Forever is a Long Time

My parents divorced when I was eight years old — young enough that I don’t have a lot of clear memories of it, but old enough that I was definitely watching, listening, and learning. So I asked them both to tell me what happened, and got two pretty different stories.

My aunt Rari divorced her husband so completely and so long ago that I don’t even know the man’s name. She tells me that story and about the life she built without him. It makes me contemplate the value of a life spent alone — but also of lifelong companionship.

My grandmother never sent presents for birthdays or holidays, and didn't expect us to either. She seemed to resist anything that felt like authority, convention and tradition; which is why it's so strange that she was once married to my grandfather — a Harvard-educated lawyer.

I’m doing a live show based on this series — complete with visuals, music and sound design. I’ll be in New York and Boston, details and ticket links below:

Dec 8th @ 6:30 PM, The PRX Podcast Garage in Allston, MA

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/forever-is-a-long-time-with-ian-coss-tickets-465291939717

Dec 14th @ 7:00 PM, The Green Space at WNYC

https://thegreenespace.org/event/forever-is-a-long-time/

Most divorces in my family bring some sense of relief. It may take three years to get there, or it may take thirty years, but once it’s over, it feels pretty clear that this is for the best. But it’s not so clear for my Uncle Eric’s relationship.