
Holy Watermelon
Holy Watermelon
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Top 10 Holy Watermelon Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Holy Watermelon episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Holy Watermelon for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Holy Watermelon episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

Leviathan to Lovecraft
Holy Watermelon
10/10/22 • 51 min
Monsters play a huge role in most of the old religions. From Jormungandr to Leviathan, monsters can embody chaos, or they can protect sacred ground. Generally, they are used to instill obedience in people, but sometimes they simply help to explain why the world is a mess. Join us as we dive into the realm of religious traditions surrounding chaos monsters.
Monsters serve to *demonstrate* or reveal the evil within the hearts of a people--or, that's the theory, anyway. They delineate the realm of chaos from the orderly cosmos, and they preserve that boundary.
Also, we talk about Cthulhu and the outer gods, and the risk of insanity that comes with knowing the unknowable.
From the Litani River, to the Jordan River, to the Norwegian Sea, the great sea monster is a foe of the gods of thunder and lightning. Whether Tiamat or Typhon, the king of the gods will preserve order by putting chaos in it's place.
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Stop Hitting Yourself
Holy Watermelon
05/20/24 • 71 min
If sin were ugly, the world would be a paradise. Sin has a lot of faces in religious traditions around the world, some more consequential than others.
Hamartiology is the study of sin, and it looks like some folk only want to define the line so they know how close they can stand. Sin is simply the misstep or error that divides people. Some people are more interested in listing sins than in uniting people. Ther principle that defines sin even exists in atheist philosophy, when appropriately defined.
Buddhist thinkers differ on the value of discussing sin, some deny the principle altogether, others recognize that harm begets harm.
In Shinto doctrine, sin (or tsumi) is the idea that bad things have lingering effects, this even includes personal ugliness in cultural manifestation. Harae is the process of cleaning up those things that get in our way.
Thinking about karma too much is bad, but doing bad things gives you more bad karma, so that's even worse.
The Decalogue (Ten Commandments) is a terrible misnomer, built on the cultural obsession with round numbers. There are in fact 14 individual commandments in the decalogue, that's why different traditions give different lists. The Torah actually lists 613 commandments, but they don't have the weight of the decalogue, not being written by the finger of God.
The Seven Deadly Sins are great, but poorly understood by many, we'll give you the short version.
As the Doctor says, "Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many."
The sacrifice of Christ as taught by most Christians was a lot more than a rough weekend of not being alive, it included intense suffering beyond the comprehension of most, all to empower his demand that we orgive one another, just as we need forgiveness.
All this and more....
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Receiving Red Rope
Holy Watermelon
01/27/25 • 59 min
Kabbalah isn't just another branch of Judaism--it's more mystical and personal. The idea is hat you really connect with the creator of the universe--but if you fail at that, there's always another shot with the benefits of reincarnation.
Mystical concerns include finding hidden meaning (often in places where it ought not to be) through astrology or gematria (numerology). The Zohar adds depth to the Torah, though not everybody is interested in this newer interpretation of scripture. The Spanish Rabbi who gave us the Zohar is still under investigation for fraud....
The sefirot, and their tree of life illustration, are helpful for understanding how everything fits together in this cosmic theology.
We also explore more mundane practices and misconceptions.
All this and more...
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Fake Me To Church
Holy Watermelon
04/26/21 • 81 min
TW: Cults are pretty icky and we talk about abuse in this episode in addition to Katie's potty mouth.
What is a cult? Like religion, it’s very hard to define what a cult is. In this episode, we go over definitions we like and don’t like. A cult can be a group that is led by someone who doesn’t believe what he teaches but teaches to get gain or a group that you’re scared to leave.
Did you know all religions start as cults? All* religions start as cults. Judaism is historically known as the cult of Yahweh or the cult of Israel. Fervent or zealous believers rallying around a charismatic leader – Christianity, anyone?
Cults take ideas that may have been outside of the previous faith and incorporate them which alienates them from the original group.
Getting involved in a cult usually starts with being told things you already believe. They tell you things that don’t sound crazy or reiterate things you already believe. Slowly new doctrines are added that are adjacent to your beliefs and over time you are far away from where you started.
People who join cults are typically pretty normal people. Cults target people who are mentally healthy at a vulnerable part in their life, or at a crossroads. This brings long-term stability to the cult as opposed to members with chronic mental health issues.
