History's Trainwrecks

Lousiana governor Huey Long had learned a lot from his impeachment trial, and it was no more Mr. Nice Governor down in the bayou.

He wanted to expand a road-building program and build a new massive state capitol building as a lasting monument to his reign. The legislature (and Huey's own brother) opposed the plan, so Huey had to come up with a way to persuade them, and make sure he retained power.

His answer: he was going to run for the United States Senate.

But there were two men who had damaging secrets about the governor, and something had to be done about them before the election.

So Huey had them kidnapped.

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The Bay of Pigs invasion was, to coin a phrase, a train wreck.

Fidel Castro had come to power in Cuba in 1959, planting a Communist country right on America’s back porch. Having a Soviet satellite ninety miles away from American soil was, shall we say, troubling.

The Eisenhower Administration approved a CIA plan to train Cuban exiles and provide them with weapons and air support for an invasion of the island. The expectation was that the Cuban people would rise up in rebellion and topple the Castro regime.

The train went off the tracks pretty early. Despite efforts to keep the mission a secret, the invasion plan was widely known among the Cuban community in Miami. Castro’s intelligence service found out about the training camps the CIA had set up in Guatemala, and some of the details of the plans made it into the press.

Fidel Castro was not going to be surprised.

President John F. Kennedy authorized the invasion, which was a massive failure that resulted in 1200 prisoners ending up in Castro's hands. He would let them go free, if the United States sent him five hundred heavy-duty tractors.

This was about to get interesting.

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The ghost of William McKinley appeared to him in a dream, and told him to kill Theodore Roosevelt.

John Schrank was thirty-six years old, unemployed, and unhinged. During the presidential campaign of 1912, “he read in two New York newspapers that the Colonel was determined to overthrow the Constitution.” It had been eleven years since the ghost of the slain President had pointed his finger at Roosevelt in Schrank’s nightmare and said, “This is my murderer, avenge my death.”

The time had come.

Presidential Safety Tip Number Two Hundred Fifty-Seven: President of the United States should always be the last job you ever have.

Teddy was getting ready to address a crowded auditorium in Milwaukee on October 14th, 1912. He had written his speech and folded it into his right jacket pocket. He left his hotel and went out to his open car and got seated. A crowd gathered, and he stood up to bow, waving his hat.

John Schrank, who had followed Teddy from New Orleans to Milwaukee, fired one shot, striking Teddy in the chest. One of Roosevelt's bodyguards, Elbert Martin, an ex-football player, tackled Schrank right when he fired, having seen the gun and rushed over.

Teddy had "dropped without a sound," and was feared dead, but he pulled himself up. He seemed unhurt, and asked Martin to bring the would-be assassin to the side of the car. "Don't hurt him," Teddy ordered. "Bring him here." Teddy took Schrank's head in both hands to see if he recognized him. All he saw was "the dull-eyed, unmistakable expressionlessness of insanity." He asked Schrank, "What did you do it for?" then, getting no answer, ordered his guards to turn Schrank over to the police.

Teddy told his guards that Schrank had "plinked" him. They tried to get him to go to the hospital. Teddy rasped, "You get me to that speech."

***

Teddy went on to speak for nearly an hour and half, tossing the sheets of his speech down as he reached the end of a page, as had always been his practice when giving speeches. (These pages were snapped up by the crowd as souvenirs. These were even better, as each page had a bullet hole in it). His aides stood waiting below to catch him if he passed out.

His face was white after eighty minutes, but he made it to the end of his speech. After that, amid the roaring and applause of the crowd, he told his doctor, "Now I am ready to go with you and do what you want."

He made it through the crowd, many of whom wanted to shake his hand and slap him on the back as if he didn't have a new bullet stuck in his ribs, and was checked in to Milwaukee's Emergency Hospital. The news of the assassination attempt flashed around the country. Edith Roosevelt was pulled out of her box at a theatre during the performance to be told. She said, "Take me to where I can talk to him or hear from him at once."

An X-ray found the bullet. After passing through Teddy's thick overcoat, fifty pages of his speech folded in half, his steel-reinforced spectacle case, his suspender belt, shirt and undershirt, the bullet still retained enough force to crack a rib. Two things had saved his life: the glasses he had needed since he was a small boy, and his penchant for giving long speeches.

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Sources

Morris, Edmund. “Colonel Roosevelt.” Random House, 2010.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “William Howard Taft.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

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George Washington was just some guy the British never heard of.

General Thomas Gage, commander of British troops in America in the early days of the Revolution, made a point of not addressing George Washington by his rank, and made sure that no one else did either. Although he was following official British military policy of not giving validity to anyone in rebellion against the Crown, General Gage did it with a kind of insufferable arrogance all out of proportion to the situation at hand.

I wonder why?

Well. Maybe it’s because George Washington once saved his life. After the father of our country started the French and Indian War.

This may be a bit awkward.

Thanks for listening, and for your support of the History's Trainwrecks Podcast.

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Sources for this episode:

De Fonblanque, Edward Barrington, 1821-1895. "Political And Military Episodes In the Latter Half of the Eighteenth Century: Derived From the Life And Correspondence of the Right Hon. John Burgoyne, General, Statesman, Dramatist". London: Macmillan and co., 1876. (around page 200 for letters to Washington)

Ellis, Joseph J. "His Excellency: George Washington". Vintage, 2005.

Marshall, John. "The Life of George Washington". Derby & Jackson, 1857.

McCullough, David, “1776” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Wikipedia. “Thomas Gage.” 2021.

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The richest man in the world was on the run.

President Theodore Roosevelt’s Justice Department was planning to file an antitrust suit against Rockefeller’s Standard Oil Company in 1906, and the states wanted to get into the action before the Attorney General did. Multiple lawsuits were filed against the directors of the company that controlled over ninety percent of oil production in the United States and had, by prevailing accounts, used unfair practices to gain its monopoly in the market.

Once the floodgates of lawsuits against Standard Oil opened, the focus landed on the company’s origins and rise to power, which meant the testimony of the company’s founder was essential. And of course, having the richest man in the world dragged into your courtroom was a pretty big deal. Process servers and newsmen engaged in a massive manhunt to find him and serve him with subpoenas.

But a man with multiple estates and an annual income of over fifty million dollars could hide out anywhere. He wouldn't be found until he wanted to be found.

Unless you followed your nose.

On our next episode, we catch up with “The Most Famous Man in The World” as Teddy Roosevelt returns to America after his African safari and world tour to find that President William Howard Taft has made a real mess of things and just maybe, he will have to do something about it.

Stay tuned for Teddy Roosevelt’s Third Term, Part V.

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

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Sources

American Experience. “The Cleveland Massacre.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/rockefellers-south/

Chernow, Ron. “Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller, Sr.” Vintage, 2007

Ohio History Central. “John D. Rockefeller.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://ohiohistorycentral.org/w/John_D._Rockefeller

Tarbell, Ida M. “The History of the Standard Oil Company: Vol. 1 & 2.” Joe Barta, 2012.

Wikipedia. “John D. Rockefeller.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_D._Rockefeller

Wikipedia. “Standard Oil.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_Oil

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