History's Trainwrecks

The richest man in the world was on the run.

President Theodore Roosevelt’s Justice Department was planning to file an antitrust suit against Rockefeller’s Standard Oil Company in 1906, and the states wanted to get into the action before the Attorney General did. Multiple lawsuits were filed against the directors of the company that controlled over ninety percent of oil production in the United States and had, by prevailing accounts, used unfair practices to gain its monopoly in the market.

Once the floodgates of lawsuits against Standard Oil opened, the focus landed on the company’s origins and rise to power, which meant the testimony of the company’s founder was essential. And of course, having the richest man in the world dragged into your courtroom was a pretty big deal. Process servers and newsmen engaged in a massive manhunt to find him and serve him with subpoenas.

But a man with multiple estates and an annual income of over fifty million dollars could hide out anywhere. He wouldn't be found until he wanted to be found.

Unless you followed your nose.

On our next episode, we catch up with “The Most Famous Man in The World” as Teddy Roosevelt returns to America after his African safari and world tour to find that President William Howard Taft has made a real mess of things and just maybe, he will have to do something about it.

Stay tuned for Teddy Roosevelt’s Third Term, Part V.

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Sources

American Experience. “The Cleveland Massacre.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/rockefellers-south/

Chernow, Ron. “Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller, Sr.” Vintage, 2007

Ohio History Central. “John D. Rockefeller.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://ohiohistorycentral.org/w/John_D._Rockefeller

Tarbell, Ida M. “The History of the Standard Oil Company: Vol. 1 & 2.” Joe Barta, 2012.

Wikipedia. “John D. Rockefeller.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_D._Rockefeller

Wikipedia. “Standard Oil.” Retrieved August 13, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_Oil

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Major General Ambrose Burnside was going to blow some stuff up.

Burnside led troops at the battles of the Wilderness and Spotsylvania Court House in a manner described as “reluctant.” He ended up at the Siege of Petersburg, which was the aftermath of Grant’s failed attempt to defeat Lee in a pitched, decisive battle. Both sides dug trenches and waited. Grant knew his opponent had lost men he could not replace, and supplies were running low. But Lee was clever, and Grant worried that the more time Lee had to strategize, the more likely it was that he might escape. 

The battles leading up to the siege were bloody and costly for the North, and Grant was called a “butcher” for his apparent willingness to sacrifice his men in inconclusive battles. General Grant had his own experience at the siege of Vicksburg to draw upon, where he had learned that sieges were expensive and bad for morale.

Like Burnside, Grant needed something big to turn things around.  

Colonel Henry Pleasants, a mining engineer from Pennsylvania, hatched a plan where he would dig a long shaft under the Confederate trenches, pack it with gunpowder, and blow the whole thing sky-high. This would open a massive hole in the Southern defenses that troops could pour through and attack.

This sounded great to Burnside.

As long as the plan went off without a hitch. 

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Sources

American Battlefield Trust. “The Crater.” Retrieved August 30, 2021 from https://www.battlefields.org/learn/civil-war/battles/crater

Wikipedia, “Ambrose Burnside.” Retrieved August 29, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose_Burnside

Wikipedia, “Battle of Fredericksburg.” Retrieved August 29, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Fredericksburg

Wikipedia, “United States Joint Committee on the Conduct of the War.” Retrieved August 30, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Congressional_Joint_Committee_on_the_Conduct_of_the_War

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Cato the Younger’s exile from Rome began with a cross-dressing aristocrat who had a crush on Julius Caesar’s wife.

In 62 BC, Publius Clodius figured that the best way to get close to Pompeia—Mrs. Caesar—was to dress as a female lute player and worm his way into the Good Goddess ceremony. This religious rite was only attended by women and was being hosted by Caesar’s wife.

Clodius was found out when he spoke to a maid in a deep baritone voice and was eventually caught hiding under a bed. Caesar divorced his wife, asserting that “Caesar’s wife must be above reproach.”

Which she was.

Clodius was hauled into court on charges of “sacrilege and sexual immorality.” Cicero got involved in the case because his wife believed he was having an affair with Clodius’s sister. In order to defend himself, Cicero had to testify that he had seen Clodius in Rome on the day of his offense, which destroyed the alibi Clodius had offered—that he was out of town on the day of his cross-dressing.

