Hey Aunty!

Delighted to share the next conversation on the subject of learning to loving our bodies. This week we chat with the brilliant and beautiful Fatu Sillah. Please excuse my gravelly voice I was in the depths of a cold when the intro was recorded, so kept it short and sweet. Fatu lives in Sydney and works as a social worker, supporting young people who have been in social care. She grew up in a number of African nations after her family had to leave her birthplace, Sierra Leone when she was young. She moved to Australia in 2004 at the age of 13 and she’s been largely independent from there. Fatu Is An Incredible Woman And my goodness she has lived and learned a lot. She is everything I would wish for in an Aunty and I am so excited to share our conversation with you She is unflinchingly honest about her experiences Proud of her achievements Breaking generational and cultural barriers Real fragile and vulnerable A little bit sweary (beware) Distinctively and impressively her own woman Full of joy and illuminated from within Fatu is a survivor of FGM and an ambassador for No FGM Australia. You should be aware that she talks frankly about her experiences and that means some discussion of sexuality and the body parts involved as well as a bit of strong language. That’s what you need to be - Growing up in the Ivory Coast social norms for beauty are super different to those in ‘the west’. In the West Africa Fatu grew up in, womanhood and beauty was very much about looking plump and healthy. So that’s what young women were conditioned to be, because that’s what men were looking for in a wife. Isn't it fascinating how culture persists, that’s how important it is to us. Governing even things as personal as our relationship with our own bodies. Coming to Australia Culture shock and mind-body separation -Remember the bizarre feeling of living in your body at 13? Fatu experienced all of that, while learning a new country and culture. Most of the time she was trying to simply survive and that threw up a strange situation where her body was a focal point for other people. It was simultaneously the biggest/least of her problems. So many women are faced with that conflict and want to simply fade from view. Fatu speaks so candidly about taking steps to try to erase her difference, just to buy herself enough space to think. Attraction & Objectification - “At home - you’re being told what your body should be...” “In Australia - there's an entire different set of standards projected onto you...” “A waste of time a waste of energy and exhaustion...” “I woke up one day and thought I am beautiful as I am” Fatu Colourism Is Often An Inside Job - I suppose this was about intergenerational trauma. How families pass on harmful norms because that’s what they themselves have inherited and how Fatu has learned to view these people in her own life with compassion. Yet she speaks out, to family and community so that those beliefs are not passed on to the next generation. A beautiful discussion and especially powerful considering the depth of experiences that Fatu has had to reconcile. Owning Her Narrative and Feeling at Home in Her Body - “I don't get angry anymore. It’s part of me I’m going to embrace it” Fatu Being honest about her experience with FGM and it’s impact on her life and health was a risky choice, that must have taken a lot of courage. It’s transformed Fatu’s relationship with her sexuality and body image. She speaks her truth on this and so much else to own her narrative. To be comfortable with her stories is to be comfortable with the way they are carried by her body. She owns her scars and is proud to stand out and revel in her freedom. Pink braids, shining skin, short skirts and bra free if she wants to be. All I can say is Bravo Sis, you deserve every f-ing bit of it. We all do.

We're delving deep and asking 3 incredible black pillars of our community the tough question: Hey Aunty! Why are we like this? In part 1 Shantel catches up with the wonderful Lisa Hilli. Lisa is a contemporary artist, a Collection Manager for Melbourne Museum and a proud descendant of the Tolai and Gunantuna people of Papua New Guinea. Throughout her work Lisa centres indigenous knowledge and matriarchal structures in powerful and moving ways. She’s an artistic and cultural force! Yet she faces the same struggles as the rest of us. Here we get personal and share a beautiful chat about hurting and healing, at the hands of our sisters. Give it a listen, we’d love to hear what you think. Photo by Atong Atem

In part 2 of ‘Hey Aunty! Where’re you from?’ we welcome incredible guest Faustina Agolley. Faustina is a much loved TV Host, Actor, Writer and DJ. She embodies excellence, vulnerability and pride in all of her identities, in a way that’s so warm and accessible that you can forget how subversive and political it is. Faustina and Shantel share a wonderful chat about identity, belonging and the experiences that shape who we know ourselves to be. Those conversations that you mull over for weeks? This is one of those, check it out... Photo by Marija Ivkovic

It's finally here! In part one of 3 instalments we're ready to ask... Hey Aunty! How’d you deal with a dickhead? To kick things off, Shantel catches up with the brilliant Angelina Hurley. Angelina is a proud Aboriginal woman, her heritage is from Jagera, Gooreng Gooreng, Mununjali, Birriah & Kamilaroi peoples. She won’t be silenced, or told that the things that hurt us don’t exist. We know that these ‘harmless dickheads’ make a beeline for anyone who is different, so we have to deal with more than our fair share. Finding a way to navigate through their behaviour, the risk of things turning nasty and the minute scrutiny of our reactions can be exhausting. So what do you do? If you’ve ever been told you’re being too sensitive or simply left stunned and biting your tongue while everyone else laughs... Angelina’s honest stories, the hilarious and the hurtful, will be a big dose of refreshment. Enjoy!

As we return with part 2 of 'Hey Aunty! Why are we like this?' we talk with the incredible Leah Avene. A Tuvaluan mother, musician, broadcaster and educator who’s works focuses on decolonising our spirits, spaces and systems. Leah is the co presenter of ALL OUR STORIES on PBSfm. She performs music as Philemon. Story telling and narrative healing are central to Leah’s writing, public speaking and therapy work, as powerful ways to reclaiming identity, heal trauma and resisting the dominant culture. We share a beautifully honest convo on the growing pains and pitfalls of seeking belonging. Sometimes being hurt, sometimes being mean and learning to expand into our lushness. Such a rich and rewarding chat. Check it out, you’ll love it. Photo by Ivanna Oksenyuk