How do we determine if a cult is dangerous, or just an off-shoot of a major religion?
We discuss the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control. BITE stands for behaviour control, information control, thought control and emotional control.
If you want to learn more about cults, how they work and how to identify them, check out this episode!
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Both Hosts 00:00
One of us, one of us, one of us!
Katie Dooley 00:18
I've been planning that opening.
Preston Meyer 00:20
I like it.
Katie Dooley 00:24
Because today, we're talking about dun dun dun..
Preston Meyer 00:28
Cults! The danger religions.
Katie Dooley 00:32
Ooo I like that.
Preston Meyer 00:35
From talking to people, that seems to be like the big difference between cults and religions. Of course, scholarly discussion has no use for that definition, but...
Katie Dooley 00:47
We'll get into that in just a minute. We thought this would be a good topic today, because we spent last episode talking about belief and how people believe things more than why people believe things how belief is a...
Preston Meyer 01:03
Super complicated thing
Katie Dooley 01:05
Psychological function so like a philosophical debate
Preston Meyer 01:11
It's so complicated.
Katie Dooley 01:12
It's complicated
Preston Meyer 01:13
But I love it.
Katie Dooley 01:14
So we thought we'd make it more complicated by discussing why po-people believe weird things. There's a lot of weird stuff out there. Do we want to start about start with talking about why people get involved in cults to begin with? Or do we want to start with time, but what a cult actually is.
Preston Meyer 01:37
Well see, like religions, or the idea of religion, it's very hard to define in a way where you aren't cutting out things that do belong, and/or including things that don't belong and cults has that exact same problem. The word cult is too nebulous. It's, it's too tricky. I've got a couple of ideas that are helpful for that discussion, for defining the word. But I don't think that they're solid definitions on their own either.
Katie Dooley 02:15
I found some definitions that I pointed out to you that I actually didn't like, because you're right. There's so many exceptions to the rule that yeah, maybe let's start with those three. And I can tell you why I don't like them. If you want to debunk any if you have any rebuttals, I'd love to hear them. The definitions I found break down the difference between a church, a sect and a cult. And again, I don't like any of these. So number one, a church is a conventional religious organization, please go see episode two.
Preston Meyer 02:51
What counts is conventional?
Katie Dooley 02:53
Right? Even big, recognized religions have so...

Who Loves Lucy?
Holy Watermelon
09/26/22 • 42 min
We've explored the fallacy of pagans and atheists bowing to Satan, and outlined some of the "Satanist" groups that don't believe he's a real personality. Now let's look at the real deal: the folks who genuinely worship a living Satan. Even with these groups, it's probably not what you would expect.
Most of these groups grow out of a resentment for the Christian establishment. Some of these groups are terribly anti-semitic, and in wonderfully odd ways; others have a troubling history of domestic abuse. The Order of the Nine Angles and the Joy of Satan Ministries get to join the list with the Temple of Set and the Luciferians on this new look at the spooky traditions that are growing in the world around us.
We also talk about Freemasons again, and the Leo Taxil hoax of the 1890s.
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Hanukkah Matata
Holy Watermelon
12/06/21 • 45 min
Did you know that the 8-day Jewish celebration of Hanukkah isn't in the Hebrew Bible? It's origins are much more recent than that! This episode, we learn about how the celebration of Hanukkah began with the Maccabees, and how your Jewish friends and family celebrate today.
All this and more....
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**
Katie Dooley 00:09
atheist not doing it needed at Clay and went strain ready the day that I shall play. Hey, today on the holy watermelon podcast are talking about Hanukkah, right wanted that as our soft opening so I thought I'd oblige. I like it last episode we talked about Diwali, which is the Hindu festival of light. And now we're talking about Hanukkah, which is the Jewish festival of light. Yay,
Preston Meyer 00:47
yay. That's pretty awesome. I've been celebrating Hanukkah for a long time. Now you have and
Katie Dooley 00:54
it's always fun. Can I ask why you started doing that?
Preston Meyer 00:58
As I'm trying to remember the first thing that that really made me want to do it. And I think it was mostly about celebrating the dedication of the temple. And the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has a few temples that were dedicated over Hanukkah, which, out of almost 200 temples, it's a very small handful that are dedicated over Hanukkah, which is the festival of celebration of the dedication of the temple, the temple. Yeah. So it's kind of cool. And the Edmonton temple fairly close to here is one of those very few that's dedicated over Hanukkah.