Clodius was acquitted, thanks to bribes paid to the jurors by Rome’s rich crime lord Crassus. But his reputation, and with it his political future, was ruined. Instead of the many others Clodius could have blamed for the debacle—well, really just himself—he set the whole thing at Cicero’s feet, despite the fact that Cicero’s involvement in the whole sordid mess was insignificant.

I sure hope Clodius doesn’t find his way to any kind of political power any time soon.

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Theodore Roosevelt was riding high as the election of 1904 approached.

He had secured the Panama Canal (by helping create the nation of Panama). His only rival for the presidential nomination in 1904 was a sickly Senator. The American people loved his antics, even while establishment politicians feared he was too dangerous a lunatic to be running the country. American children, even though they couldn't vote, pestered their parents to get them a Teddy Bear, created after the President refused to shoot a wounded bear on a hunt in Mississippi.

He only had to convince the establishment Republicans he was safe. He sent Elihu Root, the most establishment Republican in the country, to get the message out. Objections to his candidacy slowly disappeared.

The Democrats nominated Judge Alton B. Parker, a gray, taciturn fellow, to run against him. On the surface, it appeared like the Judge had no chance, but Teddy knew that safe and boring was the only thing that could beat him.

Fortunately, the Democrats made a number of mistakes in the campaign. Their nominee stayed on the sidelines, and when he finally came out to fight, the only arrow in his quiver was a conspiracy theory for which he had no proof.

Theodore Roosevelt was elected in a landslide.

All he had to do now was not put his foot in his mouth in any big way.

On Election Night, without consulting anyone, he made the following statement to the press:

“On the fourth of March next I shall have served three and a half years, and this three and a half years constitutes my first term. The wise custom that limits the President to two terms regards the substance and not the form. Under no circumstances will I be a candidate for or accept another nomination.”

Well, Mr. President, I sure hope that isn’t a statement you’ll regret someday. And I REALLY hope it doesn’t cause you to do something dangerous and self-destructive in the next few years.

Fingers crossed...

On our next episode, we enter the regretful phase of Theodore Roosevelt’s political life as he sits out the election of 1908, grows disenchanted with his appointed presidential successor, and storms the election of 1912 like a bull moose.

Stay tuned for Teddy Roosevelt’s Third Term, Part IV.

Thanks for listening, and for your support.

Click here to support the History's Trainwrecks podcast!

Sources for this episode:

Britannica.com “Free Silver Movement.” Retrieved August 4, 2021 from https://www.britannica.com/event/Free-Silver-Movement

Morris, Edmund. “Theodore Rex.” Simon & Schuster, 2006.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “Alton B. Parker.” Retrieved August 3, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alton_B._Parker#Presidential_nomination

Wikipedia, “Teddy Bear.” Retrieved August 3, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teddy_bear

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The 1912 convention was not the Republican Party’s finest hour. Tensions were high as one of the party’s most beloved and successful leaders was pitted against a certain loser come the fall. Roosevelt’s fired-up supporters tried to drown out the proceedings with cheers of “Roosevelt! Roosevelt!” The speaker at the lectern said wearily, “You need not hesitate to cheer Roosevelt in my presence. I cheered him for seven years, and I am just trying to take a day off, that is all.”

Screaming matches and fistfights became distressingly normal, each disturbance another harbinger of defeat in November. By the end of the roll call, Taft had 567 delegates to Teddy’s 507. Ultimately, he was nominated with 561 votes.

Roosevelt’s supporters bolted to Orchestra Hall, where Teddy gave a speech that were the birth pains of a new party—the Progressive or Bull Moose Party. President Taft’s supporters were mute in their victory. The Republican split essentially guaranteed the Democrats would take the White House in the fall.

All that was left to do now was count the votes in November.

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Sources

Morris, Edmund. “Colonel Roosevelt.” Random House, 2010.

Roosevelt, Theodore. “Autobiography of Theodore Roosevelt.”

Wikipedia, “1912 Republican Party Presidential Primaries.” Retrieved September 11, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1912_Republican_Party_presidential_primaries

Wikipedia, “William Howard Taft.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft

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