How Not To Suck At Divorce

Morgan is sick tonight but Andrea is holding down the fort over here at How Not to Suck at Divorce headquarters and joining her are the hosts of the Dirty Laundry podcast, Amanda Silver and Alex Howard.

Amanda and Alex are both mediators in Toronto and they blow Andrea's mind on this episode with all of the wild ways that Canadian divorces are different than divorces here in the United States.

Did you know that Canadians must have a period of separation before even filing for a divorce?

And if you've ever googled:

Are attorney assisted divorces as common in Canada as it is in the United States?

What does mediation look like in Canada?

How long does a divorce process take in Canada?

What's the role of a mediator in Canada?

Do Canadians really love maple syrup that much?

Then you FOR SURE want to take a listen to this episode!

If you're in the Toronto area and Amanda and Alex caught your attention (and we're sure they did) here's how you can reach them!!

http://www.midtownmediation.ca To reach Alex

https://www.foresthillmediation.com To reach Amanda

And if you needing more support with your difficult coparent, we got you! Go check out our friends at Our Family Wizard. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

See you guys next week! (and don't worry, Morgan will be back!!)

WOW. This episode is powerful.

If you're new to our show, welcome. On How Not to Suck at Divorce, we walk you through the divorce process from "I think I want a divorce" to "I'm divorced, now what?!" and EVERYTHING that happens between.

For many of us, our divorce comes with a "healthy" dose of trauma. Now, this term is certainly a buzz word right now that's often misused, so listen closely as our special guest, trauma therapist, Lauren Auer, digs into what trauma really is and how you can begin to heal from it.

Heard the phase, "the issue's in the tissues"? Well, that's becuase trauma tends to make a little home in our bodies and gets so damn comfortable that it doesn't want to leave. For this reason, traditional talk therapy doesn't always "do the trick" to subside the symptoms of trauma...(more on thse symptoms in the episode!).

Techniques like EMDR and Brainspotting can be quite helpful will working through a trauma block. On this episode, Lauren walks Andrea through a brainspotting exercise and it's...powerful.

This episode will help you learn some tricks that you can apply EASILY to help yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and panic, as a result from trauma.

To reach Lauren and learn more about her services, you can find her here: https://steadfastcounseling.com

And to find her on IG to watch her viral reels and techniques, head here:

https://instagram.com/steadfastcounseling

And now, a word from our sponsors...

If your coparent is adding to the TRAUMA in your day, then friend, please check out Our Family Wizard. At Our Family Wizard, they strive to make coparenting easier...even for the biggest PIA cases.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com

We are here for you. You can do this. Come join our community.

https://www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

Introducing: The Real Divorce Attorneys series- a spin off of How Not to Suck at Divorce.

This series offers an exclusive sneak peek into the minds and personalites of family law attorneys to help you discover who might be the right fit for you. Today, we are introducting you to 4 of Chicago's TOP divorce attorneys.

This episode gets crazy, so buckle up!

And if you're already midway through your divorce process...or not in the Chicago area, fear not, this episode will give you a fresh prespective on your case, and probably make you laugh!

We're covering:

How much money will my divorce cost me?

How long will my divorce take?

Who's the best divorce attorney in Chicago?

Best attorney in Chicago to counter a narcissist?

To reach out to the attorneys you heard on today's episode, head here:

Brian Blitz: https://www.bergerschatz.com/attorneys/brian-j-blitz/

Melissa Caballero Dunn: https://www.merelfamilylaw.com/attorneys/melissa-caballero-dunn/

Jessica Interlandi: https://www.sdflaw.com/team/detail/Jessica-bank-interlandi/bio

Scott Kramer: https://www.gmrfamilylaw.com/scott

And make sure you check out Our Family Wizard if you need extra support with coparenting.

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

Join our private community for more insight and community!

http:www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

***Listen carefully to learn what MUST go in your parenting agreement!! This is a special re air from a few seasons ago!

Shana Tova to those who celebrate!

*********

This is no episode for babies (no offense, babies). We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kiddos first in your parenting agreement.

Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements. Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer: What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement?

How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children.

The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement. What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager? Can you modify a parenting agreement? Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child? Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks? What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary? What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement? What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand. Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned? Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos". Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out!

OBSESSED: This week Andrea is obsessed with a non-medicated inhaler that has been scientifically proven to calm anxiety. It's called CalmiGo. It measures how much air you exhale and will vibrate when you exhale properly to help you regulate your breathing. It helps Andrea feel more grounded and has made her realize how shallow she typically breathes during the day. It's genius. CalmiGo sent the inhaler to Andrea after she posted the instagram reel of the time she was in the hospital for a panic attack. But please know, we do not recommend products just because we got one free. We will only recommend products we truly love and use. And this is one of those, for sure. If you go to Andrea's IG and click the link in her bio, you'll get a $30 off coupon.

Don't miss the very end of the episode because we talk about how it has just been discovered that honey bee venom can kill breast cancer cells. Amazing! There's also a new study on a possible cure for lupus and other autoimmune diseases AND, new developments on slowing the progression of Alzheimer's. We love ending the show with some positivity :)

To our one listener in Honduras, we see you and adore you. Thank you for being here with us. xo

We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at [email protected] or dm us at:

@theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

Spolier Alert: If you don't want to hear about life after divorce, this episode is NOT for you.

What happens if you meet someone you really love after being divorced?

At what point to decide to blend your lifes?

And what about the kids??

We need a roadmap on blending familes. How to do it. When to do it. How to have the right coversations. Who to have those conversations with and when do you have them....and the list goes on!

On this very special episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we are talking all things blending families (for a very special reason, which you'll hear about in the episode).

To help us navigate these waters, we brought in blending families expert, Mr Ron Deal. (or as we call him, "Ron BIG Deal"). Ron has written NINE books on the subject, and let me tell you, this guy is the REAL DEAL...not just the "big deal"!!

This episode will teach you the magic of making stew. Family stew, that is. (more on that in the episode)

If you've ever wondered if it's possible to blend families with children of different ages, this episode is for you.

If you're feeling anxious about getting remarried because you're wondering how your kids will reaact, this episode is for you.

Listen, lean back, take a breath, and learn.

To find Ron online and his library of books, head here :http://smartstepfamilies.com

To join our private communites, check us out here:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Sending you all so much love and hope for what's possible!