Katie Dooley 01:40
Interesting. Hanukkah means dedication. Exactly. Sounds very redundant.
Preston Meyer 01:48
If you didn't get there already, you're there. Now. You're
Katie Dooley 01:51
all here together now.
Preston Meyer 01:54
Yeah. And so this year, it ran from November 28 to December 6, which is the day that this episode will be reaching our listeners. Katie's double check. I
Katie Dooley 02:06
really don't know if I believe you. 22 Six, Okay, you're right. Yes, Hanukkah is over today. Yay. Happy.
Preston Meyer 02:22
So for those of you who have been celebrating Hanukkah, I hope you've been enjoying it.
Katie Dooley 02:28
So, so future, Katie, you'll have already gone to prescence Hanukkah party when she hasn't even confirmed if he's having it or not. That's cool. I definitely told you we were doing more traveling. Yeah, so that made me I'm not invited. Similar to Diwali, its Hanukkah is celebrated on the 25th day of Kislev of the Hebrew calendar. And the Hebrew calendar is also a lunar lunar calendar just like the Hindu and Muslim calendar. My from what I've read, it's basically only the Gregorian calendar, which is what we follow. That is a solar calendar. Everything else seems pretty lunar.
Preston Meyer 03:07
I mean, I've never looked into it, but I bet you there's a couple other solar calendars out there. So we
Katie Dooley 03:11
should do an episode on calendars, because some of them are tied to religions, right? Absolutely.
Preston Meyer 03:18
I mean, the Gregorian calendar is a religious calendar. It's basically the Catholic calendar. It's slightly different from the Julian calendar, which started out in Rome as well, but was basically yeah, it got abandoned by the Catholics and the Orthodox like, oh, we still like it for a while.
Katie Dooley 03:40
Anyway, that's a digression. But we'll maybe we'll do an episode on calendars. So just like Diwali, it's meant to be solid braided during the darkest days of the year, because it's the festival of light to help with both the metaphor and to make the light Salaat more spectacular.
Preston Meyer 03:56
Yeah, that's pretty great. So even though it happens in December, alongside huge holidays, like the ones you're familiar with Christmas and ...

Is He Caliphied?
Holy Watermelon
03/13/23 • 40 min
What qualifies a man to lead the Ummah? Islam, like any religious tradition, is not monolithic. Let's explore the history of schisms and the personalities behind them in the early Islamic period. After Muhammad's death in 632 CE, there was a succession crisis; for some, it was a bigger crisis than for others.
The first to be elected to take over leadership was Abu Bakr, the prophet's father-in-law. For decades, the followers of Muhammad were fairly united, until one of his sons-in-law, Ali ibn Abi Talib, took over as the fourth caliph. This was followed by a great schism between what would come to be known as the Sunni and Shia Muslims.
The Shia have splintered further since the 7th century: The Ismailis adhere to inheritance of a lost son, and the Twelvers hope for the return of a mysterious claim of a hidden child.
Despite the many schisms that established the disunity of Islamic thought, there is much that they retain in common.
We also explore the traditions that fuel the authoritarian fundamental extremists that so many are rightly worried about.
All this and more...
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Questionable Saints
Holy Watermelon
12/04/23 • 51 min
There's no shortage of saints with questionable careers, even during their "faithful years." For others, we might be looking at people who never existed. Let's explore more saints who might not deserve such exalted status.
We can say with almost rock solid certainty that Saint Vernoica never existed. She is famed for the veil that bears the imprinted face of Christ--in fact, that's how the name Veronica was derived: the TRUE ICON [of Christ]. Nothing about her can be verified, but the veil (certainly a hoax) has well documented travels and miracles.
Saint George of Lydda is the patron of several countries and military bodies, but there's some doubt on whether he was real. Certainly, his most famous conquest of the dragon is a fiction, typical of the knightly figures of the middle ages, and nothing more. If the man is real, then he might have been a soldier-martyr under Diocletian, and that--at least--is worth some regard, but the doubt remains--especially surrounding his various forms of attempted execution. To add further confusion around the figure, his popularity among Muslims brought new tales to his martyrdom.
