Gramercy

I'm so thankful you're joining me for another season of listening to and learning from those who have been pushed to the fringes of society. This entire season was borne out of a book I read about one man's story. The book is titled, "The Sparrow In The Razor Wire" by Quan Huynh. As soon as I finished reading it, I knew I had to meet this incredible man. I also knew I wanted to learn more about what it was like on the inside and listen to the stories of all the men and women who have endured this behemoth called our "justice system."

I had never before considered the formerly incarcerated as a marginalized group. But the more I read Quan's book, I began to see it clearly. This is a group of people I need to meet and learn from. I wanted to know what traumas people endured inside and outside the system. I wanted to learn what influenced people to think the way they did. I wanted to understand what makes people resilient, what causes transformation, and how they find hope again.

Because of Quan's story, I learned about an organization called Defy Ventures and became enamored with their mission and purpose. On the homepage of their website it states: Defy’s entrepreneurial programs enable one of America’s largest forgotten communities to defy the odds. We equip them with new skills, new connections, and a new belief to match their new purpose, and succeed in their new life of economic independence." They actually believe and live out what Bryan Stevenson states so eloquently in his book, Just Mercy: "Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done."

Please keep that in mind as you listen to these incredible, heart-breaking, encouraging stories of people who have been to the bottom and yet have risen again as transformed humans ready to offer society their best. Again, Mr. Stevenson speaks so poignantly to this topic (so be prepared for a lot of quotes by him) when he says, " We are all broken by something. We have all hurt someone and have been hurt. We all share the condition of brokenness even if our brokenness is not equivalent."

This season has touched the depths of my heart. Each person I met shaped me in new ways. This season you will hear from Defy Ventures employees, some of whom have also experienced incarceration. You will also hear stories of those who were factually innocent, yet still served time in prison. And you will hear the stories of those who knowingly committed crimes, did their time, and are now free from the shackles of their punishment and trying to rebuild their lives. Defy Ventures believes in the formerly incarcerated and helps provide the tools and hope for them to thrive outside the prison walls.

Life After Prison taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. It answered questions I didn't know I needed to ask. I hope it's effect on you is just as profound. After all, we're all stuck in prisons of our own making, aren't we? Reaching out and helping each other and having someone believe in our value is often the difference between staying stuck within our confines or setting us free to love, serve, and encourage others.

These episodes will be longer this season. Listening to people share their deepest vulnerabilities requires time and earning their trust. Afterall, these are more conversations than interviews and they take on that tone. True friends don't want to rush each other through a story in order to get to their own agenda. To genuinely see and hear others you must dedicate your time to listening. My ultimate goal during this season was that each person know that they are valued, seen, and heard by me, so I didn't rush through the stories. I let them work through the memories, traumas, and events that led up to the incident that led to incarceration. But I was equally curious as to how they processed their time in prison and when and how transformation occured. Some guests were completely forthcoming in sharing the details of their crimes, others were more vague about events and timeframes. The emphasis of this podcast was not the crime, but how the person transformed and what life looked like after being released from prison. And their stories wouldn't be complete without learning how they put into practice all they learned and how they were able to restore their hope, their relationships, and their livelihood.

To be sure, not everyone who enters prison leaves so transformed. These are the few that chose to do the hard internal work of dealing with their own demons and took complete responsibility for their choices and actions. Although you will hear many opinions about the state of our prison system and all its faults and inadequacies, this is not a podcast about prison reform. That's a political conversation for another day. Defy Ventures goes beyond the political constraints. They are not waiting for prison reform, they are showing up now and teaching strategies now and giving tools to those who a...

After hearing Laura's story, the words that come to mind are: determined, brave, compassionate, strong, forgiving, teachable, and resilient. She was dealt a terrible hand in life. She confesses to her mistakes without playing the victim. She wakes up every day and chooses to better herself and help others. Her life is a testament to this. It seems that many prison programs are what help bring about healing in so many broken souls who've found themselves incarcerated. They are finally in a place to learn things they were never taught, grow in understanding, education, and empathy, as well as heal themselves through the help of therapists, dogs, and volunteers who assert their worthiness to be loved even when they themselves can't yet see it.

Dr. Van Der Kolk, the author of the famed book, "The Body Keeps the Score" says, "We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way the mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think.” This is of paramount importance for all of us to learn. The trauma Laura experienced in childhood shaped the rest of her life. Thankfully, she came to learn this and dealt with her trauma head on. May we all learn to do the hard thing, just as Laura has.

Laura's quote: "Do unto others as you'd like done unto you."

Defy Ventures

When we sat down to talk, he had this awesome lion as his zoom background. He named him Wayne. After visiting with Chris, I learned that it couldn't have been a more perfect representation of who he is. It represents the strength of character and resilience he now possesses. Join me as Chris reveals with profound vulnerability the story of his life.

Chris' insight into the human condition astounds me. He's so perceptive, intelligent, and humble. I LOVE how he said, "People have opened up to me about a lot of stuff, because I make myself safe for them." Right there. That's the key. There's no judgement.

Chris brings such wisdom to our conversation. He's an avid reader and life long learner. And it shows in how he's educated himself. I was deeply convicted by his observation of Schopenhauer's supposition that pride is having the conviction that you are something w/o it needing to be confirmed by anybody outside of you while vanity is trying to get to that conviction about yourself through other people. I just love how Chris spouts off such profound thoughts like it's nothing. We both share the same yearning for deep waters. I felt like we were geeking out together on all the great books we read and our shared love of learning.

