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In the fog-shrouded valley where two superpowers meet, a deeply human story unfolds against the backdrop of Cold War tensions and ancient mysteries. The Gorge brilliantly pairs Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy as elite snipers stationed on opposite sides of a mysterious chasm, creating one of the most unique and compelling on-screen relationships of recent cinema.
What begins as strict isolation—American and Soviet guards forbidden from contact—evolves through ingenious long-distance communication. Giant notepads, makeshift signals, and music played across the divide become the foundation of a connection that defies their orders and national identities. The chemistry between the leads is palpable even when separated by hundreds of feet of empty space, making their eventual face-to-face meeting (via a dangerous homemade zip line) all the more powerful.
The film's first half excels at building both the mystery of what lurks in the foggy depths below and the tender romance developing above. Small gestures carry enormous weight—a toast across the gorge, a game of chess played at impossible distance, poetry shared in fragments. These moments of genuine human connection stand in stark contrast to the occasional monster attacks that remind us of the ever-present danger.
Where The Gorge stumbles is in its third act, when our protagonists find themselves trapped in the depths they've been guarding. The revelation of what caused the gorge and its inhabitants—a joint Soviet-American research facility gone catastrophically wrong—feels rushed and underwhelming compared to the cosmic horror teased earlier. The "hollow men" monsters, while effectively creepy in glimpses, lose impact when fully revealed.
Despite these shortcomings, the film remains compelling thanks to its central relationship and the performances that bring it to life. Teller brings depth to his tortured sniper, haunted by his past kills, while Taylor-Joy imbues her character with both steely resolve and vulnerability. Their journey from isolated guards to partners willing to risk everything resonates emotionally even when the plot mechanics falter.
The Gorge ultimately asks what connections matter most—duty to country, scientific discovery, or the rare human bond that transcends boundaries. For anyone who appreciates character-driven stories with elements of horror, romance, and Cold War tension, this haunting tale of what lurks both within the mist and within ourselves offers a uniquely satisfying experience.

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Could the X-Men have stood a chance against the cinematic juggernaut that is "Avengers: Endgame"? We're closing out our series on the X-Men reboot with a fiery critique of "X-Men: Dark Phoenix," diving into its untimely release and how it may have contributed to its box office downfall. As we bid farewell to the franchise, we spare no detail in examining narrative mishaps, including Jean Grey's overshadowed journey and the stray shots from the source material that left fans puzzled. We even take a moment, between the serious analysis, to chuckle at some of the movie's more perplexing decisions and how certain scenes left us scratching our heads.
When you have characters as rich as Mystique, Cyclops, and Storm, it's a wonder how their depictions in "Dark Phoenix" veered so far from their comic roots. Tensions rise as we dissect the altered leadership dynamics and discuss Jennifer Lawrence's Mystique taking the reins in a way that left many core fans feeling disoriented. We also pull apart the thread of Professor X's repeated manipulations, questioning their impact on the film's faithfulness to the original narrative. Between poignant critiques, we can't help but let out a laugh over some of the film's bizarre moments that seem to defy both logic and gravity.
As we look ahead with anticipation for more authentic representations in superhero cinema, teased by "Deadpool 3," we reflect on the missed opportunities for character arcs throughout the X-Men series, especially for Jean Grey. And just when you think we're done, we gear up for our next cinematic adventure: the Shane Blackathon, where we'll chew over the savory bits of his directorial feats and gristle through the not-so-great, inviting our audience to join in on the discussion. Get ready for a whirlwind of humor, critique, and a deep appreciation for superhero flicks and the craft of storytelling.

