Hope for the Caregiver

"We've done everything possible to save this leg, all that's left is amputation – when you're ready, we'll have that conversation."

Those words came from Gracie's surgeon, following numerous operations to save her right leg - crushed and disfigured in her 1983 car accident. Everyone in Gracie's life, including me, had an opinion about this – and Gracie understandably struggled mightily during this time. At twenty-five, with a toddler, the decision weighed heavily on her young heart.

Setting an appointment with our pastor, Bob, she limped into his office on her mangled right foot. As she sat quietly in his study, he stated, "Gracie, this room is off-limits to every other voice telling you what to do. My job is to help quieten the noise so you can hear your heart – and God's leading.”

Gracie pondered for more than an hour while Pastor Bob sat at his desk – no words passed between them. Finally, Gracie looked up with tear-filled eyes and said, "I'm terrified of doing this," she whispered. Gaining strength, she continued, "But I can't live this way any longer – it's got to come off."

Nodding somberly, he assured Gracie he'd be with her through the ordeal – and he kept his word.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give to others struggling with heartbreaking decisions is to clear the room, quieten the noise, and sit with them. Most know what needs to be done, but need a quiet place to process the fear and heartache – while assured that they’re not alone.

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side; bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

leave to your God to order and provide; in ev'ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul; your best, your heav’nly friend through thorny ways leads to a joyful end. – Kathrina von Schlegel

When Carole Leathem’s husband, Bill, first began his battle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, she had no idea years of rejection and identity issues would come to a head. After all, when you’re the wife of a senior pastor, there are certain expectations that come with it. Imperfection and mental illness are not among them.

Visit Carole's Site: https://www.thecaretakersjourney.com/

Get Carole's Book

Using foundational, Biblical truths, Rhianna’s upbeat nature is gracious, refreshing, and generates an empowering excitement to take on any obstacle with supernatural strength and courage. Her journey of being mother to her amazing daughter, Kaiya, with severe special needs, has led her to a tangible knowledge of those Biblical truths.

www.RhiannaSanford.com

About Peter Rosenberger

Now in his 35th year as a caregiver for his wife, Gracie, through her extreme medical challenges, Peter Rosenberger draws upon his lifetime of experience to offer a lifeline to fellow caregivers. His radio program, Hope for the Caregiver, is heard weekly on more than 200 stations.

Sometimes, we fail to consider the soberness of forgiveness. We may feel pressure from others to forgive and forget - all too quickly.

Respecting the trauma we endure - and often cause - allows for greater healing in our lives and hopefully in our relationships. Forgiveness is intentional and deserves careful deliberation.

If you find these podcasts meaningful, please help us do more at www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/giving

“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.” Bill Watterson The Complete Calvin and HobbesGuilt will eat you up as a caregiver.

• You can walk. They can't.
• You can easily get showered and dressed, they can't.
• He's lonely and isolated and want to you to be with the all the time. You have other commitments.
• She's in pain. Your're not.
• We push ourselves to extremes, often out of guilt.

You can't put that kind of beating on yourself everyday and expect to give quality care to a loved one.Most individuals experience a “slow growth” into maturity and life crises. But, as caregivers, we often find ourselves in life’s “express lane,” managing crisis after crisis, sometimes dealing with life-and-death issues. The stress from the non-stop barrage dulls our senses, and may even eat away at our moral compass. When we do fail, guilt from the failure gnaws at the soul. So we work even harder, denying ourselves more, thus adding additional pressures to our already-stress-filled lives.But, guilt is not the answer. Guilt doesn’t strengthen relationships; it destroys them. Caregivers can’t effectively live and serve others while bearing so heavy a burden of shame or guilt. So, we must apply grace to those guilty feelings. By consistently reminding ourselves that God’s grace covers our sins, we discover that guilt no longer whips us into a frenzy. Grace frees us to love and to serve with a clean heart. Sometimes, remembering God’s grace is not day-to-day thing; it’s a minute-to-minute lifeline. -From HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER ©2014 Peter W. Rosenberger, Worthy Publishers