"How Good's an Opening Ceremony?"

Explicit content warning

07/24/21 • 41 min

After a typically precise and covid-devalued Opening Ceremony, Day 1 is underway at Tokyo.

Join the boys as they run the rule over the fanfare of the first night at the Tokyo National Stadium and face the burning questions that arose.

How good was the lights and graphics and shit? Will the weight of a state-of-the-art graphite flagpole cost Cate Campbell? And if the Olympics are supposed to help us forget about COVID, then why was the whole thing packed with references to this feral virus?

Once that’s sorted, we’ll look forward to the Aussies in action on day one. There’s a six-time table tennis legend, blue collar hockey players, and a good strong bloke on the surfboard. Who should we keep an eye on? Who’s going to bomb out? And who deserves the weight of a nation’s unattainable expectations?

Featuring the unbridled Olympic Spirit of social commentator and comedian, Luke Heggie.

Audio production courtesy of Tim ‘T-Dog’ Eldridge. Graphic design courtesy of Julia Edwards.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a typically precise and covid-devalued Opening Ceremony, Day 1 is underway at Tokyo.

Join the boys as they run the rule over the fanfare of the first night at the Tokyo National Stadium and face the burning questions that arose.

Featuring the unbridled Olympic Spirit of social commentator and comedian, Luke Heggie.

Audio production courtesy of Tim ‘T-Dog’ Eldridge. Graphic design courtesy of Julia Edwards.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Previous Episode

"The Safest Olympic Games Ever"

Welcome to Have a Go's special daily coverage of the Tokyo 2020 Games.

Many thought it wouldn't happen, but through sheer determination (and water-tight contracts) the IOC have fought off a global pandemic to muscle this thing in to existence.

Sport is a microcosm of society - it gives us hope and dares us to dream... or some shit - but do the Japanese even want this? Meanwhile, the athletes are under strict orders not to engage in any coital activities in the Village. What's the point of winning Gold if you can't wear your medal out on the circuit to attract women?

There's already been controversies - our equestrians are on the nose beers, our tennis players are getting COVID, our basketballers getting into altercations - while our softball team invoked the Mercy Rule in their hiding at the hands of a rampant Japan. Meanwhile, the Matilda's took a noble stand against racism... only to be outdone by New Zealand yet again.

Finally, AOC boss John Coates is feeling bloody hot right now after landing Brisbane 2032. How good's absolute, unchallenged power?

Audio production courtesy of Tim ‘T-Dog’ Eldridge. Graphic design courtesy of Julia Edwards.

Praise/critique/submit questions/cyber-attack us here:

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Next Episode

The Weird New Sports at Tokyo 2020

Much like a 40-year-old man trying to impress the friends of his new 22-year-old girlfriend, the IOC is rolling out a bunch of ‘rad’ new sports at Tokyo 2020.

But why does everything have to be new? Broadcast dollars, mainly. But it's not the IOC's most desperate cash grab: that was Paris 1900, which included highly marketable sports such as live pigeon shooting and poodle clipping.

Karate's in at Tokyo, and that makes sense, but what the actual fuck is 'Sport Climbing'? We're assume it's like the Wall on 'Gladiators', with matches refereed by Mike Whitney and John Alexander (with Mike Hammond as lead commentator.)

Meanwhile, our skateboarding team is made up of a handful of teenagers plus a 31-year-old bloke who was selected to do the bottle shop runs. Plus Joel Caine has been tapped to do the live odds reads at the Keirin event.

Introducing our special 'Spotlight on Tokyo' mini-series (14:25). Audio production from Tim ‘T-Dog’ Eldridge. Graphic design courtesy of Julia Edwards.

Praise/critique/submit questions/cyber-attack us here: