Learning Joy · Caregiving Well · Confrontation

06/27/22 • 41 min

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To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].
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In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, Nate, Richella, and James answer listener questions about training in joy, how to be a "friend in formation" to a spouse with dementia, and knowing when to confront someone's sin.

[1:13] I’ve been a (hopefully) honest apprentice of Jesus for over 50 years, but I've always struggled with a lack of joy in my life. I recently came to the thought that perhaps experiencing joy is something that needs training, much like learning how to live in the constant flow of grace. If this is true, what spiritual disciplines might be best to allow a person to enter into a greater experience of joy. Thank you again for your willingness to share your tremendous expertise in Kingdom living in this setting. I feel as though I'm getting to know the three of you in an interesting, very pleasant way. I look forward to actually meeting you in about 50 years.

[15:22] Three years ago, the love of my life came down with dementia. Her dementia has progressed to the point where she's unable to communicate verbally. And a little while ago, her safety and my own health, led me to place her in a home. I visit her on a regular basis and want her to know that she's not only loved by me and our family, but that our heavenly Father loves her as well. I know there is a communication of the heart. So I try to sing to her simple love songs, like “You are My Sunshine,” as well as hymns that she grew up with, as well as holding her hands while I pray for her. I want her to know the peace that will sustain her as we journey together through this horrible disease. Do you have any suggestions? How can I be a “friend in formation” to her?

[25:49] It sounds like you hold to a reticence in confronting, except when absolutely necessary. Can you flesh that out a bit, in light of Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15-17, and other passages that seem to instruct us that part of love is to kindly address others. How do we discern when it is necessary, good and loving to address someone else's sin?

Resources

Dallas Willard, Life without Lack
Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

Want to Suggest a Question?

To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].
---

Resources

Dallas Willard, Life without Lack
Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

Previous Episode

Saying No to Good Things · Faith of Origin · Bodies and Formation

Want to Suggest a Question?

To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].
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[1:26] In the stage of life me and my husband are in—we have three young children, jobs, and we are involved in our local church, there are lots of opportunities to do good things. When I sit down and look at our family calendar, I feel overwhelmed and unable to do all that I set out to do! How do I know what to say "no" to, and how do I say "no" without feeling guilty?

[16:20] When moving forward to understand some of the deep riches of other Christian traditions that have not been familiar to me I sometimes find myself looking back at my own stream of origin and being pretty grumpy. Does anyone else find this happens to them? Any tips on not falling, ironically, into judgementalism about our ‘family of origin’ in our faith?

[26:20] Does Christianity have a "body" problem? What is the body and what is its connection to our spirituality as it relates to formation?

Resources

Richard Foster, Streams of Living Water
Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart (chapter 9)
Richella Parham, Mythical Me

Next Episode

Streams · Fasting · Spiritual Conversations with Adult Children

Want to Suggest a Question?
To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, Nate, Richella, and James answer listener questions about which Christian Stream “gives the most bang for the buck,” how to discern when to fast (or practice any spiritual discipline), and how to have spiritual conversations with kids who are grown.

[2:32] Of the Six Streams, which is the best one to sit in that gives the most bang for the buck in the journey of Christian spiritual formation?

[19:24] I struggle a lot in my day-to-day life with decision fatigue, second-guessing myself, and fears about not being "good enough." This past school term, I developed a very beneficial rhythm of weekly fasting and found the practice deeply helpful. However, now that I'm on my summer schedule that old rhythm no longer works well and I haven't fasted consistently. Whenever it's been a while since I've fasted, I start thinking about it frequently, even every day or every meal and fretting about whether it's a good time or not.... Are there some stabilizing questions or thoughts that I can come back to when I start to debate fasting? What are valid vs. invalid reasons not to fast, be it in the moment or for a season?

[37:50] What are some suggestions in talking to adult children about spiritual matters?

Resources Mentioned