Flintsons & Jetstones

We find Yogi Bear being held against his will, inside the park boundary of Jellystone Park. Yogi is fed up with his life inside the park. He’s tired of being a tourist attraction. He’s tired of being a captive, and, he’s finally decided to escape. It should be pretty easy for a bear to escape a national park, right? I mean, it’s a huge area, filled with secluded spots of natural beauty. One would think an escape from Jellystone might involve walking a few hundred feet into the woods, and turning left.

You’d be right in this assumption, if Jellystones park weren’t surrounded by a perimeter wall of stone, which it is. The only way in and out of Jellystone prison is through the main ranger station gate. This is a problem for Yogi, as the park ranger stationed there will not let any bears out of the park. For bears like Yogi, Jellystone is a life sentence.

Yogi Bear will not let a park ranger deter him from his mission to break free from Jellystone and tries the following methods of escape. Hiding on a leaving car. Playing dead on leaving car. Pole vaulting over the wall. Digging his way out. Being launched by a bent over tree. Parachuting and, of course, being launched out of a homemade cannon. All the items needed for these escape plans can be purchased in the Jellystone store, next to the fine selection of bear length ties.

After many attempts, Yogi finally escapes Jellystone, over the wall and into the woods. Unfortunately hunting season has just started and there are a line of hunters at the park gate waiting to shoot any bears that step over the park boundary. Fish in a barrel you might say. Yogi runs for the parks front gate, but the ranger closes it before Yogi can get there. At least we are led to believe its the ranger. The viewer never actually sees who closed the gate and thats because, it’s not the ranger who closed it.

I have reason to believe that Boo Boo, Yogi’s bowtie wearing bear friend, is the one the shuts Yogi out of Jellystone, leaving him to be perforated by hunters.

I don’t think Boo Boo wanted Yogi to get hurt, but I do believe there was a lesson Yogi needed to learn. That lesson is. When a bear spends all its time trying to escapes its home. When a bear goes to greater and greater lengths to try and flee. When a bear is so discontent with where its at that its willing to risk life and limb to be somewhere else. Well, that bears best friend might take offense to this. That little bear named boo boo might feel incredibly hurt that Yogi has no regard for thier friendship, for their bond, for the life they’ve built together. I think Boo Boo was rightfully hurt by Yogi when he understood that Yogi would rather die trying to escape than spend another minute being Boo Boo’s friend. Ouch.

Who shut the gate on Yogi? Who left yogi outside the park during hunting season? Well, I think it was a little bear with a blue bow tie that just couldn’t handle having his heart broken anymore.

Let us make one thing clear. Fred Flintstone is a relationship mastermind. The planning and effort he puts into excusing himself from activities is something to behold. Case in point, Hot Lips Hannigan, a singer Fred knew in high school, and an accomplice to one of the most intricate plans Fred has ever put forth to get out of dinner with Wilma. Let’s unpack this tale of deception and trickery.

We learn Wilma needs to go dress shopping. This, informs the viewer there must be a formal dinner event coming up. A formal dinner that Fred has no interest in attending.

Fred immediately puts into action, “Plan A”, for getting out of the dinner. This plan involves Fred disassembling Barney’s backyard trampoline, carrying it downtown, reassembling it in front of the dress store where Wilma is shopping and then bouncing up to the second story window.

Fred sells this plan as a practical joke. One to get a laugh out of Wilma. But, when Fred places the trampoline below the stores only dressing room window, and bounces up to see other shoppers changing out of their clothes, we learn his real motive. To get arrested for a violation of Penal Code 647, a.k.a, “The Peeping Tom Law”. It’s a misdemeanor offense, but can carry a six month jail term. Six months? Seems like the perfect amount of time to get out of going to a formal dinner with Wilma.

Unfortunately Fred’s plan, doesn’t work. You see, Wilma, always carries a frying pan when shopping for dresses. When she spots Fred attempting to commit misdemeanor voyeurism, she batters him over the head with her cookware, thus ending his “I can’t go to dinner with you because I’m in jail” plan.

Fred switches to “Plan B”, which he’s been planning since high school. He borrows a large magic trick from a friend. This trick involves a closet sized box that can make people, quote, unquote, disappear.

Wilma and Betty volunteer to go into the box, something Fred was sure they would do, and he was right . Inside the magic box, Wilma thinks it would be funny to pretend to actually disappear.

This is with out any logic what-so-ever. It’s Fred’s magic trick. He assembled the magic box. He knows where the false door is. In short, he knows how the trick works, since he’s the one performing it. But, this is where Fred’s genius shines.

When the women run out the back of the magic box, Fred pretends to be confused. He acts as though he really truly believes in magic. He even lets Wilma and Betty believe, that he’d rather go down to the local concert hall, and sing with his high school pal Hot Lips Hannigan, then try to figure out what dark magic has trapped his wife in an inter-dimensional worm hole.

