80. What MUST go in your Parenting Agreement- Special Re-Air!!!

Explicit content warning

09/17/23 • 61 min

How Not To Suck At Divorce: Divorce Advice You Need To Hear

***Listen carefully to learn what MUST go in your parenting agreement!! This is a special re air from a few seasons ago!

Shana Tova to those who celebrate!

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This is no episode for babies (no offense, babies). We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kiddos first in your parenting agreement.

Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements. Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer: What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement?

How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children.

The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement. What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager? Can you modify a parenting agreement? Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child? Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks? What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary? What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement? What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand. Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned? Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos". Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out!

OBSESSED: This week Andrea is obsessed with a non-medicated inhaler that has been scientifically proven to calm anxiety. It's called CalmiGo. It measures how much air you exhale and will vibrate when you exhale properly to help you regulate your breathing. It helps Andrea feel more grounded and has made her realize how shallow she typically breathes during the day. It's genius. CalmiGo sent the inhaler to Andrea after she posted the instagram reel of the time she was in the hospital for a panic attack. But please know, we do not recommend products just because we got one free. We will only recommend products we truly love and use. And this is one of those, for sure. If you go to Andrea's IG and click the link in her bio, you'll get a $30 off coupon.

Don't miss the very end of the episode because we talk about how it has just been discovered that honey bee venom can kill breast cancer cells. Amazing! There's also a new study on a possible cure for lupus and other autoimmune diseases AND, new developments on slowing the progression of Alzheimer's. We love ending the show with some positivity :)

To our one listener in Honduras, we see you and adore you. Thank you for being here with us. xo

We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at [email protected] or dm us at:

@theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

***Listen carefully to learn what MUST go in your parenting agreement!! This is a special re air from a few seasons ago!

Shana Tova to those who celebrate!

*********

How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children.

To our one listener in Honduras, we see you and adore you. Thank you for being here with us. xo

We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at [email protected] or dm us at:

@theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

Previous Episode

79. Trauma Healing with Brainspotting. With Trauma Therapist, Lauren Auer

WOW. This episode is powerful.

If you're new to our show, welcome. On How Not to Suck at Divorce, we walk you through the divorce process from "I think I want a divorce" to "I'm divorced, now what?!" and EVERYTHING that happens between.

For many of us, our divorce comes with a "healthy" dose of trauma. Now, this term is certainly a buzz word right now that's often misused, so listen closely as our special guest, trauma therapist, Lauren Auer, digs into what trauma really is and how you can begin to heal from it.

Heard the phase, "the issue's in the tissues"? Well, that's becuase trauma tends to make a little home in our bodies and gets so damn comfortable that it doesn't want to leave. For this reason, traditional talk therapy doesn't always "do the trick" to subside the symptoms of trauma...(more on thse symptoms in the episode!).

Techniques like EMDR and Brainspotting can be quite helpful will working through a trauma block. On this episode, Lauren walks Andrea through a brainspotting exercise and it's...powerful.

This episode will help you learn some tricks that you can apply EASILY to help yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and panic, as a result from trauma.

To reach Lauren and learn more about her services, you can find her here: https://steadfastcounseling.com

And to find her on IG to watch her viral reels and techniques, head here:

https://instagram.com/steadfastcounseling

And now, a word from our sponsors...

If your coparent is adding to the TRAUMA in your day, then friend, please check out Our Family Wizard. At Our Family Wizard, they strive to make coparenting easier...even for the biggest PIA cases.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com

We are here for you. You can do this. Come join our community.

https://www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

Next Episode

81. Should I Get Divorced? (Discernment Counseling- Special re-air)

Did you know there's an actual process that helps unhappy couples decide whether divorce is the right move??? We are releasing this re-air episode today because it's important to talk about options. Divorce is NOT the answer for every couple, and a lot of you are wondering, "is divorce right for me?"

So, sit back, have an open mind...and take a listen.

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Would you benefit from Discernment Counseling? This week, we find out. The founder of discernment counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, joins us on the podcast. Not only did Dr. Doherty develop a specific type of counseling for couples where one is considering divorce, he's also been on Oprah not just once, but twice! From Harpo to How Not To Suck At Divorce, Dr. Doherty is moving up in the world, that's for sure.

Discernment counseling is when one person is leaning OUT of the relationship and considering divorce and the other person is leaning IN and wants to try to make things work. This type of counseling gives people clarity and confidence based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in the marriage.

Dr. Doherty answers the questions:

What is discernment counseling?
Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage?
What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling?
How long is discernment counseling?
What are the three paths of discernment counseling?
How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling?

Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer).

You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at discernmentcounselors.com.

Please hit the 5 stars in your podcast app, we need the external validation, but more importantly, it helps our podcast show up in searches so we can help those who are struggling through the divorce process.

Remember, you got this and we got you.

Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago