Speaking Their Name: Keys to Supporting the Bereaved with Alison Potter from Give a Mile
02/13/23 • 30 min
End-of-life, death, bereavement, and grief are undeniably sensitive topics, but they are an inherent part of the human experience. When someone loses a loved one, grief becomes an inevitable companion, and receiving the right support becomes essential for fostering a healthy outcome. Grief is an intrinsic aspect of love, representing a lifelong response that brings about profound changes in an individual. During such trying times, providing authentic support to those who are grieving becomes paramount, devoid of dismissive phrases like "I know how you feel" or superficial reassurances. Being present, choosing our words with care, and sharing cherished memories of the deceased while acknowledging them by name can offer solace and validation. This way, we provide an opportunity to honor the departed by speaking their name aloud once again. In a candid discussion, Alison Potter delves into the intricacies of grief and comfort, recounting her personal journey after losing her husband. She also sheds light on the valuable work of Give A Mile in the end-of-life space, and her business, Expected Outcome.
Alison is a palliative RN and a volunteer with Give A Mile, a registered charity in both Canada and the US. Their mission is to provide flights for people at end-of-life to connect with their loved ones for a final goodbye. Since they started, they have given away nine hundred and sixty-four (964) free flights, and their goal is to make it a thousand (1000) this year, their tenth anniversary year. Alison has been a Registered Nurse for almost 40 years, worked for over 25 years as a Palliative Care Nurse in Palliative Home Care, Palliative Consult Team in Acute Care, and was the Director of Clinical Care at Rosedale Hospice in Calgary from 2009 to 2018. Allison launched her business, Expected Outcome, in May 2022 to support and educate people on death, grief, and bereavement.
Tune in!
Key Highlights from the Episode;
[00:30] Episode intro and a quick bio of the guest; Alison potter
[00:56] Give A Mile, the Why behind it, and what they offer in the end-of-life space
[06:16] Alison’s role as an outreach coordinator and flight recipient at Give A Mile
[07:34] How to donate money or miles to Give A Mile and how they work
[09:39] Inspiring stories of recent flight applicants’ unforgeable reunion experiences
[16:09] The maximum amount Give A Mile provides and why they don’t disclose it
[17:26] Grief and how Allison supports people through her business “Expected Outcome.”
[20:57] Why sharing stories and using the name of the deceased is priceless
[25:44] Alison’s word of encouragement to those grieving for pets
[29:09] Wrap-up and end of the show
Notable Quotes● End-of-life care can be anywhere; residential hospice, home, hospital, and long-term care center, or in an ICU where the outcome is uncertain and someone is not expected to survive. [04:04]
● Telling someone grieving that you know how they feel, they can have another baby, or time heals our wounds hurts because it doesn’t; grief is a price for love, and it’s lifelong. [19:04]
● Be there, say the right things, and talk about the disease by name, grief is already sad, and by doing this, you are not making them sadder; you are giving them an opportunity to get their loved one name out loud again. [21:48]
Let’s ConnectAlison Potter
Website: https://giveamile.org/
Website: https://expectedoutcome.ca/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alison-potter-rn-bscn-chpcn-b449064b/?
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thealybird
Marie's Contact: [email protected] www.hospiceexplained.com http://buymeacoffee.com/hospice [email protected] Leave a Voicemail: 206-705-3080
End-of-life, death, bereavement, and grief are undeniably sensitive topics, but they are an inherent part of the human experience. When someone loses a loved one, grief becomes an inevitable companion, and receiving the right support becomes essential for fostering a healthy outcome. Grief is an intrinsic aspect of love, representing a lifelong response that brings about profound changes in an individual. During such trying times, providing authentic support to those who are grieving becomes paramount, devoid of dismissive phrases like "I know how you feel" or superficial reassurances. Being present, choosing our words with care, and sharing cherished memories of the deceased while acknowledging them by name can offer solace and validation. This way, we provide an opportunity to honor the departed by speaking their name aloud once again. In a candid discussion, Alison Potter delves into the intricacies of grief and comfort, recounting her personal journey after losing her husband. She also sheds light on the valuable work of Give A Mile in the end-of-life space, and her business, Expected Outcome.
Alison is a palliative RN and a volunteer with Give A Mile, a registered charity in both Canada and the US. Their mission is to provide flights for people at end-of-life to connect with their loved ones for a final goodbye. Since they started, they have given away nine hundred and sixty-four (964) free flights, and their goal is to make it a thousand (1000) this year, their tenth anniversary year. Alison has been a Registered Nurse for almost 40 years, worked for over 25 years as a Palliative Care Nurse in Palliative Home Care, Palliative Consult Team in Acute Care, and was the Director of Clinical Care at Rosedale Hospice in Calgary from 2009 to 2018. Allison launched her business, Expected Outcome, in May 2022 to support and educate people on death, grief, and bereavement.
Tune in!
Key Highlights from the Episode;
[00:30] Episode intro and a quick bio of the guest; Alison potter
[00:56] Give A Mile, the Why behind it, and what they offer in the end-of-life space
[06:16] Alison’s role as an outreach coordinator and flight recipient at Give A Mile
[07:34] How to donate money or miles to Give A Mile and how they work
[09:39] Inspiring stories of recent flight applicants’ unforgeable reunion experiences
[16:09] The maximum amount Give A Mile provides and why they don’t disclose it
[17:26] Grief and how Allison supports people through her business “Expected Outcome.”
[20:57] Why sharing stories and using the name of the deceased is priceless
[25:44] Alison’s word of encouragement to those grieving for pets
[29:09] Wrap-up and end of the show
Notable Quotes● End-of-life care can be anywhere; residential hospice, home, hospital, and long-term care center, or in an ICU where the outcome is uncertain and someone is not expected to survive. [04:04]
● Telling someone grieving that you know how they feel, they can have another baby, or time heals our wounds hurts because it doesn’t; grief is a price for love, and it’s lifelong. [19:04]
● Be there, say the right things, and talk about the disease by name, grief is already sad, and by doing this, you are not making them sadder; you are giving them an opportunity to get their loved one name out loud again. [21:48]
Let’s ConnectAlison Potter
Website: https://giveamile.org/
Website: https://expectedoutcome.ca/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alison-potter-rn-bscn-chpcn-b449064b/?
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thealybird
Marie's Contact: [email protected] www.hospiceexplained.com http://buymeacoffee.com/hospice [email protected] Leave a Voicemail: 206-705-3080
Previous Episode
Blessings in Disguise With Andrew T. Shaw
Blessings in Disguise With Andrew T. Shaw
The impact of losing a loved one differs for each person. Death, with its brutal certainty, carries a mysterious beauty for some people. It may be a blessing in disguise sometimes. Though the blessings may be hard to see at first, embracing them allows us to cherish life and the memory of those we have lost. Acknowledging the pain, hurt, and loneliness that follows grief is essential because you are not alone in your journey.
Join this conversation with your host Marie Betcher as coach Andrew T. Shaw joins her. In 2019, just after Christmas, Andrew suffered the heartbreaking loss of his father. Amidst his grief, he continues to find solace in counting the blessings bestowed upon him during the final week in Hospice. Each person's end-of-life journey is unique, yet many powerful parallels exist. Andrew documented those experiences in a book, “Cheers, Dad," that can be found as an audiobook in Audible and also on Amazon. By sharing the blessings experienced in those last days and embracing their significance in this episode, Andrew will motivate you to discover strength and comfort to navigate this difficult period.
Tune in!
Key Highlights from the Episode;
[00:00] Introduction to the show and quick bio of the quest; Andrew T. Shaw
[03:13] Andrew’s backstory and what he does in his space to make the world better
[05:21] Name of Andrew’s book and how you can get your copy
[07:54] The six months of Andrew’s dad in hospice care
[08:46] The unmatched benefits of starting hospice care sooner
[10:11] How hospice helps one get rid of the fear of death
[12:52] Andrew’s double tragedy of an injured mum while dad was in hospice
[16:23] The availability of nurses in the six months of his dad’s hospice care
[17:25] Things Andrew had to fix and adjust while going through hospice
[18:55] Experiences of his dad’s last week before passing on
[24:29] One of the greatest moments of communication he had with his dad
[27:33] The hard question to ask your loved one
[27:55] Wrap-up and end of the show
Notable Quotes● It’s always a blessing when hospice is started earlier. [08:46]
● Most people are never into the reality of death. Hospice aims to remove that fear and get you mentally ready. [10:11]
● As hard as it can be, you must gain the courage to ask your loved one how they would want a celebration of their life well lived to look like. [27:35]
Resources Mentioned- Marie’s other podcast, Hospice Encounters: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hospice-encounters/id1622451693
- Andrew’s Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/Cheers-Dad-Audiobook/B0BKR4JBPD
- CHEERS, DAD: Blessings from his last week in Hospice by Andrew T. Shaw: https://amzn.to/3CBiTmd
If you would like to share an encounter with hospice, please email me at [email protected]
Do you want to Support this podcast with a coffee? You can do so here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hospice.
Marie's Contact: [email protected] www.hospiceexplained.com http://buymeacoffee.com/hospice [email protected] Leave a Voicemail: 206-705-3080
Next Episode
When is it time for Hospice
When Is It Time For Hospice
When it comes to deciding on hospice care, timing is crucial. Hospice care is typically considered when a patient has a terminal illness or life-limiting condition, and curative treatments are no longer effective or beneficial. The primary focus of hospice is to provide comfort, support, and dignity in the end-of-life journey. This critical juncture is reached when the patient's healthcare team determines that their end of life is approaching. The decision to transition to hospice care is never easy, but it allows patients to receive specialized medical attention, pain management, emotional support, and assistance with daily activities in the comfort of their own homes or a hospice facility. It also provides peace of mind to family members, who can be assured that their loved one will be cared for compassionately during this challenging time. Hospice enhances the quality of life for both the patient and their family as they navigate the final chapter of life together.
Join the conversation with your host Marie Betcher as she delves deeper into this sensitive topic of when it is time for hospice care and gain insights into the medical indicators that signify the need for hospice and the range of services and supports you can reach out to help your loved one get appropriate care. Marie also shares the stories of her mom's end-of-life health decline, pivotal points and home nursing care to provide a heartfelt perspective on the compassionate care needed during this difficult journey.
Tune in!
Key Highlights from the Episode;
[00:00] Introduction to the show
[01:13] When is it time for hospice
[02:40] Options available when it’s not hospice
[03:52] Marie’s mom end of life health decline and home nursing care
[11:55] How pivoting and being proactive can make all the difference
[13:28] The importance of having a primary care doctor for your loved one
[14:01] Reaching out and communicating accurately to describe your loved one's needs
[16:01] Wrap-up and end of the show
Notable Quotes● Every person is unique, and their process at the end of life is at their own pace. [01:21]
● It’s really important not to be alone in decision-making; it’s helpful to have a doctor who understands your particular individual needs; this relationship has so much value. [03:30]
● Hospice or the end of life takes two physicians to certify that the end of life is approaching for someone to be declared hospice. [13:45]
● If you have this gut feeling that your loved one is approaching the end of life or if your loved one is saying the end of life is coming, and there is an illness or a process going on, try and make an appointment with a doctor to discuss your goals of care and how the end of life might go. [14:01]
Resources MentionedMarie’s other podcast, Hospice Encounters: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hospice-encounters/id1622451693
Share An Encounter?If you would like to share an encounter with hospice, please email me at [email protected]
Let’s ConnectMarie's Contact: [email protected] www.hospiceexplained.com http://buymeacoffee.com/hospice [email protected] a Voicemail: 206-705-3080
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