Hot Marriage. Cool Parents.

In today’s episode, we fill you in on the events that led up to my nephew Jayme in the hospital. In chronological order, we go through each step of the way until we reached my family in upstate New York to provide as much support as possible.

You’ll also hear how and why we started a Go Fund Me for my nephew and how much we appreciate each and every one of you. We discuss how my sister and her family are dealing with this tragic situation and how they are moving forward.

On a much lighter note, we also introduce our new venture into launching a Patreon page to stay connected with all of you! Doug also opens up about how he feels being a stay-at-home dad from a voice memo question from one of our frans.

And thank you to our sponsors:

DBS Alliance - To learn more about how you can start conversations about mental health and suicide in your community, visit dbsalliance.org/suicide-prevention

Girlfriend Collective - Get $25 off purchases of $100 or more when you go to girlfriend.com/hotmarriage

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In today’s episode, we get candid about a time when divorce was in the cards for us and share how our couple’s therapist made us aware that it wasn’t realistic to count on one person to be everything to each of us. You’ll hear how our therapist managed to identify that Doug’s habit of speaking in an announcer’s voice is stonewalling, and how she showed us that it is damaging to our relationship. The purpose of this podcast is to connect with you! We tell you how we learn and grow from your contribution and answer a listener question about why the producers of Married at First Sight paired us with one another, before telling you what we are constantly learning from one another. We discuss the guy Jamie dated before she met Doug and the story of how we are still friends with the girl Doug lost his virginity to. Jamie records a voice note after a session with a couple’s therapist and shares her thoughts on boundaries, and how her childhood has shaped who she is today. One of the main things we hope you take from this episode is that spreading yourself too thin serves nobody, least of all you! Please join us for some powerful insights from our personal journey today.

Key Points From This Episode:

• How our therapist helped save our marriage from the brink of divorce.
• What we learned from therapy: you can’t count on one person to be everything.
• How Jamie used the voice recorder on her phone as a form of therapy.
• Doug’s ‘announcer voice’ and how this stonewalls Jamie in situations of conflict.
• How you can get in touch via email or social media with your questions.
• The main aim of Hot Marriage Cool Parents, which is to connect with you!
• Doug’s endorsement of Manly Bands and their range that you can customize.
• Listener question: what did the producers find compatible about Doug and Jamie?
• How Doug has shown Jamie how to get comfortable in her own skin and how Jamie has taught Doug to have drive about everything he does.
• Jamie shares why the person she dated before Doug was a great guy, but not suited to her.
• How Doug stayed friends with the girl he lost his virginity to.
• Jamie’s voice note that she recorded in her car after a couple’s therapy session.
• How finding the right fit in a therapist has been a huge game changer for us.
• How putting yourself last doesn’t make you reliable, but is a way to try to get the love and acceptance of people around you.
• The effect of having no boundaries, which is resentment.
• How having boundaries benefits absolutely everyone in your life.
• The story of how Jamie’s mother turned to drugs and put her family’s needs aside.
• How she realized that setting boundaries helps her please herself and put her family first.
• What Jamie identified about spreading herself too thin: that she’s no good to anyone, including herself!

For All Things HMCP, Check Out Our Instagram Handles:

Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. — https://www.instagram.com/hotmarriagecoolparents/

Jamie — https://www.instagram.com/jamienotis/

Doug — https://www.instagram.com/doughehner/

And Thank You to Our Sponsors:

Manly Bands - Get 21% off plus a free silicone ring by going to manlybands.com/hotmarriage

DBS Alliance - To learn more about how you can start conversations about mental health and suicide in your community, visit dbsalliance.org/suicide-prevention

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For all the MAFS fans out there, guess who we have on the podcast this week! Yup it's the beautiful, lovely, BOSS BABE, Rachel DeAlto! Not only was she the favorite expert to many couples on MAFS, she is also an author of her new book, Relatable which comes out on September 7! Rachel has also been featured on the Today Show, TedX, Kate Plus Date .... aaand she's the official person for Match.com! On top of ALL of that she's an amazing momma! What an honor that she wanted to come onto HMCP!

