s up to you! But if you’re gonna gag, gag properly (i.e. rubber is better than your thong). Let’s get started! But let him breathe freely. His muffled voice is more for your experience of domination.

Get your man on your bed. Your face and hairdo should be impeccable and sultry, with lipstick mascara, and whatever else makes you look like a high-class slut. But somehow keep your hair from falling into your face on onto his oily body.

You want his to see your impeccable face and styled hair for the entire event.

If there’s a clock in the room, hide it.

Get him on his back and give him a kiss. A pillow under his head is good. And he’s naked, right? Completely naked? Dote on him and ask if he likes the position of the pillow. This doting just camouflages the torment you have planned for today.

You don’t have to be also naked, yet; but let your clothing help set a sensual mood. A Silky robe or his favorite lingerie is a good choice to start with.

Make focused attention on his comfort before you gently attach the restraints. Adjust the wrist restraints so you can fit one finger between the material and his skin. You want barely any wiggle room in his arms.

And his legs? Well, that’s up to you. Being bound on the bed and all accessible is going to make him squirm whether his legs are forced straight or not. I say leave em. But he might accidently hurt you if he suddenly flinches his legs.

Once all restraints are attached, extend each of his limbs and tighten the length up, so he’s truly spread-eagle and limited from squirming around during the event.

Tease and denial is the name of the game here. Or “edging” if you like. And edging it is.

We’ll be taking him right to the edge of an orgasm, more than a few times.

You know you’re doing well if you lose count. I hope your blowjob skills are up to date, ‘cause tongue is king here. Not to say it’s your only asset (it’s not). but subjecting him to excruciating pussy-torture can come a bit later.

In case it’s not clear already, this guide is written from a woman’s perspective; so if you’re not one, some parts o...