Herpes Opportunity

This interview is meant to spur your curiosity and offer a different perspective on the herpes conversation. This audio is free for your personal use only and does not constitute medical treatment, medical care or medical advice. It is for entertainment, education and opinion purposes only. Want to contribute your personal story to this conversation? Please email [email protected].

People with herpes have a tendency to want to save others from getting herpes. Which is admirable. But sometimes it's taken too far. As heartfelt as this seems on the surface, it’s counterproductive in that by isolating herpes from others, you’re isolating you.

Such a simple phrase, but can you feel how much power it has? “I have herpes.” When you say these three words, what effect do they have on you? There’s a way to move past these feelings. And that way is through.

A sizzling sexy relationship — even contending with herpes — is in your future. And it all starts with your relationship to what herpes means to your sex life. 1) Is herpes a sex killer or 2) does herpes give a new perspective on trust, caring and support in relationship? Can you feel that difference? That is the first part of seeing it as a relationship strengthener. Sound a bit backwards? You’re gonna love this.

An interview with one of the participants from the very first Herpes Opportunity weekend seminar in Raleigh, NC, October 26-28, 2012. Transcript: I: So yeah, just like a general sense of the weekend. What was it like for you? P: I wasn’t really sure going in what to expect, but I came out a different person for sure. It’s more about your self. It’s more about really . . . it’s like self-awareness. It’s really finding out what makes you tick, what’s bothering you. Kind of I guess, just looking at where you are now and where you want to be, and what your gaps are and why you’re not there. I took a lot away from it. And it wasn’t just about the “H”, but more about your self. Pain’s the way I thought about myself actually. And I think about other people, too. I think a lot of it was some of the exercises we went through. I guess opened my eyes. I was feeling kind of alone and disconnected, a lot of different things. I didn’t know whether I could do it, but I guess I just have a whole different prospective on where I was at, and why I was doing certain things to myself when there really was no reason to be that way. I was in a different kind of place, I guess. I just wasn’t thinking in the right frame of mind for a long time, I think. I knew it was a problem, but I never—I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t want to go there. I think a lot of it is, you’re vulnerable, the fear, there’s so many different things, you know, that can go into it. Once you can recognize what it is, you can really start to build some kind of foundation on how you want to change it. (02:38) I: Good. It sounds like the beginning of a new path for you was actually to start looking at maybe the stuff that you didn’t originally want to look at. P: Exactly. Yep. That’s what it is. Sometimes you just need a push, you know. You just need someone to say the right things, the right words, and of course you need to let it all out. I mean, I hadn’t had a meltdown like that probably for, well, I don’t know, for a long time. (03:07) I: How you’re explaining it, it almost sounds like it was purging something from you that had been trapped inside for a while. P: Yes. Yes, that’s another good word. Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, you do it with yourself, but when you have other people there that are just kind of listening, and helping you along, and giving their perspective. It makes a difference. I think it really opens your eyes up to a lot of different possibilities, different opportunities, things you didn’t look at before. I mean, a lot of it, I look at myself saying, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Or my mind was so closed on a certain path or a certain way that I wasn’t even looking at other avenues. And then to hear the other people, “Gosh, I said that problem, too, and this is how I handled it, or it wasn’t exactly similar, but . . .” I mean, that kind of put a little bit in perspective too that I was really thinking, “Of course, I’m alone and no one else is feeling this. What is wrong with me?” You know, that kind of thing. [Laughs] (04:12) I: You’re the only one. [Laughs] P: Yeah, your mind just plays so many different scenarios. And my problem was, I wasn’t letting anybody in, wasn’t telling anybody anything, but it was more than that for me, it wasn’t just about the “H”. And I realized that. It’s not really about that. It’s more about coming in tune with yourself, and really valuing what you have to bring, and then just like listening to other people, too. It was really—I’m really glad I went. I wasn’t going to, I didn’t want to, and you know the whole “H” thing, that’s just another part of my issue, but I’m really glad I did because it really opened up my eyes to a lot of different things, and how much I was shutting a lot of stuff down that I shouldn’t have been. It helped me really, you know say, “God, I have all these people out here, why am I not reaching out? What is wrong with me?” It really kind of put that back into perspective that I don’t have to go through all this alone. It just helped me say—you know I kept saying, ”Yeah, I accept it. I accept it.” But I really don’t think I did to be honest. (05:26) I: Umm hmm. It sounds like you felt really supported. P: Yeah, I did. Yeah, probably for the first time in a long time. I: Wow. How does that feel to say that? P: It feels good, really. I’ve been trying to take it all in the last couple days, and each day I get better, I get more confident. I’m more—I’m not thinking of the negative things, I’m thinking of “Okay, what can I do to push it through. There’s got to be some other avenue or another thing I can do.” Instead of just saying, “Okay, it’s not going to work. I’m done.” Then you shut yourself down, and you miss out on some many different opportunities or maybe different possibilities you didn’t think of before, you didn’t look at before. (06:12) I: Yeah. What else is different about you now? P: I don’t know. I guess I feel a little bit more of a relief. I don’t feel the weig...