Rachel is passionate about people, and has worked with organizations and individuals worldwide to help them develop their leadership skills, improve teams, and create stronger interpersonal relationships. In today’s episode, we talk about how to improve your social skills in every setting, including networking, dating, and more, especially with the increased social awkwardness that came with the pandemic. Rachel shares some tips for diving into the world of online dating, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and open mindedness, and we also talk candidly about how to turn acquaintances into friends and build relationships bu having the courage to let your guard down and be vulnerable. We also touch on the shifts Rachel has noticed in the dating world during COVID and her tips for your dating app bio, as well as where you can find her book, Relatable, and how you can get a free 15-minute coaching session with her! Make sure not to miss this, dare we say, relatable, conversation with relationship expert and our friend, Rachel DeAlto!

Key Points From This Episode:

• We respond to a voice memo from Holly about triggers and remembrance. [0:03:45]

• Find out what Rachel has been up to since Married at First Sight a few years ago. [0:18:33]

• How she became a ‘relationship expert’, which she says she fell into by accident. [0:21:24]

• Some insider information from an expert’s perspective about how the format of Married at First Sight has shifted. [0:23:24]

• Hear why Rachel left the show and her relationship with Dr. Jessica Griffin. [0:27:04]

• Rachel shares her most memorable moment from working on the show. [0:31:41]

• What led her to work at Match.com; how she hoped to making dating better. [0:32:30]

• Some of the shifts Rachel has observed in dating during the pandemic. [0:35:52]

• Advice for diving into the world of online dating: take three to five pictures, keep your bio short and sweet, and stay positive! [0:37:44]

• The importance of showing up authentically; be who you are, know what you want. [0:41:10]

• Learn about Rachel’s book, relatable; how to connect in a hyperconnected world. [0:45:00]

• Tips for building relationships, starting with having the courage to be vulnerable. [0:50:33]

• The inspiration in being relatable; ask yourself what you are most proud of. [0:56:12]

• Advice for starting a conversation with someone if you are shy: don’t overthink it! [1:00:27]

For All Things HMCP, Check Out Our Instagram Handles:

Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. — https://www.instagram.com/hotmarriagecoolparents/

Jamie — https://www.instagram.com/jamienotis/

Doug — https://www.instagram.com/doughehner/

And Thank You to Our Sponsors:

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance — Visit https://www.dbsalliance.org/suicide-prevention to learn how to start conversations about mental health and suicide in your community.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Rachel DeAlto — https://www.racheldealto.com/

Rachel DeAlto on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/racheldealto/

Rachel DeAlto on Twitter — https://twitter.com/racheldealto

Rachel DeAlto on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/racheldealto/

Rachel DeAlto on TikTok — https://www.tiktok.com/@racheldealto

relatable — https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1982171081

Big Little Feelings — https://biglittlefeelings.com/

Dr. Jessica Griffin — http://www.drjessica.com/

Match.com — https://match.com/

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This is such a special episode of Hot Marriage. Cool Parents, that Jamie called in from the doctor’s parking lot just to be with us! Today, we have the pleasure of welcoming a very important guest with whom we have interacted in the past but never had the opportunity to sit down and speak! She's the author of The Emotional Entrepreneur, co-host of the Okay Sis Podcast, host of the SCOUT Podcast, Founder of Scout's Agency, and a trailblazing entrepreneur, Scout Sobel! Scout’s success did not come without her fair share of trials and tribulations. She has been living with bipolar disorder for the past 15 years, which once rendered her unable to hold down a job, go to college, or function from day to day. With a focus on self-development work, Scout now successfully manages her bipolar disorder and uses her mental health healing journey to inspire other women to take radical responsibility for their emotions, live a life of purpose, and follow their entrepreneurial calling.

In this episode, we find out why Scout calls her bipolar disorder her most sacred internal compass, how you can empower those who feel helpless to take control over their own lives, and how Scout cultivated the foundational belief that she is safe in her emotions, as well as what you can expect from her book, The Emotional Entrepreneur, and some of the non-negotiable mental health tools she puts into practice on a daily basis, plus a whole lot more! Even if you don’t struggle with mental health issues, there is so much insight, inspiration, and practical advice that you can take away from this conversation, so make sure not to miss it! Tune in today.

