Getting Emotional

You fancy someone. You think about them for a bit. Then you think about them even more, and more, and...suddenly, they've taken over your life, they live in your head rent-free. That's limerence. It's a state of extreme romantic infatuation, and can veer wildly between euphoria (when the daydreams are fun, or you're in the early stages of this feeling) to dismay (when you've still not caught the other person's eye and all seems lost.)

In this episode I find out more about it- is it a state of mind, an emotion, a branch of love, or something deeper and darker? To help me in my research I talk to Dr L, a blogger and neuroscientist, all about this phenomenon. He gives his diagnosis on what the feeling truly is, and also suggests some ways you can break the limerence spell if it's a feeling that's taking over your life too.

To check out Dr L's blog, head here- https://livingwithlimerence.com/

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You're lying in bed, awake. It's 5.45am. Your mind wanders. Should you get up now? Is your packed lunch ready? Will you go to the gym? Have you paid your rent? All of these things play into the feeling of 'uhtcaere'- lying in bed, worrying about the day ahead before it's even started.

The emotion comes from an Anglo-Saxon poem, The Wife's Lament, where a woman is bereft without her beloved. Although the poem is fantastically vague, we know it's about a woman looking for her partner. And most of that worry, it seems, is 'uhtcaere'- in the pre-dawn moments. So for this emotion I got incredibly geeky about Anglo-Saxon history (honestly, I had to hold myself back) and discovered more about literature from this era. I even read a very saucy riddle about an onion, but the less said about that the better.

Then, I spoke to Times Radio's Breakfast presenter Stig Abell- because who knows early mornings better than a breakfast radio presenter? He told me what time he gets up, how his show is planned, and what he does to keep the show on the road while avoiding uhtcaere for himself and his listeners. We eben invented a few new emotions along the way, including 'sockdread'. (You'll have to listen to find out more.)

So, when youre lying in bed worrying about the day ahead, I hope you're not worrying about which podcast to listen to. Because it's this one, obviously.

Oh, by the way, you can find me on twitter @getemotionalpod, and instagram @gettingemotionalpodcast.

And: Journey in the New World by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 licence. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://www.twinmusicom.org/song/258/journey-in-the-new-world

Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org

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You might know it from Love Island. You might know it from Ally McBeal. You might know it from feeling this way about a Tinder date last night. It's the ultimate in turn-offs, The Ick.

This feeling is a gut reaction. A sudden and sharp revulsion, a feeling that the person you're romantically attached with has suddenly become...well, icky. This normally occurs relatively early on in a relationship, and the causes can be anything- from the way that person crosses a road, to the way you imagine them filling their car with petrol. (Yes, both of these are real-life examples of why The Ick struck.)

The Ick seems silly and fun, but actually there's a little more to it than I- and maybe you- realise. Perhaps you're feeling it because of a fear of commitment, or fear of intimacy, or because your previous relationships have been so dysfunctional that this one, by virtue of being healthy, seems wrong. Perhaps this behaviour from your date is one that society has forced you to think of as embarrassing, and you don't truly believe that yourself. Or perhaps, y'know, they just breathe really loudly and it's INCREDIBLY ANNOYING.

Either way, I discuss it with Grazia writer Aaliyah Harry, as she is someone who has both felt the emotion, and written about it for the magazine. So she has lots of fun examples to tell, and some 'on the ground' thoughts about why, and how, it's occurred to her previously.

Oh, and if you want to get in touch, find me on twitter @getemotionalpod, or on my new instagram account, @gettingemotionalpodcast.

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IT IS THE END. Sorry to be dramatic, I had to get your attention. It's the end of season 2 and I'm just...y'know, emotional about it. It's been a ride, eh? Through this series we've met some incredible people, learnt about some amazing emotions, and we've all had a little cry. Oh, just me on that last one? Right.

Anyway, to celebrate the end, here's a few snippets of some great interviews that I didn't get to include- we have Nish Kumar and I geeking out about comedy, Dr Soph Mort telling us it's ok to be sad, and Femi Oluwole explaining why a lot more people voted Brexit than some of us expected. I've also thrown in a few new emotions too- feelings that don't necessarily fill up a whole podcast, but I think you'd like to hear about anyway!

Thanks so much for listening and getting in touch this series; it's so lovely to know there are people out there! If you want to say hi, come find me on twitter @getemotionalpod. And, as mentioned in the show, I got nominated for an award this week- hurray! It's for Moment of Raw Emotion at the International Women's Podcast Awards, and mostly I'm just thrilled to be called an International Woman.

And don't worry- there's a new series on the way very soon. The guests are bookin' in and the emotions are bubblin' up- so far we have words like Treppenwitz, The Ick, and Kaukokaipuu to look forward to. See you soon..!

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Picture this: you're wandering around a crumbling castle, fascinated by the ruins, totally lost in the history of it all. Not only are you amazed by its beauty, you're also heavily reminded of the past, present and future. These ruins of a once-grand building inspire a feeling of obsession, pleasure, and wonder. It's ruinenlust.

This is a German word, and describes the feeling of pleasure you take when exploring old ruins. But 'ruins' don't have to be a castle- it could be a column, a church, a...cold war bunker. Because that's what I'm talking about with comedian, podcaster, and history lover Angela Barnes. Angela's love of cold war bunkers- now pretty much all abandoned- has inspired a full Radio 4 series, as well as providing a location for her hen-do! So I decided to ask her why these building in particular are so interesting- is it the building, or the history surrounding them? She gives some fascinating answers, as well as ruminating on her own ruinenlust.

Angela is on the wonderful We Are History podcast, if you want to hear her discover more historical gems, and you can find her on twitter @AngelaBarnes. I'm there too, @GetEmotionalPod. Come say hi!

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