Wilma buys into Fred’s act. She and Betty then dress up as groupies and go to Fred’s singing performance to test their husband’s commitment. Fred is a huge hit at the club. Of course he is, he’s set this all up years ago. A fan club chases after he and Barney. Wilma and Betty, dressed as groupies, help the boys escape their fans. Then, Wilma and Betty put the moves on Fred and Barney. The boys affirm their marriages and run away from the disguised groupies towards home.

And here is the final stroke of Fred’s genius. When Wilma reveals she hadn’t been made to disappear, but was in fact one of the dressed up groupies at the concert, Fred pretends to be so dismayed by this, that he acts as if he’s gone into catatonic shock. Fred’s Plan B is in full swing, he pretends to be bed ridden with shock and confusion, thus getting him out of the formal dinner engagement he had with Wilma and letting her believe she was the one that got the upper hand.

There’s trouble at the Jetson home. The pushbutton food creator thing is malfunctioning. Elroy selects a soft boiled egg for breakfast but when he cracks it open a thanksgiving turkey is inside leaving viewers to wonder, do the Jetsons eat turkey eggs?

Jane’s had enough and throws fiscal responsibility and marital trust out the window when she takes her mothers advice of, “what you cant afford you should just charge to your credit”.

Jane goes to shady second had maid robot dealer owned by a man who takes pleasure in disparaging his inventory by calling them ugly.

This sounds great to Jane who picks Rosie to bring home for a one day trial. That night Mr. Spacely comes over for a home cooked meal, and is appalled to find that George somehow has enough money to afford a maid bot.

Rosie defends George by repeatedly assaulting Mr Spacely verbally and then upgrades the encounter to physical assault with a pineapple upsde down cake.

Mr spacely fires George and runs off, presumably to call the space police to report felony assault, but decides instead to eat the evidence and luckily, the cake rosie made and hit him with is so good that he hires george back and gives him a raise so he can afford to keep Rosie and have her bake him cakes whenever he wants which is definetel a miuse of corporate funds.

You are listening to Flint-sons and Jet-stones, cartoon episodes summarized, poorly. The following audio presentation is the original news paper reaction and review to the premiere episode of the Flintstones which Flint and Jet summarized poorly in episode 3 of this program. This review is sixty-three years old and expresses the thoughts of newspaper writer Jack Gould, it was originally published on October 1st 1960. The review starts off: One of the innovations announced for the current season was a half-hour situation, comedy to be done in the format, of the animated cartoon. With 'many sponsors making witty use of drawings” Indeed, some of the commercials may have been more amusing than many of the shows, therefore, the prospect of such an entertainment series was both enticing and overdue.

If you are interested in animated series like the Flintstones it can be interested to see how the show was received by the critics and while many of their claims may have been accurate in a certain context, were not accurate according to other contexts or perspectives. The flintstones went on to be one of the most beloved and popular television cartoon series of all time.

The episode begins with Fred waiting for the morning newspaper. Papers in bedrock are delivered on 17 by 17 by 5 inch granite slabs. A simple density multiplied by volume calculation means the morning papers in bedrock weigh 147 pounds each. Fred’s 12 year paperboy hurls one of these 147 pound slabs at Fred using a single hand, leading the viewer to the undeniable conclusion that Fred’s paperboy, is on the juice.

Later that day we find the Musk level mastermind Barney Rubble has invented the helicopter and Fred wants a piece of that action. Fred nominates himself head of the company but bows out of the venture when he learns the Barney-copter can only carry one person. Barney upgrades his machine and the boys plan to test it out when they fly to the bowling alley, while faking life threatening injuries to get out of going to the opera with their wives.

Fred, plus the two bowling balls, is still too much weight for the copter to gain flight. Fred flaps his arms like a bird and is able to generate enough thrust from this flapping to take off. Considering Fred would need to generate roughly 700 newtons of power, we can calculate that he is flapping his arms at 117 time per second. This feat being impossible for a human, leads viewers to the conclusion that Fred takes performance enhancing drugs.

Wilma and Betty go to the opera alone but worry about the massive internal bleeding that Fred has likely sustained. They go to the bowling ally to call home to check on Fred but see two figures who look 100 percent, exactly like their husbands in every possible way, accept for some poorly constructed disguise mustaches made from broom bristles.

Wilma and Betty decide to beat up the figures but when seeing their faces appear to fooled by the broom bristle mustaches. At least thats what they want the viewer to think. Because there is no way possible anyone could have been fooled by these disguises the viewers must assume Wilma and Betty have seen the helicopter and are making plans to steal the company from Fred and Barney.

With Fred jacked up on what I assume is EPO and adrenaline the boys fly home and return to their faking of life threatening injuries. Wilma and Betty come in and appear to be buying the whole act but Barney accidentally gives up their secret. Since we must assume the girls already knew, the next scenes where Wilma and Betty trash the place and chase off Fred and Barney, as their play to gain control of the helicopter company. Unfortunately, Fred and Barney escape on the helicopter forcing Wilma and Betty into a 6 hour poker match for control of the company once Fred and Barney land.

Since the term helicopter is coined by a french writer some 11,863 years later we can assume that Barney and Fred crashed from exhaustion destroying the barney copter and Wilma and Betty’s plan to steal its design.