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Embark on a cinematic journey with Dan and Tony as we unravel the spectral tale of "The Turning," where confusion reigns supreme and ghostly encounters challenge the protagonist's grip on reality. As we dissect this adaptation entangled in the same web as Mike Flanagan's "The Haunting of Bly Manor," we're left scratching our heads at the plot twists and character dynamics that seem to play a game of flashlight tag with our understanding. From questionable '90s music choices to the deeper meanings behind tattoos and empty gumball machines, join us for a dissection of a film that teeters on the edge of the supernatural and the sanity of its characters.
Lean in and listen closely as we hold nothing back, critiquing the film's attempt to blur lines that perhaps shouldn't have been drawn in the first place. Our analysis is rife with the enigmatic aroma of old polaroids, the whisperings of ghostly children, and a lake with secrets as murky as its waters. As we ponder the unsettling advances of one character and the mysterious pasts of others, the haunted house backdrop serves as the perfect canvas for our spirited dialogue. And who could forget the classic "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" references as we navigate the cobwebbed corridors of haunted houses and debate the virtues of a savior in this eerie maelstrom?
Wrapping up with a bout of laughter and some sage advice from a UCB comedian on the art of universal humor, we tackle the significance behind every misplaced spider and disembodied hand. The episode closes on the chilling notes of a ghostly reenactment and a protagonist teetering on the brink of madness. So, if you're eager for a ride through the twists and turns of a thriller that aims to leave you second-guessing what's real, make sure to tune in to this episode of Hate Watching with Dan and Tony.

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Step into the shadowy world of "Pathfinder," Marcus Nispel's forgotten 2007 action film that stands as a fascinating study in missed opportunities. Released in the same week as Zack Snyder's "300" with a comparable budget, this Karl Urban-starring vehicle attempted similar visual flair but stumbled where "300" soared.
The premise holds genuine intrigue: a Viking child, abandoned and raised by Native Americans in 800 AD North America, must later defend his adoptive people when his bloodthirsty biological culture returns to pillage and destroy. It's a setup ripe with potential for exploring identity, belonging, and choosing one's own path—yet "Pathfinder" reduces these rich themes to a straightforward revenge tale drowning in murky cinematography.
Throughout our discussion, we unpack the film's fundamental flaws: characters without names or development, confusing action sequences where you can barely distinguish one Viking from another, and logical inconsistencies that break immersion. The Viking villains pursue destruction for destruction's sake, forgoing more historically accurate and compelling motivations like resource acquisition or taking slaves. Even the special edition's reportedly excised sex scene becomes a curious footnote in a film already struggling with basic storytelling coherence.
What makes "Pathfinder" particularly fascinating is comparing it to Nispel's later work on "Conan the Barbarian," revealing a director who seemed to learn some lessons while repeating others. For fans of Karl Urban, we recommend skipping this misfire and heading straight to "Dredd" for a masterclass in how to use the actor's talents effectively. Whether you're a student of film looking to understand what makes a movie work (by examining one that doesn't) or simply curious about this forgotten chapter in action cinema history, our deep dive into "Pathfinder" offers both entertainment and insight into how even promising concepts can lose their way in execution.

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Dan is out sick so we go back into the vaults to release one of our favorite episodes! Enjoy!

Professional wrestling blurs the lines between reality and entertainment, but 1989's "No Holds Barred" obliterates them completely. We journey into the bizarre world of Hulk Hogan's first starring film role and discover a movie that doesn't just feature wrestling—it creates an entire universe where wrestling is the world.
The premise seems straightforward: Hulk plays Rip, a wrestling superstar pursued by unscrupulous network executive Brill (Kurt Fuller) who creates his own violent wrestling program featuring the monstrous Zeus (Tiny Lister) after Rip rejects his blank check offer. But what unfolds is a baffling cinematic experience where normal societal rules don't apply, character motivations make no sense, and the primary trait identifying villains is their mistreatment of women.
We analyze the strange production choices throughout—from awkward ADR and slow fight choreography to confusing scene transitions and inexplicable character decisions. Yet amidst the chaos, certain moments achieve an accidental brilliance, like the infamous bathroom scene featuring a chained dog that provides one of the film's few genuine laughs. The movie culminates with Hulk essentially murdering two people on live television to audience applause, cementing our view that Rip might actually be the villain of his own story.
What makes "No Holds Barred" particularly fascinating is its behind-the-scenes story. Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan themselves reportedly rewrote the entire script over a brief period, explaining why Brill seems modeled after McMahon's own public persona. The result is a film that serves as both a bizarre cultural artifact and a cautionary tale about wrestling's difficult transition to conventional narrative filmmaking.
Whether you're a wrestling fan curious about this strange chapter in Hulkamania history or a bad movie enthusiast looking for your next bewildering watch, join us as we bodyslam this cinematic oddity and somehow find genuine entertainment in its spectacular failure.

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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech
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