HealingLives with Corey Gilbert

Episode 301 - A Conversation with Allen C. Paul on God & Gigs, Being a Creative, a Dad, Homeschooling, and Calling

Episode 301 YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/E6-pX_g-MUI

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Episode 152 - Hope for the tired and weary - Redemption is our Focus

Youtube link https://youtu.be/xhgr6QX2doo

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Episode 144 - Five Conflict Styles - A KEY to Success in Marriage

YouTube Link: https://youtu.be/OjCmmFVkPMA

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Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.

Boundaries And Choices

A critical dimension of our sexuality and sexual development are boundaries and choices. If those aren’t well established, we are at the mercy of our feelings, desires, and peer pressure. To live within boundaries requires us to step back, recognize the difference that results from living within these, and thankful for their protection. Ironically, it is these boundaries that give us freedom.

When I graduated from seminary and began my life as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I was a single twenty-five-year-old male in a female dominated field. Ninety-nine percent of my clients were women and most of my friends were female. I was terrified. I had an ETHOS drilled into me from my family and my training regarding the importance of boundaries. I also knew of a few cases where one accusation of wrongdoing had sunk a person’s reputation and career. I set up incredibly strict boundaries. These were for my freedom. Within these boundaries, I had less to worry about. Later, I was working at a college and was told I needed to loosen my boundaries if I was going to work with college students. I was surprised. I was also quite confused by the suggestion and wondered if I should loosen up. I quickly realized though that I had more freedom by using these boundaries and I added more — like never eating alone with a woman who was not my wife.

Boundaries are entrenched into your ETHOS at an early age as we learn from our families and absorb their energy and culture. As we begin to play that out in our lives, we free ourselves, adopting some of the constraints put on us by our families and dispensing with others. We — and our children — have the freedom to choose. Our culture speaks out of both sides of its mouth. On one hand we are told to be free and choose for ourselves whatever we want. But, on the other hand, if someone chooses to act with reservation, wisdom or within a biblical sexual ethic, they are ridiculed as if they made the “wrong” choice. Find freedom in boundaries, your choices, and in saying, “NO.”

How To Say “No”

Learning to say, “NO,” is a crucial skill. We are always saying, “NO.” In effect, every time we say, “Yes,” to something — we are, in turn, saying, “NO,” to something else.

Teach your children to say, “NO.”

Teach them to have the vocal and internal ability to stand up for themselves and have boundaries. Most of us are familiar with the concept of fight or flight. If we get into a sticky situation, we have a release of adrenaline and we are, in a sense, forced to expend that energy by fighting, or fleeing. However, there is another response — freezing — that has serious consequences since the energy built up by adrenaline and angst rarely gets resolved.

When men and women that have been abused or violated tell their story, they usually regret not having spoken up, fought, or run away. Instead, they froze. However, despite — or maybe because of — freezing, they survived. They made it through. Now many remain stuck because the energy that was built up needs a place to go. It needs to be released. From this experience, they quickly learned to remain small and silent. Their ability to say, “NO,” diminishes.

Example

Lisaand Bretthave invested in their children with a vision for their children’s future success. They started young, teaching and training their children in a biblical sexual ethic. As they went into each year of life with their children they also knew that part of the bargain was trusting God in the raising of their children. Hope in things unseen. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Your faith must be in God and His work in the lives of you and your children.

Hope breeds a peace that passes all understanding. Hope expects great things as well.

Hope for the best things for each of your children.

I want you to be able to place the most important thing at the top of your goals in the raising of your children.

What is this most important goal?

Dr. George Barnaspeaks of this goal in his bookRevolutionary Parenting.[1]

What is your primary goal? With the primary goal Dr. Barna’s research found all the other priorities we may have for our children will work themselves out.

Hope for great things! Expect much!

Be intentional at preparing them well. May your children become adults that are “Champions for Christ.” — this ought to be our top goal.

[1] Barna, George. Revolutionary Parenting.U.S.A.: BarnaBooks, 2007.

Managing Hurts, Failures And Disappointments

As parents, we can do everything we are supposed to do and bad things can still happen.

Paulis a twenty-two-year-old that was taught a biblical sexual ethic, but chose to take his own pa...

Episode 311 - Part 2 of 15 "Lost in Trans Nation" - Ch 1 - John Money’s Dangerous Idea - So Important for Parents and Professionals

Order Dr. Miriam Grossman's Book on Amazon Here: https://amzn.to/3KYhTwi

Throughout our country, atrocities are taking place in doctor’s offices and hospital operating rooms. Physically healthy children and adolescents are being permanently disfigured and sometimes sterilized. Those youth say they’re transgender, and we—their parents, teachers, therapists, and doctors—are supposed to agree with their self-diagnosis and take a back seat as they make the most consequential decision of their lives: to alter their bodies in order to, we are told, “align” them with their minds.
Medical, educational, and government authorities advise us to support the “gender journeys” of still developing kids, including medical interventions with poor evidence of long-term improvement.
This would not be acceptable in any other field of medicine. Indeed, the treatments our medical authorities and Washington call “crucial” and “life-saving” have been banned in progressive Sweden, Finland, and Britain.
Dr. Miriam Grossman is a child and adolescent psychiatrist whose practice consists of trans-identified youth and their families. In Lost in Trans Nation, she implores parents to reject the advice of gender experts and politicians and trust their guts—their parental instincts—in the face of an onslaught of ideologically driven misinformation that steers them and their children toward risky decisions they may end up mourning for the rest of their lives.
The beliefs that male and female are human inventions; that the sex of a newborn is arbitrarily “assigned”; and that as a result the child requires “affirmation” through medical interventions—these ideas are divorced from reality and therefore hazardous, especially to children. The core belief—that biology can and should be denied—is a repudiation of reality and a mockery of what hard science teaches about being male and female.
Dr. Grossman believes that parents know their child best; they especially know if they have a son or daughter. But currently in our country when it comes to gender identity, everyone knows better than mom and dad. Schools enable students to live double lives—Patrick at home, Patti at school. Activists tell kids their loving homes are “unsafe” when parents voice doubts about the child’s new identity. For refusing to see their son as their daughter, parents might be reported to protective services, a development that can lead to a family’s destruction.
Lost in Trans Nation arms parents with the ammunition to avoid, or, if necessary, fight what many families describe as the most difficult challenge of their lives. Parents will learn what to say and how—at home, at school, and if necessary, to police when they appear at the door.
“Don’t be blindsided like so many parents I know,” warns Grossman, “be proactive and get educated. Feel prepared and confident to discuss trans, nonbinary, or whatever your child brings to the dinner table.” Whether it’s the “trans is as common as red hair” claim, or the “I’m not your son, I’m your daughter” proclamation, or the “do you prefer a live son or a dead daughter’ threat, says Grossman, no family is immune, and every parent must be prepared.
No child is born in the wrong body, Dr. Grossman reassures us, their bodies are just fine; it’s their emotional lives that need healing. Whether you’re facing a gender identity battle in your home right now, or want to prevent one, you need this book to guide you and your loved ones out of the madness.