Key Points From This Ep:

• Scout’s #1 tip for women entrepreneurs: celebrate every and any win possible!

• How taking radical responsibility for her emotions kickstarted her entrepreneurial journey.

• Find out what she means when she calls her bipolar disorder a ‘sacred internal compass’.

• Hear about some of the free resources and support groups available to you.

• The value of implementing a daily routine that works for you, even if you are a busy parent.

• Scout emphasizes the importance of owning where you say ‘yes’ in your life; say no more!

• How you can take control over 30 minutes of your day to concentrate on nourishing rest.

“Being proud of yourself is my number one tip. Celebrating any and every win possible is the way to move forward.” — Scout Sobel

For All Things HMCP, Check Out Our Instagram Handles:

Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. — https://www.instagram.com/hotmarriagecoolparents/

Jamie — https://www.instagram.com/jamienotis/

Doug — https://www.instagram.com/doughehner/

And Thank You to Our Sponsors:

GoHenry — Teach your kids to make sound financial decisions with gohenry.com and get one month free with the promo code, HMCP.

ReadySlim — Try their 28-day detox tea and get 25 percent off your first order, plus a free collapsible water bottle at readyslim.com/hotmarriage.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Scout Sobel — https://www.scoutsobel.com/

Scout Sobel on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/scoutsobel/

Okay Sis Podcast — https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/okay-sis/id1434353917

SCOUT Podcast — https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scout/id1505252696

The Emotional Entrepreneur — https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578951754

NAMI Support Groups — https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups

Depressed Anonymous — https://depressedanon.com/

Untamed — https://www.amazon.com/Untamed-Glennon-Doyle-Melton/dp/1984801252

Moleskine — https://www.moleskine.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lisa Bilyeu, who is literally SUCH a boss babe and honestly someone I really look up to in the business world is our guest today! She’s the cofounder and president of the company Impact Theory AND she’s the co-founder of the billion-dollar brand Quest nutrition. She also gets in front of the camera to chat all things female empowerment. Doug and I are super excited to chat all the things with her because she is literally SO inspiring! Tuning in you’ll hear Lisa share some of the valuable lessons she’s learned about shame and confidence, like why combating shame and establishing confidence is not something you arrive at but is more like a muscle that needs to be trained and maintained. We delve into the importance of identifying future goals, how to do it if you don’t know where to start, and why that internal knowledge is crucial to set boundaries. Later, Lisa opens up about the intense physical debilitation she experienced after years of not listening to her body and building her business, and what recovery meant for her. She shares how she had to reassess her values after her health crisis and why going forward she is keenly aware of whether her work aligns with her purpose. We loved having Lisa on the show and were blown away by her honesty and wisdom. Tune in today for a wealth of insight, compassion, and meaningful advice!

Before we bring Lisa on, we chat about how we literally just got back from a crazy heated therapy sesh with our couples therapist where we talked about support systems and how Doug and I have big issues on communication. We came to realize that I don't really have a support system - I don't have parents to go to, and I can't go to Doug's family if I am having issues with my marriage. I've come to realize that my girlfrans feel like my support system! This podcast is like THERAPY for me.

Show Notes:

17:25 - Welcome to HMCP, Lisa!

22:25 - Overcoming shame is a muscle. Facing inadequacies and not letting ego get in the way is something we have to keep training!

24:30 - We talk about our goals of what we are trying to get to in 2 sentences

26:48 - Was there a turning point in your life or what was that thing that kind of got you over the edge to start you on that routine of working on yourself and empowering women?

37:13 - What helped make the transition into sharing your story and empowering women?

45:20 - What would you say to the person who says I don't know what my goals should be - where do I even start?

54:08 - What were your goals at the age of 14?

58:00 - Tell us about your book!

"People think confidence is the end goal...but confidence isn't your end goal. Confidence is your TOOL to get to the end goal! .... Focus on the end goal of impacting others!!!!" - Lisa Bilyeu

Lisa's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/

Impact Theory Website: https://impacttheory.com/

And Thank You to Our Sponsor:

Ritual - Get key nutrients–without the B.S.! Get 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/HMCP to start Ritual today.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices