Guidelines for Dating

In this episode, Upper School Head, Michael Moynihan discusses how we as a School partner with fathers to help them share God's plan for marriage and human love with their sons.

• Each child has the right to a personal conversation with their parents about human love. To deal with this topic solely in an institutional way does not do it justice.
• The topic of human love is best addressed in the context of the home, in such a way that both respects the child's innocence and respects the metaphysical and spiritual realities of love, not just the physical.
• Schools do have a role to play in this education through an integrated curriculum offering, inter alia, examples of friendship and love in literature, a correct human anthropology through philosophy, and a love for the theological underpinnings of the sacrament of marriage.
• Schools also have a role to play in supporting parents as they educate and form their sons. This is especially true given that many parents are trying to offer their guidance to their sons in a way that is different from what they themselves received.
• The Heights offers a series of nights for fathers. In the 4th grade, we discuss with the fathers how to begin sharing with their sons God's plan for marriage; in the 6th grade, we discuss with the fathers how to begin to address the threats to God's plan, especially pornography; in 9th grade, we discuss the proper approach to courtship.
• Fathers must share with their sons the fact that God's plan for marriage are under attack, especially when it comes to pornography. Sons must be given the tools to confront this great evil when they are first exposed to it. Otherwise, interest may result from initial paralysis.
• These conversations are most effective when there is a good foundation in place, including (a) a developed appropriate friendship between father and son, (b) a home where modesty is observed, (c) a culture in the home that celebrates mom and dad's stories and marriage.
• An area to be aware of is the vice of curiosity, which is, properly understood, a dull boredom and disinterest in reality, the natural tendency of which is towards passive entertainment-seeking. This leads directly to dependance on pornography.