Saint Angela of Foligno might have led a misguided life before confessing her Christian faith and joining the Church of Rome, but what's chilling is the possibility that she murdered her family to focus on her religious observances. She certainly liked being in the limelight, so prophecy and theological literature became the new means to that end. Always be suspicious of people who can't handle being out of the spotlight.
Mother Teresa of Calcutta (Agnes of Kolkata) was a vicious monster! Even though we've spoken of her before, there's more to say. While Katie might focus a little too much on Teresa's crisis of faith, there's a lot to unpack around how happy Teresa was to see other people suffer. Add to that the fraudulent fundraising she did for the church and you get somebody who was sainted with alarming speed.
They're not all bad saints, some of them never existed at all. For more saints that make bad role models, check out our June 2021 episode, "Guess Who's Been Sainted."
All this and more....
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Apes Together Strong
Holy Watermelon
08/15/22 • 66 min
Fascism has earned an ugly name over the last century, no question about it. Some religions lean into it, some look forward to a day when it can be openly celebrated, especially in monotheistic traditions. This week, we're exploring what it really means to be inside, to see fascism differently than what history has shown us. Straight out of the mouths of Benito Mussolini and Francisco Franco, we examine the difficulty in defining fascism, and why some Christians are taking advantage of that obscurity.
We get a little help from Umberto Eco and Stanley Payne in our efforts to delineate the nature of the beast, but few organizations hit all the landmarks--watch out for the ones that do. Ultimately, when it comes to religious groups throwing their hats in with the fascists, as we see all around the world today, it's up to every good person to stand against these fundamentalist authoritarian parties while it's still safe to do so.
All this and more....
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Sinclair Lewis: “When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross”
[00:00:01] Katie Dooley: I felt like you were gonna inject something else there.
[00:00:18] Preston Meyer: We don't usually record this early.
[00:00:21] Katie Dooley: Yeah, I thought you were going to say something. You did.
[00:00:23] Preston Meyer: Yeah.
[00:00:24] Katie Dooley: Yeah. No, we don't record this early. And you can tell on this episode of.
[00:00:31] Both Speakers: The Holy Watermelon Podcast
[00:00:35] Katie Dooley: Everyone can hear our morning voices.
[00:00:36] Preston Meyer: Yum, yum.
[00:00:39] Katie Dooley: We're ready to roll.
[00:00:40] Preston Meyer: We'll see.
[00:00:42] Katie Dooley: So last episode we talked about.
[00:00:45] Preston Meyer: Communism.
[00:00:45] Katie Dooley: Communism. Why are we talking about this episode?
[00:00:48] Preston Meyer: Today we're going to talk about fascism.
[00:00:50] Katie Dooley: The opposite.
[00:00:52] Preston Meyer: I mean, they're not opposites. They're on two different spectrums. Communism is an economic policy that leans into politics in other ways. A little bit. Fascism is a governmental style that occasionally includes economic policies. And just like last time when we talked about communism, we brought it around to validate its presence on our podcast. And fascism does a really good job of pushing its way into the religious sphere.
[00:01:28] Katie Dooley: I was gonna say it's like self-validating.
[00:01:31] Preston Meyer: Uh, the vast majority of Christians are patiently waiting for a world where everybody will kneel at the throne of a single God, one that is painted as darkly totalitarian in several Christian traditions. And this looks a little bit fascist in some situations. So before we get into what that looks like in the religious sphere, I think we do need to talk about fascism in general. And if we're not describing you personally, we're probably not talking about you. A lot of people get their heckles up about fascism. It's a word that gets used as a weird pejorative. An awful lot more than it should. Yeah, a lot of people just don't like the word fascism because, you know, the fascists were the enemies during the Second World War. And that's actually the only association that a lot of people have with the word is fascists are the bad guys without any understanding why. So very few.
[00:02:32] Katie Dooley: To the point where some people don't even realize that they themselves are a fascist.
[00:02:35] Preston Meyer: Correct. Because they don't understand the word. They don't recognize what it means.
[00:02:40] Katie Dooley: I think Steve Rogers would really be really upset with the state of America right now.
[00:02:44] Preston Meyer: That definitely played into his representation in the MCU that when we first see him, he's got the star on, he's got the stripes. His second movie, the Winter soldier....

Guess Who's Been Sainted
Holy Watermelon
06/21/21 • 81 min
"You're a saint" might not be such a big compliment once you hear this episode! There are a lot of saints in the Roman Catholic Church... we're talking about some more questionable ones!
