Episode 26: How and Why We Love the Way That We Love

09/01/18 • 37 min

In this week's episode, we talk about how the imprints of love that our parents and family that we grew up with, affect us in our adulthood.

We talk about all of this through the lens of the book "How We Love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich, which is EXCELLENT and we Highly recommend it.

You can find it here.

But if you aren't much of a book reader (and of course they have it on Audible.com, which is great since that's how we read it) you should at the very least go to their website. You can find their quiz HERE, and see what your love style is.

The five categories are: Pleaser, Controller, Avoider, Vacillator, and Victim.

Chris and I are both in the PLEASER love style, which you would think is amazing. But it has it's downfalls for sure. Like, some Pleasers do things for others - to make themselves feel better, not to make the person that they are serving feel better.

Soul Words are words that seem so obvious to some, and impossible to articulate for others. You can find a list here. Maybe it will help to have this up on your refrigerator, and to refer to it when having important discussions with your spouse and/or children.

The Good Word of the Day

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self,which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

-Ephesians 4:22-24

Even though we fall into certain categories of Love Styles, and they come with negative, and positive connotations, none of us are supposed to be STUCK in that forever. We are called to grow, change, evolve, and put on a new self. And we can help the children in our care, as well as our spouses and friends, to also grow in their minds, and be like our Creator, who is righteous and holy.

In this week's episode, we talk about how the imprints of love that our parents and family that we grew up with, affect us in our adulthood.

We talk about all of this through the lens of the book "How We Love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich, which is EXCELLENT and we Highly recommend it.

You can find it here.

The five categories are: Pleaser, Controller, Avoider, Vacillator, and Victim.

The Good Word of the Day

-Ephesians 4:22-24

Previous Episode

Episode 25: Rilie Norton, the Sweetest Foster Mom

Episode 25 features an interview with Rilie Norton who is truly one of the sweetest and most gentle humans I have ever met!

She is a bio mom to Ivy (9) and McCoy (3) and foster mom to two sweet kiddos (5 and 1). Rilie brings new elements to the podcast as she talks about her experience with ICWA (Indian Child Welfare Act) kids, which is a first for us!

Rilie shares that something she wishes she was prepared for was the massive schedule adjustment, especially in the first few weeks. Doctor appointments, case worker visits, and so much more!

Enjoy this episode!

In this episode, we mention:

-Stewardship where Rilie's husband works, and where we do all of our mortgage, insurance, and financial stuff. They are a company that truly loves the people that they serve, and are interested in saving You money!

-Child Crisis Arizona where Rilie is licensed as a Foster Parent. Click here to find out more!

-Ivy's Bookmarks! You can find her Instagram here. Or you can order one or some at [email protected]!

-Rilie's Photography! It's the best! You can follow her on Instagram here. AND check out her new Showit website here! It's amazing! And she built it in just a few days!!!!!

The (Good) Word of the Day:

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing,

-Philippians 2: 3-8, 14

What a great reminder for why we foster, and do what we do! And the attitude with which we should do these things.

Thank you for your time Rilie, and for sharing your voice with us!

Have a great week everyone!

If you would like to connect with me on Social Media, you can find me:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

and PLEASE leave a review for us on iTunes so we can share these amazing stories with more people!

Next Episode

Episode 27: Interview with Saint Donise

Today's episode features the voice of Donise, a 62 year old foster and adoptive mom. Her tale is a very unique, and absolutely amazing, with major hardships and tragedy mixed in for good measure.

Donise has 5 grown daughters, and adopted 12 and 11 year olds, and 3 littles ages 2 and under. And they also happen to be medically fragile. This is why this episode is called 'Interview with Saint Donise' .

I hope you will enjoy this episode. And I ask for some grace as there are 2 babies present during the recording. Real life people! I am interviewing real foster parents, and they really have real foster kids living and growing and thriving in their homes!

In This Episode We Talk About:

A short life is not an incomplete life!

That as foster parents, we don't always know where a child should go, and more often than not, we shouldn't interfere with that process. There are natural connections that happen, to be sure! But all in all, we can have peace with placements when we just leave it all in the Lord's hands.

Donise works hard and travels far so that her kids can stay connected with their tribal family and heritage. Donise's focus is always on her kids first. Again - Sainthood status achieved.

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23

So true! So encouraging. We can always arise with a new hope for the day, no matter how hard the day before may have been. We are so thankful for God's faithfulness and mercy in our lives.

And that's it my friends! Hope you have a wonderful week, and if you have a moment, we would love for you to leave a review for us on iTunes!

Thanks and we will catch you again next week!

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram