Good Things in Life podcast

This week on the podcast, Sarah Buffie helps me better understand difficult behaviour.

Our conversation covers trauma, what happens in our bodies when we are triggered by someone else’s behaviour and what we can do about it.

It is a fascinating conversation and one I hope to continue as I deepen my ability to be with people who are struggling and expressing themselves through behaviour that I find difficult to cope with.

My new friend, Yeiter, wrote a book call Lessons In Listening and it challenges the popular behaviour modification approaches to supporting people with behaviours that are labelled as difficult.

In addition to his listening skills, ability to empathize and connect with others who are often villainized and ostracized, Yeiter is a lovely storyteller.

In this episode of the podcast, Yeiter tells the story of Michelle. Yeiter’s first job was to put Michelle in an isolation room - until he figured out that connecting with her worked better than forcing her into seclusion.

Yeiter goes on to tell other stories of connection and support that are troubling, heartwarming and deep lessons for all of us on the power of listening deeply.

You can read the full show notes here and download a free copy of Yeiter's book, Lessons In Listening, here courtesy of Yeiter and Inclusion Press.

Christine Robinson, wife of late author William (Bill) Rush, joins me to talk about Bill’s book, Journey Out Of Silence.

Journey Out Of Silence is an autobiography chronicling Bill’s early life in therapy based segregated programming to his graduation from the University of Nebraska.

Bill, an articulate journalist with cerebral palsy who used a speech generating device, talks about his parents’ efforts and failures, his experience of segregated education, his pursuit of normal intimate relationships and the liberation he experienced when people treated the environment around him as the problem instead of his disability as the problem.

Christine helps bring Bill’s voice to life in this interview.

You won’t want to miss it.

Have you ever had a moment when you just weren’t sure what to say or do in relation to someone who has a disability? Perhaps you were nervous that you would say or do the wrong thing and offend someone?

There are lots of good people out there - you are probably one of them - who want to address ableism in themselves but are frankly too nervous to put themselves out there are risk messing up.

This week on the podcast I interviewed Emily Ladau. Emily is the author of Demystifying Disability.

Emily says, “the goal of demystifying disability was not to be the definitive encyclopedia or Bible on disability. It wasn't to speak for every single disabled person. It wasn't to say that I am the authority and the expert on disability because I'm none of those things, right?

I'm only one person, but it was just my way of offering an overture, offering a way to bridge the gap for so many people who maybe don't know how to talk about disability, the language to use, maybe don't know about some of the history. Maybe they're not sure about media representation or etiquette. And I wanted to say, Hey, here's a safe place to start.”

Emily’s book might just be what you are looking for. If you don’t need a primer on disability, I’m sure you know someone who does.

Not sure? Listen to the episode here.

Mary Vicario adapts current neuroscience into practical interventions for people who have experienced trauma, including people with developmental disabilities.

Mary illustrates how our brains – and bodies – experience trauma and how real inclusion for people with disabilities can build resilience and begin to heal trauma.

When we see people with disabilities excluded, it actually makes us feel unsafe too. Inclusion means connection with safe people, and it means that everyone feels safe together. And when we feel safe, we can learn.

Here’s a great quote from Mary:

“I never like to talk about trauma without talking about the resilience that the person used to survive the trauma, because hidden in that resilience, in those survival skills - which may not work in the current environment, but kept them alive somewhere else - is resilience. And if we can harness the resilience, we can help them take that resilience and create the life they want.”

Our relationships are key to healing from trauma and fostering resilience. This school year presents all kinds of challenges to social connections and relationships for our kids. But all is not lost. When we understand how we can create opportunities for relationships, support friendships, embed social opportunities into our kids' IEPs and have a few ideas to get us started, we can create and maintain a social connection even during COVID. For a free series on relationship building, go to goodthingsinlife.org/stayconnected.

Access the transcript and full show notes here.

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