There were two particular phrases Chris said (amongst the multitude he dropped on us), that really caused me pause and made me want to spend time meditating about, and they were: "The biggest courage is the acceptance of self and risking the rejection of others." And, "If the dissonance hits hard enough, you'll push past the shame into reconstruction." What impresses me is not only his recollection of quotes from what he reads, but how he created new quotes of his own from lived experience and observation. Man! Chris is a quote machine and an excellent teacher.

Chris, you have the courage of a lion now, my friend. St. Augustine says, "The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself." May we all have the courage to speak the truth with as much clarity and humility as Chris has.

Chris' Quote:

A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything. - Anonymous

and

If everybody likes you, it's because you haven't stood for anything - Winston Churchill

Social Media:
Instagram: @xhrisjohnson7

Success Stories - the organization Chris now works for

Defy Ventures
Instagram: @defy_ventures

Right out of the gates JaQuintin exposes his heart in how he expresses his desire for unity. When he's explaining injustices against Black or Indigenous people, it's for the sole purpose of educating, overcoming, and healing in order to create a better future for our children. Doing the hard work now will yield positive results for future generations.

JaQuinitn's insight into how there are people from every race thriving and oppressed really challenged me to stop and think and see this through his lens. It was a powerful declaration that he has given much consideration to. According to JaQuintin, the difference between the oppressed and the thriving is always self interest and the willingness to exploit others. His controversial opinion is that America is not driven by white supremacy, but by greed. Take some time and sit with that. Suspend judgement and look at it from all angles. This is why it's important to hear different viewpoints...not to get immediately offended by them, but to add them to what you know or are learning and consider this new aspect and how it fits in with what you already know.

I can't believe that this was the first time I asked the question: "Why do you think it's so hard for people to talk about racism?" I'm inspired by JaQuintin's honest insight regarding the depths of pain, trauma, guilt, and fear that are embedded so deep into our collective American psyche. There are no easy answers or easy ways to walk through this. Reconciliation is usually a painful process, but it's a necessary pain that will eventually yield healing. His explanation of the invisible wall of racism acting as a barrier to unity is a fantastic analogy that describes the reality of racism in this country. This is a dialogue that is beneficial to us all because we all have a stake in this.

Which of us has ever achieved anything hard alone? We normally go through the difficulties (or mountains) of life with the help, encouragement, or shoulder to lean on of someone close to us. Thus, I completely resonated when JaQuintin acknowledged that very fact so eloquently when he said, "We all have a mountain to climb and the only way we can get there is if we lend a hand to each other." That is such a beautiful, true sentiment. It is in acknowledging that none of us are where we want to be but that we're going in the right direction whenever we're helping others.

I had a major "aha" moment when JaQuintin said, "Racism uses fear and guilt." It's an obvious truth I haven't been able to concretely and concisely express before. But there is now, out in the open, as plain as day. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. Watch and listen, you will see these tactics everywhere. This is a simple way to become more aware as well as a simple conversation to have with others. Question the fear, question where their guilt comes from, question the origin of where people are finding their "facts." Oftentimes, we prefer to stay where we're comfortable instead of rock the boat and question our ill informed family and friends about where they got their information from. This is one way to be an ally.

I genuinely admire JaQuintin's heart for unity and his understanding that it is humility that will get us there. He is a walking reminder of Mother Teresa's quote: Only humility will lead us to unity, and unity will lead to peace. May we all have the humility to see that we've not arrived yet and the teachableness to press onward in our quest for unity, as JaQuintin has.

Quote:

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. - Nelson Mandela

JaQuintin's book: Willie

JaQuintin's Website

JaQuintin on Instagram

Willie Lynch Letter

Today I am in conversation with Mr. Bobby Washington. He is a pastor at the multicultural East Denver Church of God. He is also a successful businessman owning and operating two nationwide businesses. Bobby has a Chinese mother and African American father and lived abroad during his childhood. His life experiences give him a unique point of view about racism in the U.S . I was captivated by his story, his gentle manner in conveying the truth, his honest perspective about racism, and the kindness that radiates from him.

There were several takeaways from my visit with Bobby. I especially appreciated his insight into the word "we", how it's used for a lot of things, but not in relation to racism. It's like we don't want to own our part in it, look at ourselves, and deal with it. I love how he said, "Why can't we walk together with that too?" We are willing to carry the honor of our past collective victories as a country, but not our past collective failures or injustices. That's a heavy truth that needs more unpacking and honest reflection.

Bobby's bubble analogy made me smile since I recently heard the exact same metaphor from my friend Rama in Season 1. Opening our bubbles, or spheres of influence, to others is another way of encouraging inclusivity. Being more loving has never made anyone feel left out. But putting labels on people gives us many reasons to exclude.

Lastly, I was impressed with Bobby's confession about how he carried a chip on his shoulder for years. And really, who could blame him? But he was humble and teachable enough to see that carrying that chip was not moving him forward...only love and forgiveness can do that. May we all carefully reflect on our own lives and be willing to admit the anger, resentment, or hurt we're holding onto so we don't negatively project it onto others, just as Bobby did all those years ago. By letting go of that chip, he wasn't saying that all the injustices he experienced were okay, they were still painfully raw. But he didn't focus on them anymore. He changed his focus and in doing so changed the trajectory of his life to helping others affect positive change in this world.

Bobby's life reminds of MLK's quote: "There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies." Thank you for choosing to live a life of love when it would be easy to succumb to hate. May we all choose love, as Bobby has.

Bobby's Quote: "A gentle word turns away wrath." The Bible, Proverbs 15:1

East Denver Church of God