In this episode, we’re talking about five Catholic saints that probably shouldn’t be saints.
Saint Barbara
While her story is interesting, we have no evidence that Barbara ever existed!
Saint Bernard of Clairvaux
Saint Bernard was really devoted to Mary. Like, a little too devoted. The miracle that got him canonized is an intimate dream her had about Mary feeding the baby Jesus and squirting some milk at Saint Bernard.
Saint Thomas Moore
A devout Catholic, Thomas Moore oppressed the Protestant reformation. He didn’t want anyone wrecking his version of Christianity so he even stopped the printing and distribution of the Bible in English by destroying buildings and printing presses. If you didn’t agree with his beliefs, well he had no problem using violence against you.
Saint Junipero
Saint Junipero was a Catholic missionary that founded settlements across what is modern-day California. He was a big fan of corporal punishment and slave labour. As he converted the indigenous community of the region he forced them to do hard labour in cramped and unsanitary conditions. He was recently canonized by Pope Francis, who should’ve known better.
Mother Teresa
A literal monster, Mother Teresa created shelters for the sick and dying in Kolkata, India. However, she believed that suffering was a gift from God and that people should accept their suffering like Christ on the cross. Her mission raised hundreds of millions of dollars, but none of the money ever went to help the poor beyond sheltering them. She also baptized people without their consent to increase the numbers of the Catholic Church. She openly admitted in an interview that she didn’t do her work to help people, but rather to help the church. Oh yeah, and she would reuse needles on patients.
In addition to chatting about saints that should be saints, we discuss the process of canonization in the Roman Catholic Church and the difference between veneration and worship (hint, there isn’t any!)
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*******
Katie Dooley 00:12
Hi, Katie. How are you? Oh, great.
Preston Meyer 00:15
Excellent. Ready
Katie Dooley 00:16
to record another episode of
Preston Meyer 00:19
this the holy watermelon podcast? Absolutely, I am. Man, I've put a lot of work into studying this subject today actually
Katie Dooley 00:28
did so much and I've done so little. I'll just chime in with charming quips and and that's how I'll probably do this. I think I'll introduce it because I don't for it heart. Yeah. This is all person's idea. We're kind of going off of our path. We've we really thought methodically about what the next episode in the next episode next episode will be. And there's just so much content to cover on this topic. We didn't really know what to pick. So it's sort of throw a dart at a wall.
Preston Meyer 01:01
We used a couple of ideas here and there. And I feel like an episode or two ago, I teased what this one was going to be yes.
Katie Dooley 01:09
So today, we're talking about saints. That shouldn't be saints.
Preston Meyer 01:17
Yeah, there's there's a lot of complicated business around sainthood. Specifically, we're talking about the saints of the Roman Catholic tradition. Their the, their tradition is the most well recognized. system of saints were saints mean something.
Katie Dooley 01:36
Yeah, we haven't dived into Catholicism specifically, we had our Messiah Complex episode Christianity as a whole. But yeah, saints are huge in the Roman Catholic Church to the point where they're near deities, people pray specifically to their patron saint.
Preston Meyer 01:56
Yeah. It's, it's a behavior that is called veneration, but looks an awful lot like worship to me. We'll get into that a little bit later.
Katie Dooley 02:08
I figured we would start the episode with how does one even become a saint? So that we have a it's, how do I put this, you don't just become a s...
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FAQ
How many episodes does Holy Watermelon have?
Holy Watermelon currently has 115 episodes available.
What topics does Holy Watermelon cover?
The podcast is about Catholic, Islam, Christianity, Learn, Theology, Society & Culture, Atheism, Hindu, History, Hinduism, Buddhism, Holidays, Occult, Religion & Spirituality, God, Jewish, Catholicism, Podcasts, Holy, Belief, Education, Witchcraft, Religion, Philosophy, Judaism, Freemason, Atheist, Cult and Christian.
What is the most popular episode on Holy Watermelon?
The episode title 'Leviathan to Lovecraft' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on Holy Watermelon?
The average episode length on Holy Watermelon is 57 minutes.
How often are episodes of Holy Watermelon released?
Episodes of Holy Watermelon are typically released every 14 days.
When was the first episode of Holy Watermelon?
The first episode of Holy Watermelon was released on Oct 5, 2020.
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